Joan Lives

My son asks, “Daddy, why do get so annoyed by Harry Potter movies again? I say, “It’s too many English accents for me to handle at once.” I can handle Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes every other year, but that’s it. I’d watch a reboot of the Harry Potter franchise with renewed interest if Russell Brand played  Voldemort as a coked out dark prince of stoner metal, who snorted his nose off, because he needed a perpetual boost out of the dark gallows of crippling depression for birthing such a pure blooded unhuggable cunt like Kelly Osbourne. Who killed off Fashion Police prematurely, after teaming up with Trans Chucky forever.”

Michael Kornbluth


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