The Unholy Father

Planned Parenthood has a sex ed book out, In Case You’re Curious. One of the earlier chapters is, Can You Die From Masturbating Too Much? My advice to my 2 boys is, “It doesn’t hurt trying, after you outgrow your sweaty sex period with your girlfriend, which only lasts 3 months max anyway. Plus, in the age of me to, masturbation is our only safety rail left yet kids. Call me an unholy father, but pointing out the benefits of my daughter being a Lesbian, when every other guy has HPV today, which causes cervical cancer if left undetected, isn’t the worst prevent defense strategy in the world, because you can take a licking and keep on ticking. Or I can just give my daughter an HPV vaccine shot at 10, pray for the best and call it a day.

Michael Kornbluth

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