Lenny Bruce Lives

Woody Allen calling himself a hands-off parent is like the Pope giving a Ted Talk on how to micromanage pedophilia. Career resurgence or not, Carmelo Anthony should be the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. Name another NBA player, responsible for stopping so much flowage. Why don’t I believe in Global Warming? Because Al Gore’s speaking career has cooled considerably. Other would argue, it’s colder than Harvey Weinstein’s old casting couch at the Four Seasons. I just read about an all-girl Muslim prom in Detroit. So, the prom was like mine, pork free. Vermont should change their state motto from the Green State to CBD Oil Only. Bernie Sanders couldn’t even make Vermont great for potheads on vacation. Are dudes in college today being charged with unwanted dry humping, without due process?  If so, I’m for the female accuser having to look her assaulter’s fleshy head wound in the face, to see who the real victim is in this case. Bean Breath Oliver on Last Week Tonight insists ANTIFA isn’t a nationally recognized terrorist organization. And Judd Apatow is the Chief Happiness Officer for Breitbart. Michael Kornbluth

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