Do It All Dad On Lot’s Of Things

On Conservatism:

Every other conservative mouthpiece in the media is a self-serving, droll, douchebag who talks a big game but does nothing to help up and comers magnify their superior, vastly more interesting, highly less grating voices.

On Family:

God only gives kids to only the lonely. Kids are family upgrades. More importantly, your kids know when mama is being overtly shitty to daddy or not.

On Feminism:

Feminists don’t treat Stay At Home Dads with equal respect, which reveals their ugliness inside and out. Mom asks me, “Did you have my granddaughter watch the Woman’s March on Washington? I said, “If I did, I’d insist she wear a burka to see she’s got nothing to bitch about in comparison. Plus, your granddaughter is more into playing with her Barbies than subbing creative playtime with watching a whole lot Rosie’s sporting a whole lot of chins. Last, she’s learning to read now. So I don’t need to hear my daughter try to make out one of those protest signs saying, “Daddy, what’s pa, pa, pussy power? Is that a new show on Amazon Prime?”

On Media:

These days, the media trusts the media less than the integrity left in the Supreme Court. I don’t care how many kids Amy Barret adopted. She’s the equivalent of Mike Pence in drag. Mia Farrow adopted a bunch of kids, but that doesn’t make her Mother Theresa, knowing what she allowed to happen under her all knowing, morally grounded watch.

On Excuses:

Trump had 4 years to prepare for massive voter fraud and he did nothing to stop it before or after. Reese Witherspoon in the movie Election wouldn’t allowed this shit to happen under her watch. At least you know Reese reads books to inform her on subjects and does more more than pose with her book friend clubs on the cover of her cookbook Whiskey in a Teacup, looking far more flattering than her bookworm friends do in polka dots.

On Faith:

Believing Joe Biden cares about unity is like believing Lebron James cares about being called for traveling.

On Culture:

Our country’s state of the union right now is like Stephen Colbert’s handle on funny these days, shaky. At least impersonating Bill O’Reilly gave him gravitas.

Michael Kornbluth

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