At the Kosher Butcher and say, “A jar of Duck sauce. I don’t have to go out for Chinese ever again. Only to feel less welcome than a resurgent herpes sore on the spot.” Latino Koshertarian Butcher laughs long time.
Do kids in China count bats if they have a hard time staying away for finals week?
Have you seen the new Sales Force Towner in Manhattan? I haven’t seen such a hulking monstrosity taint the Manhattan skyline since Meghan McCain floated down Broadway dressed as a plus size Gumby for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
A leadership book by Cuomo is less believable than a Stacy Abrahms romance novel, especially when the character based on her, finds love as a middle aged TV executive for BET who ditches the fat suit in exchange for a parachute jumper on casual Friday.
I hate run on sentence critics. It’s my fault you’re slow and can’t keep up with my gender fluid flow.
Critical Race Theory is bullshit. Guaranteed money in the NBA, regardless of injury or a reliable hook shot or strong the move to left off the dribble is so oppressive.
If Biden is such a good guy, then why didn’t he tell Hunter to cut out creaming in his dead brother’s wife seconds after the cremation ensued?
What’s the message behind the chiseled, inanimate, 30-foot Atlas sculpture on Fifth Ave wearing a mask exactly? Follow the Atkins Diet and socially distance from carbs?
Forcing our kids to wear muzzle masks is wrong. A mask mandate on Boris Johnson’s wife at the G7 Summit, not so much, woof, woof.
Masks are the new condoms, only because I can’t cum in my wife wearing one either, cooing, “Yay, Yay, sex is fun again.”
No kids are dying from COVID, yet Dr. Gnocchi acts like the COVID virus depresses your immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyer’s Club.
Biden is donating thousands of free COVID vaccines to Africa like a poor man’s Bill Gates, who can’t code for this shit either.
My wife really wants me to catch COVID. So, she can rub it in my face and say, “That’s what you get for going down on MAGA mom.”Why haven’t I got a vaccination shot yet? Because I don’t have a job at Salesforce and don’t last at sales jobs very long, which explains why I’ve been fired more than a Palestinian Sling Shot. Why haven’t I got the vaccination shot yet? Because I’m not in the army now. Plus, if I wanted to join the Army now, I’d be labeled as a right-wing extremist. Because they’d learn about my shemale search history on thirdlegs.com, which means I’m against Sharia law and genital mutilation all at the same time, which isn’t gay enough for Mayor Pete’s tastes, I guess. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because I don’t want to act all campy, sporting a “Just Vaccinated” sticker, which screams, look at me, I’m not on Trumpy Poo’s side to. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? If diehard Democrats of what’s become the open borders, rape enablement party, didn’t have their heads stuck so far up their ass, they’d see how they’re not the only ones allowed to resist. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because the pediatrician for my 3 kids told me to get one and he thinks Biden won fair and square. Yeah, and President Trump is allergic to high end trim. Explain to me why Biden got more votes than Obama Be Good again doc? Is it because Mr. Groper looks like a more virile Jimmy Carter in Aviator shades? School nurse sent my kid home today because he coughed BULLSHIT. After his friend Hobbs said he got COVID from watching a Trump Rally on Fox News. Doctor asks me “How do you think your son could’ve gotten COVID?” before the test results came back negative. I said, “We looted a Target in Minneapolis for George Floyd Appreciation Month. But don’t worry doc, we stole all the masks we could find. So, we could throw our Burning Mask Party on July 4th to light a fire under any patriotic verve Lady Liberty has left. The never-ending shit show ends today, USA, USA, USA. Michael Kornbluth