Condoms Coming Early

When in person learning in Chicago resumes in the fall, kids as young as 10 years old will be given mandatory condoms. Will Cardi B be brought in as a guest speaker to demonstrate how to put it on a replica of Lexington Steele pussy’s wrecker rearranger by the skin of her teeth? If the kids are lucky, Mayor Lightfoot will pardon R. Kelly, so he can ask for willing volunteers for an in person demonstration after a restraining order by Kim Kardashian prevents Mr. Groomer from babysitting the latest Kardashian out of the womb. Criminal justice lawyers are so hot right now, holla. Thank you very much.

Kids are being given mandatory condoms at 10, that’s the 4th grade, my daughter’s age. You’d think the boys in her class have enough masks lying around the house to wipe up with already. But masks are the new condoms, not. I can’t cum in my wife wearing one either, even if I’m pretending to be a metrosexual Lone Ranger whose known as the quickest shot West of the Hudson River.

How can you not blame porno on demand for creating sexually active kids as early as 10 years old today? I didn’t even know Vasoline was used as a lubricant for hell hole sex until a camper made a comment about the jar my mom packed for me at camp at 14. My mom was grooming me to become pool time entertainment at the latest and greatest DNC fundraiser at John Podesta’s house after all. He has enough pedo friendly installation art work on the walls to make Marilyn Manson blush.

Kids getting handed out mandatory condoms at 10 is scary. Will 10 year old boys be required to role play with Jussie Smollett to develop an immunity to casting couch distress years later, in Rape Wood, as Obama High’s new Community Outreach Play Officer, according to his new profile headline on LinkedIn.

Thanksgiving at the Obama’s should get weird woke fast this year. Obama says, “Malia, you barely touched your Tofurky. So I let you intern for Miramax before the me to movement began. Michelle was still your chaperone on the set and that Fat Jew couldn’t pin down Michelle if he tried.”

Really tempting text to send mom: How close have you come to ratting out your domestic terrorist son to the Department of Homeland Security for supporting Trumpy Poo again mom? You do know the Klan was founded by Democratic leadership to scare black Americans into voting Democrat over the party of Lincoln after the 15th Amendment passed ma? Or was that historical footnote brushed over in your 4th grade history class in Kentucky, where finger food is considered anything that tastes like your cousin’s panties? Truly tasteless jokes live, holla, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

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