Half Heeb Crazy

The best thing about weed being legalized is not pretending to like your old dealer anymore. Until it’s cheaper to visit your dealer instead of blowing 50 bucks on gas on your way to the Berkshires. You’re forced to make small talk again.

“Joe Rogan thinks Michelle Obama, What’s Talent Got To Do With It, would make a great next president. And Mr. Groper in the White House got more votes than Obama ever did, which is like claiming DMX gave up weed for catnip during Lent because he isn’t a Catholic on his Jewlery only. Michelle Obama calls it racist to flee from the southside of Chicago, the lead maker of blood controlling kits in the country, as if the southside of Chicago is only one Crepe Food Truck away from Gentrification. Gentrification, you know old school liberal talk for less black people before All Lives Matter became the new n word. I don’t care if Michelle Obama is trans, just stop acting like you hate Trump’s America so much, when you admitted to playing with Malibu Barbie as a kid. Throw a wig on in the eighties and Trump could’ve passed for Malibu Barbie with smaller tits.”

Old weed dealer says, “Michelle Obama isn’t trans.” I say, “How many trans have you gone down on exactly? I’ve done the dirty work and gone deep undercover. Call it a Trans Dar. Just imagine Catilyn Jenner facing off with Michelle Obama on the debate stage after coming out as Trans. Caitlyn Jenner says, “Michelle, so glad, you finally decided to join the party, especially after Trans Chucky teamed up with that unhuggable cunt Kelly Osbourne and ruined Fashion Police forever. Fashionably late my balls. That’s right, I still got them Chappelle.  Did you participate in leaving trash talking notes about Trump in the White House with Chappelle during your last blow out party at the White House Michelle? Or was that beneath you, despite claims of Melania having to fumigate the Lincoln bedroom on your way out the door. I know, Icky Shuffle Biden got the most votes out of any president in US History. And you regretted pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln bedroom during Trump’s inauguration. Hours later, The Donald comments to Melania, “Is this what Michelle meant, when She-Hulk said, “When they go low, we aim high”?  But keep getting your panties in a bunch over Michelle being Trans in real life dude, get over it already. Richard Pryor talks about an affair he had with a Trans woman in his book Confessions. He called it the best piece of pussy, Bill Maher never had. Half Heeb Crazy, Joan lives, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

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