Be The Boss

Soy can be good, but sucky soy tastes like flaccid impotence in your mouth.

I pick my son up from martial arts class. Female teacher with a pretty face, and beautiful smile who pulls off the short hair look despite being a tad curvier than most says, “You’ve raised good eggs”, who’s taught all 3 of my kids so far. Later, in the car, I say to my son, “Arthur, can I marry your martial arts instructor?” He says, “Do what you want. Be the boss.” I said, “We need to go into the fortune cookie business ASAP, Kung Fu Lightening.” Challah, thank you very much.

Daughter got upset today because some of her math nerd friends at school got written up in the local newspaper. I try to calm her down and say, “1st, 2 people live in North Salem, so who gives a shit? 2nd, you’ve met one Quant Programmer, you’ve met them all. Plus, Economists are fake news odds makers with zero balls and aren’t getting comped for jack shit in Vegas. Last, my mother got a perfect score on her math SAT, but her judgment sucks because I told her to invest in Google before its IPO was offered to the deplorable masses pre fake news and she blew it. So, like Hillary Hammer Time Cankles says, “What difference does it make?” Challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth