I’m getting my kids into shots of apple cider on Shabat after my performing my new weekly Shabot Shalom Ramble podcast. Wheatgrass is too expense.
At this rate, my kids will better at giving toasts than my mother on Thanksgiving.
Daughter raises her shot glass, “I want to thank Daddy for getting us into shots to freak out Mimi and Papa over Thanksgiving. The way he had us freak out Baba Jida, when we showed off our borrowed Shofar during the Jewish New Year from the local Chabad House in Yorktown Heights during our surprise visit to celebrate mommy and daddy’s 12-year wedding anniversary. What, you can’t call your book The Koshertarian Comedians without getting your children involved in the act.”
Little Samuel says, “Daddy, get back to work and get a job in China.”
Big brother Arthur says, “To Do It All Dad Does China. What other comedy record do you need to hear, besides Art Show Shines Again?”
Daughter says, “I don’t like you upstaging me, Arthur.”
Big brother says, “But I’m the Art Show. And my name is Arthur Morrison Kornbluth. So, you better feel my mojo rising, rising. Sun Butter King lives, Challah. Thank you very much.”
Daddy finally interrupts Art Show’s killer flow and says, “Yeah Matilda, stop being so nitpicky lame.”
Matilda’s 2 younger brothers are given the greenlight to use Daddy’s new favorite catchphrase and chant in catchphrase paradise, “Nitpicky lame, Nitpick Lame, Challah. Thank you very much.”