Dallas Muff On My Mind

I flirt with the Texas pretty manager at a local farm nursery café and say,

“I thought of you last night while watching Rushmore. I didn’t realize the movie was filmed in Dallas. “

Texas pretty manager says, “I actually went to the rival prep school where they filmed it. I say, “I want to shoot my white privilege over your chest so bad right now.” My son thinks you’re solid 7.9 by Dallas Cowboy cheerleader standards. And he’s a tough critic. Can I interest in some Too Tall Jew up in your grassy knoll? Too Tall Jones lives, Challah. We can bang out a new and improved version of Camelot together. We will invent a new sexually charged romance language and jam some sticky Shakespearian juice into the King’s English in the process. Your wholesome, banger pretty looks are all I need to resurrect Latin back from the dead. Carpe these nuts and will make romance languages great again and fuck over those uptight Latin pricks with resounding, stretched out elation.”  Dallas Muff on my mind, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth