Danish Dicks

Did you know that Scandinavia has the lowest percentage of Aids infections on the planet? So that’s why they’re gay about open borders. They don’t have to hide their Truvada stash in Swiss bank accounts with daddy’s Nazi gold teeth fillings. Viking Raiders did so much fucking and pillaging, they developed an immunity to all forms of STDS since the Ice Age. Smallpox, Polio, and the Plague is what they put in a Long Island Iced Tea to round out the flavor. This year, I’m going to dye my hair blond and crash Halloween parties dressed as a Danish backpacker.

“What do you do?”

“I operate a bug on a stick truck in Denmark. But today I’m a Danish pack packer, so are you ready to mount my dick yet or what?”

Rachel Weinstein from yenta breath country in Long Island, dressed as the Long Island Lolita says, “Why are Scandinavians so happy?”

Danish pack backer says, “Our dicks are proportional to our height, and we can’t fall off bikes. Plus, the top 1 percent of Danes can’t get Aids. So, do you want a piece of my superior ancestry DNA or what? You won’t even have to use free healthcare because I’m STD free.”

Danish dicks live, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

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