On Sports:
I want to get HGH for my 46th birthday. Granted, my wife will have less love juice to slurp up on my 47th, which should be a win, win, for both parties involved.
On Sex:
Unless a girl is riding your joystick out of its primary pole position, it’s for the most part, overrated.
On Drugs:
Don’t miss them when I’m off them, including Adderall. Not focusing on the deafening sound of silence on LinkedIn from former high school and college buds after I post one comedy record link post after another helps boost my peace of mind tremendously, knowing what lame brothers in arms they’ve become.
On Friendship:
Either get excited for my comedic mojo rising or shove your measured, begrudging merriment up your ass.
On Love:
Proves whether you pass the give the shit the test or not.
On Sales:
Your drive to sell what you got without the widespread acclaim or go fuck yourself pad in Florida yet, proves whether you make it the mountain top of success of your own accord or rely on Triple AAA to haul your sorry ass over the whatever, whenever, finish line of life.
On Cold Calling:
Converting a cold connection into a warm one only arouses your innermost interest to penetrate more hidden love connections at large.
On Metal:
Speed + Attitude+ Balls+ Wailing Emotion = Soaring Stiffage Inside
On Food:
Make with love or become another take out ordering boring Jew like the rest. My last name is Kornbluth, I know more than you do.
On Family:
Learn to mother yourself better than mom.
On Fatherhood:
God gives kids to only the lonely. Plus, funnier dad, happier baby.
On Flirting:
More fun when you’re married because you exude a far higher don’t give a shit factor.
On Married Women:
My husband is the least sexy, unsolicited for admission on the planet.
On Finance:
Boring fuck wads manage other people’s wealth for a living.
On Real Estate:
Sell any bit of Manhattan for bitcoin while you can.
On Conspiracy Theories:
Alex Jones is smarter than you Mongoloid Moron.
On COVID:
What so called life left do you care about saving since our country sold its soul to the CDC, Big Pharma and China exactly?
On Establishment Media:
Unfunny, boring, fake news deep, anarchy arching, tyranny, enabling, sell out, grossly overrated hacks.
On Big Tech:
The real deal misinformation machine.
On The Supreme Court:
Morally compromised, pompous populated, gun shy pussies in robes.
On the Electoral College:
Billionaires in Beverly Hills are loading up on shotguns now, but their votes matter more after supporting the summer of love to make Trumpy Poo look bad.
On the FBI:
Domestic Terrorist deterrence has gone bye, bye or else they’d shut down big tech for being used as a messaging platform to ensure synchronized smash and grab plots go viral.
Michael Kornbluth
Do It All Dad Year Podcast Blog 