Spanish Winning

Last night for my kid’s Kindergarten orientation, the Spanish teacher implored us to have our kids bring Spanish home to us. I raise my hand and ask, “Isn’t one home invasion enough? And don’t you think sanctuary cities are encouraged lawlessness on crack? And doesn’t one kid only, mean your diaphragm is for walls after all? Plus, don’t you think child separation can be a good thing? I mean look how Jay Z turned out. Plus, if Coco never got separated from his family, he never would’ve turned into a mini Los Lobos in the making. And how is voter ID racist again? Does Julio Silverblade the 3rd from Washington Heights have to pass a sudden height requirement that I don’t know about? Plus, without voter ID, how else can you tell MS13 apart with all the shit on their face?”

American made Spanish teacher says, “Who bussed in this punta bitch from Texas? Secede, pop some Beta blockers and home school your kid then She Male Comedian. You make Beto O Rourke come off as less Beta bitchy in comparison. One more wise ass crack and I’ll dox your ass to MS-13 in a NY minute comprende, Beta Bitch?  You think getting pegged by a strap on in your colo hurt. Try an Alamo full of MS13 gangbangers extras in remake of American Me. And Danny Trejo ain’t saving your sorry macheted ass unless you sell your unvaccinated, pure blood, I’m assuming, for some estrogen shots and grow nicer tits than Lindsey Lohan, domestic dad bombing. Domestic Dad Bombing, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth