A Plus Narcissist practicing kindness on Westchester Jewish Community Services, located in White Plains, NY, otherwise known as the WJCS, through emailing HR Manager Milagros Rivera about what added value he’d provide them as their new Writer Recruiter for hire.
Why should you interview me for your recruiter position Milagros?
Because I wrote The Great American Jew Novel for starters. Surprised, you haven’t written a gushing book review in its honor on Amazon yet, despite Jeff Bezos thinking it’s kosher to allow the sale of Mein Kamp on to your Kindle, which is 725 pages of hate speech in a row, Challah. Thank you very much.
On your website, the WJCS claims it’s committed to fighting discrimination yet why am I getting the distinct impression that you’re already perceived my book The Great American Jew Novel as too super Jew supremacist leaning for your tastes? Challah, thank you very much. Nobody is preventing Hamas in charge of Palestine from encouraging the next Mr. Holland’s Opus to please stand up and teach Shakira Music Appreciation Theory considering it’s inclusive, worldwide appeal knowing the most downloaded artist of all time is more than the go-to pick for Saudi Royals in need of in-house Superbowl Sunday entertainment since Jennifer Lopez made her feel less welcome on the half time Superbowl Stage than a resurgent herpes sore on the spot when she decided to make her kids dance in fake news cages, while she banged a stripper pole to death in front of the millions and millions in the hopes that Ben Affleck, would drunk dial her again. Challah, thank you very much.
What more needs to be reviewed since I mailed you a letter of intent emphatically stating that all your hiring managers will consider me a godsend to work with Milagros, who could sell fertility drugs to Nicki Minja’s cousin that Dr. Gnocchi owns a patent to already? Why do you need to meet me with already Milagros? Because star powered loaded rubs off through sheer osmosis and your LinkedIn profile page is screaming for an emergency authorized infusion. 9th Grade science lives, Challah, thank you very much.
Name another writer recruiter that hugged it out with WWE star Chris Jericho on the set of America’s Hard 100 because he fell in love with your gift for heavy metal video intro prose such as homages in honor of Bruce Dickenson, whose called the “air-raid siren” because his super-natural voice pierces through the clouds of Heavy Metal Heaven, despite Iron Maiden’s music as a whole sounding like sped up horse charging music to exalted, pseudo nerdy, shrieking wails in Game of Thrones, Challah, thank you very much.
WJCS wants 3-5 years recruitment experience, which I accumulated post Y2K while managing to remain employed as an agency IT recruiter, despite the housing market sinking into middle earth China because big banks gave housing loans to homeowner dreamers of all colors, with FICO scores lower than Lindsay Graham’s integrity free balls.
WJCS needs someone to source for candidates through LinkedIn, but I’ve already offered you access to my 6223 direct connections on LinkedIn, which isn’t chopped liver for what most likely is a 60K max recruitment manager position for a not–for profit organization that offers zero Hannukah bonus for the miracle of making your organization appear less racial identity obsessed than the ACLU throughout George Floyd Appreciation Month. The same ACLU who cares less about a Stay At Home Shemale Comedian like myself for making the Koshertarian family meal great again, through the more laughs and yummy dances I get from my God loving, fuss free, hilariously sweet children. After two gnaw-tastic bites from my Kosher chicken wings made in the Air Fryer using a Jewish cookbook jacked barbeque sauce recipe including a pomegranate-based syrup sweetener with molasses and brown sugar to keep it soul shine real, my close to 5-year-old son, Hardcore Hunga Rocks, declares with emphatic, soul man and a half glee, “Kosher Meat Rocks. I’m going to follow the meat to get meatier bites.” It’s a holier, cleaner pursuit than chasing down Lindsey Graham’s meat spewing’s at the nearest glory hole trucker stop in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina last time I checked, so I’ll take it.
Milagros, your lack of responsiveness is making it very difficult for me to practice more kindness on the WJCS’s behalf. I worked as an IT agency recruiter on and off in LA and Manhattan for 8 years in my twenties and thirties. How many more times can you flip through the lunch menu at Epstein’s only to come across more indecisive than Jared Kushner holding up the salad line at the Bellagio?
WJCS is committed to being culturally transparent organization. Ok, then has anyone in a visible leadership position at WJCS still allowed on Twitter or allowed to like the Joe Rogan fan page on Facebook, despite new disclaimers of potentially dangerous misinformation on his podcast like wasting your life on listening to Ari Sharif try to come across as Thomas Mann deep who sounds like a permanent head cold, who’s perpetually sneezing into his Talus? Would the WJCS ever host its own podcast with me as the host to interview RFK Junior to discuss reverse racist doctors responsible for denying heart transplant surgery to unvaccinated dads despite your feel-good talk of fighting racism one mongoloid moron damning, hypocritical tossed oath at a time?
WJCS offers outpatient services to help those overcome emotional trauma. Have burning mask parties for the kids been proposed from hate speech therapists on staff yet? Or are your Social Services Counselors more down with working as Vax ID bouncers at a Bubba Gump Shrimp for some extra cash paid under the table that’s tax free, despite the money never being used to fly in more illegal immigrants with pre-paid credit card bills and COVID vax exemption cards to cash in at a local Holiday Inn to terrorize and take over near you.
WJCS supports LGBTQ rights as do I. But does WJCS support parent’s rights to vote out school boards who coddle and protect teens who identify as rapists in skirts or does your woke board of directors just debase those parents as fringe minority domestic terrorists like the rest?
WJCS claims it’s committed to helping those disadvantaged overcome learning disabilities. Does that include Karens who think masks are the new condoms, not that anyone is itching to pump her kitty litter stank box with loads of hate speech and white privilege or is going out of their way to mark down the event on their Outlook Calander as a must-see super spreader event on YouKarenBlow.com.
WJCS cares for seniors, except the ones forced to die alone in elderly homes after Cuomo through executive order forced those same facilities to accept COVID infected Blanch’s to die of more than a urinary tract infection because he already had ordered so many extra body bags to fill out and couldn’t allow all those stage photo ops of freezer Morgue trucks go to waste. Only after Trump shipped in fleets of social distanced hospital beds that got less touches than Bible at an interfaith, secular Jewish sleepaway camp in the Town of Hudson, known more for worshiping fresh loafs of caraway crackling sourdough than mask misery-imposed mandates on our kids, experimental and side effects riddled vax shots on our children? Or else the local rock star bread maker can’t make enough bread catering Stanly Tucci’s nieces post communion bash, like Jesus would grant heavenly entry for anyone complicit in keeping our children enslaved by fraudulent based fears, manufactured by self-serving, power hungry politicians and all the lying talking head, commie siding, propagandists in academia or within the soul sell out medical community among those precious, good hearted pediatricians siding with the FDA and CDC who push death and deny life unless you pledge your allegiance to big government and F Face Fauci you trust. Last night, my daughter got freaked out by the scene in Mars Attacks, when the Aliens from Mars blow up Congress. I made her relax later when I said, “Matilda, sci-fi, means stuff that’s predicted to happen in the future. We can only be so lucky.” Godspeed Lord, Godspeed, Challah, thank you very much.