There’s nothing funny about our kids being forced to wear masks at school like Michael Jackson’s kids on holiday in Bahrain. Especially if they’re too young to identify with the moderate Muslim housewives of Manhattan just yet. Before Jared Kushner helped broker a peace treaty between Bahrain and Israel faster than he bursts within Ivanka in shear whenever she talks dirty to him in Mandarin on his birthday again. Still, I would love to see a viral video sensation similar to one started by the gay hairdresser Brandon Straka who started the Walk Away movement from the Democratic party to announce a Burning Mask Party in honor of my upcoming over top comedy record release, Killerset@gmail.com instead.
My daughter, Matilda, Ten Homer Daily, Singing Rose Kornbluth stars in the Burning Mask Party video and narrates as my infinitely sweeter, far funnier twin whose sports my genetic makeup all over her face.
Dear America,
Once upon a time, Trump made ball busting great again. Our economy was hotter than Florida and Antisemitism right now. Every day, more Americans worked, laughed and celebrated American exceptionalism with renewed patriotic flourish. Then, one day China used financing from Fuck Face Fauci to construct a man made virus used to kill our economy and the Trump topping presidency. So they could steal an election, avoid prosecution for treason for illegally spying on the Trump campaigning and push mail in voting, so they could cheat, steal the election and kill off the veneer of voting mattering anymore. Because of that, schools had to play along with this farce and dress up in masks to project the fake news fear of us being more likely to die from COVID than from a Seth Meyers monologue on Zoom. If I’m not scared of Trump. Then, I’m not into my mother as much as Seth Meyers. No offense mommy.
Until finally, the CDC and the WHO lifted their mask mandates despite Biden trying to push ineffective non FDA approved vaccines on kids, not knowing whether they’re more hazardous than snorting crushed up Flinstone vitamins mixed with Tide Pods just yet. From where I stand, if all the kids refuse to wear the masks, the teachers won’t have anyone left to teach. So I let’s get this burning mask party started this summer on July 4th and reclaim our independence on the eve of my Dad’s comedy record release Killerset@gmail.com. Jokes GenX Dads understand and beyond. It’s impossible to hate such non-stop hilarity like this. This comedy train is bound glory. Hope you can join the ride and help make ball busting great again to. Controlling our kids with comedy can make our kids great again. Myself and my 2 little brothers 98 percent of the time, are living proof of it, USA, USA, USA.
Michael Kornbluth