I think it’s time to reset America’s 50 State Mottos to match these progressive minded times, starting with Vermont, “The Green State”, which should be changed to “CBD Oil Only.” Bernie Sanders couldn’t even make Vermont great for Pot Heads on vacation.
Delaware should change it’s motto to, “Your Nazi Gold Is Safe With Us.”
Nebraska, “You’re Fired Bruce. I Will No Longer Call You The Most Boss With Unquestioned Authority. Move To Australia Once The Supreme Court Rules President Trump As The Clear Victor Among The Millions And Millions, Who Weren’t Caught With Their Hands In The Ballot Boxes Stuffing In More Votes For Liver Spot Littered Joe.”
New Hampshire, “Eat More Edibles And Fade Away.”
Kentucky, “United We Stand With Nick Sandman.”
West Virginia, “Alec Baldwin Thinks He’s Better Than You.”
Arkansas, “Hillary Hammer Time Cankles Isn’t Fooling Shit.”
North Dakota, “Liberty And Union Sitting In A Tree, But If BLM Is In Town To Chant Fry Piggy, Piggy, Fry, Chances Are You’re Packing, So You’re Not As Inclined To Flee.”
Massachusetts, “Self Hating Jew Town USA.”
Hawaii, “Fuck Surf music and Mike Love To.”
Alabama, “Where Have You Gone Josh Lucas?”
New Mexico, “Were Good Enough For Val Kilmer.”
South Carolina, “Spanish Moss Rules Everything Around Us.”
Wyoming, “Trigger Free Star County.”
Tennessee, “More Sweet Tea Dear.”
Oregon, “Tracks Of Tear Gas Tears.”
Mississippi, “The Delta Force of Rock.”
Colorado, “I Can’t Breath And This Incredibly Strong Dispensary Grade Weed Isn’t Helping.”
Rhode Island, “BLM is Coming For Our Mansion Museums 1st.”
Pennsylvania, “Amish Lives Matter If You’re Amish.”
Georgia, “Dr. King Was Inspired By Zionist Jews CNN.”
New York, “Not So Jew Friendly Anymore.”
Minnesota , “911 Is A Joke, EY!”
Texas, “Bad Assess For A Reason.”
Oklahoma, “Labor Conquers Watching The Corn Grow with all the Children of the Corn Tweaked Out On Crystal Meth These Days.”
Iowa, “World Renown Short Story College Workshop.”
Connecticut, “The New, New York.”
South Dakota, “Dead Presidents On My Mind.
Virginia, ” George Washington’s Bitch.”
Kansas, “Danny Manning Could’ve Been The Black Larry Bird.”
Ohio, “Big Ten Beauties On Top Galore.”
New Jersey, “Born In Anthony Bourdain’s Hometown.”
Michigan, “Kid Rock Country.”
North Carolina, “Beauty Queens Bliss.”
Missouri, “Sultry Southern Comfort.”
Louisiana, “Give Me Some, Swamp, Swamp music.”
Montana, “Bigger Than Japan According To Wikepedia”
Illinois “Birthed The Belushi Brothers.
Idaho “Potato Farmers Slinging Mad Weight To McDonanld’s B.
Washington “Nirvana For Grunge Music For A While.”
Florida, “Gotta Love It.”
Wisconsin “Cold Cow Country.”
Maine “Bar Harbor is Our Left Bank Bitches.”
Arizona, “Desert Bliss.”
Nebraska, “You’re Fired Bruce. I Will No Longer Call You The Most Boss With Unquestioned Authority. Move To Australia Once The Supreme Court Rules President Trump As The Clear Victor Among The Millions And Millions, Who Weren’t Caught With Their Hands In The Ballot Boxes Stuffing In More Votes For Liver Spot Littered Joe.”
Indiana, “Larry The Legend Still Lives Here.
Alaska, “Inhaling Salmon Long Time.”
Utah, “Pristine Air.”
Maryland “Play Me Some Terrapin Station.”
California “Criminally Insane In The Membrane.”
Michal Kornbluth
Do It All Dad Year Podcast Blog 