Over Faking Happiness

Fake meat is off the list.

Blame Biden’s handlers and globalist warlords in charge of Dominion software for ruining Impossible Burgers, Gatorade and pools with lifeguards of any kind.

Daddy, what are Beyond Meat sausages made from again?

Genetically modified soy.

Think of air pockets of distress inside John Fetterman’s brain after getting dislodged from an empty tank of Nitrous.

Daddy, I didn’t get that one.

What are Beyond Meat sausages made from again?

Coconut Oil, rice and Mung Bean, which is a plant in the Legume family.

It’s the pea’s gunkier, pilled out brother.

Think of John Fetterman eating the box of Bocca Burgers because they looked more appealing than frost burn soy patties inside, at the time.

The Beyond Meat Sausage I had this morning, just rubbed me the wrong way.

It felt like I was watching the Beyond Mat documentary about WWF wrestling.

Walking away thinking, it’s more fun to pretend it’s real instead of asking Alexa what these beyond meat sausages are made of.

Beet juice adds added coloring, which allows the Impossible burger to bleed, whoopty freaking do.

That’s like learning how Abdulah The Butcher would let faker wrestler bitches uses mock blood made out of ketchup packets because they’re more softcore bitches than the rest.

Being a Hair Metal guy, I guess I’m prone to mock anything remotely alternative to my original love in the 1st place.

Soundgarden was fine, if you’re into songs about black hole suns, over getting wild in the streets over chasing hotties pre-Aids for fun.

I guess, I’m just sick of fake, being served up as an enriching, healthier alternative to the real best thing, Nancy Pelosi’s gallon jugs with Grey Goose on tap included Challah.

Over faking happiness, Challah.

Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth