Maui Wowie Mania

Did you know that Paul McCartney’s most romantic song is about weed? When Paul sings, “Got to get you into my life,”, he was talking about running out of weed again. Fuck Linda’s avocado toast. More servings of Bean curd didn’t birth Yellow Submarine into a more imaginative direction either. The 1st side of the Beatle’s Record Revolver is a total bummer because Paul’s out of weed again. Why else would they open their 6th album with a song about a tax man when they already had more money than God? Paul was pissed at his accountant because he refused to write off his extra-wide rolling papers as an office expense. He had the same accountant as George Harrison. That’s why Paul told John to let George sing his song Taxman to open Revolver. Channeling the ebullient joy derived from falling in love with Linda’s tofu scramble was the furthest thing from Paul’s bummer mind at the start of Revolver man.

The second song on Revolver, Eleanor Rigby, makes Pet Sounds feel like a feel-good movie of the week on the Hallmark Channell or Poison’s greatest hits like Nothing But A Good Time on Prozac. Eleanor Rigby isn’t a song about all the lonely people and where they all come from. Paul isn’t talking about lonely cat ladies on the Upper West Side. He’s talking about all the friendless potheads who consider pot and rock and roll their best friends until the end. Jim Morrison rises again, Challah. Thank you very much.

Finally, on side 2, Paul is popping boners again on the song Gooday Sunshine because his Dealer delivered 5 ounces of Maui Wowie to his flat in Notting Hill. And he can tune out Linda’s wailing about how they no longer dry hump enough trees since they stopped touring and shacked up in Abby Road Studios from 1962 to 1970.

But at the start of the Revolver on side 2, the entire band was in high spirits again, with Linda not around to hock any of her mock meat pies. And it was goodbye, Linda. Gooday, sunshine, especially after John forced Yoko to hand over her last brick hash from Nepal for a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Maui Wowie mania shines on Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

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