Dark Web Monopoly

What’s the latest message from Ukraine? Cribs me. Russian Caviar doesn’t grow on trees. I want a creamy white Bugatti with a yellow, blue trim for Ukrainian Christmas. Keep your Ak-47s. They reek of hashish and Afghani cheese caves made out of camel’s milk. Got Hunter’s Zip Drive by the balls. Got Venmo? Zelensky needs to record his next charity drive for Comic Relief at Electric Lady Land Studios for 500 per hour. Ukraine cries penny stocks while ringing the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. Perogies are too starchy after getting hooked on lobster claws. Pierogi Peasant blues, Challah. Thank you very much.