At a parent-teacher conference for my son’s Kindergarten class, his Spanish Teacher implores us to bring Spanish to our home. I raise my hand and ask, “Isn’t one home invasion enough?”
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
Self-Defense is deader than Kyle Rittenhouse’s prospects during pledge week at the University of Arizona.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
I wish toothpaste tasted more like Bud Light. So, I wouldn’t taste anything afterwards except Kid’s Rocks spurned tears.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
Now Kid Rock can’t play beer pong with groupies on Spring Break in Daytona Beach without his gag reflex kicking in, to the image of a Dylan Hepburn finger popping American Badass from behind to Devil Without Cause?
When American winces, Challah, thank you very much.
10.8 million Tik Tock followers are ten times platinum. So, I’d lose my zest for pounding Bud Light on the front leg of my F Hair Plugs Sniffer Tour, Born free, my balls.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
I’m guilty of wincing after asking Alexa how many followers Dylan Hepburn Mulvaney has on Tik Tok before
finishing that joke.
I didn’t wince because Dylan Mulvaney is trans. I winced because she’s hackier than John Mullaney’s act in Jerry Seinfeld’s Bar Mitzvah suit.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
I also winced at the thought of how Dylan is the best American-made Trans talent Tik Tok offers these days. Our Chinese Overlords wouldn’t consider Dylan Hepburn Lady Boy gold material of any kind, especially since the price of the US dollar is more depressed than Trumpy Poo’s tits knowing that Operation Death Speed continues to cause more cases of cardiac arrest than torn condoms on Bill Maher’s party bus tour of Rio De Janeiro during Marti Gras, sponsored by Third Legged Beauties.com.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
I bet Dylan Mulvaney isn’t even real, just a CIA-made, augmented reality version of what a trans influencer spokesperson for Bud Light would look like based on John Mulaney’s stool sample alone.
How is Dylan’s sex appeal alone generating 10 million followers on Tik Tok? It sounds more prosperous than John Mulaney selling out Madison Garden because he had the balls to after Seinfeld for a change. Cosby was a rapist for 4 decades in a row. Where happened to your powers of observation then Jerry?
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
Click Farms in India wince at padding Dylan’s numbers more than they did for the creep Swede in Succession.
When America winces, Challah, thank you very much.
Michael Kornbluth
Do It All Dad Year Podcast Blog 