What’s Eating Gilbert  

NBA sharpshooter Gilbert Arenas claims nobody will care if Jokic wins an NBA championship.

Isn’t our country plagued with a white supremacy problem?

I thought all Christian conservatives who prefer pristine southern belle puss over stank hole anus holes were deemed worse than Nazi Kraut breaths tweaked on Crystal Meth.

If America does have a white supremacy problem, then shouldn’t the white Serbian nationalist winning an NBA ring be a cause for widespread jubilee?

Jokic’s new celebrity line of Raspberry Vodka from Serbia puts Puff Daddy’s Ciroc out of business.

Proud boys in Denver are sweating proposed rule changes like an extended three-point line less than BLM does getting audited.

Serbian Big Lives Matter gets painted in giant, bold print along Fifth Avenue outside Trump Tower.

Elon Musk blows more government grant money to patent a brain chip based on Jokic’s DNA that’s embedded with a basketball IQ boost guarantee.

Phones at Alt-right dirt rags like Daily Caller ring off the hook with requests for full-page ad spreads by anonymous eugenics enthusiasts to congratulate Jokic for breaking Wilt the Stilt’s triple-double streak with headlines like “Big Dipper Rating Dropping,” “White Men Dominate Again,” “Serbian Legends Live,” “Safe Space For Lebron’s James Ego Is Dead.’

Seattle Supersonics fans from Gen X still into Pearl Jam after they pimped for Hair Plugs Sniffer on the campaign trail throw their decrepit, older than Aids flannel shirts in the air in a deflated state of resignation to acknowledge the new big dog in town while bemoaning, “I know it, King of the Persecution Complex knows it, Eddie Vedder knows it too, in a post-Jordan rules universe, the NBA can’t find a better man.”

Interesting NBA fact, 4-time All-Star Tom Chambers, who scored 20,000 career points, is not in the Basketball Hall of Fame: white privilege my ass.

Caring about whitey again, Challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth