Do It All Dads matter because they refuse to bomb at parenting.
What measuring marker do you use to assess whether a dad bombed at parenting or not?
Not standing down and letting your kids run wild like ANTIFA without any repercussions helps.
But for me, the number one thing you’re in control of as a parent, which needs to become your number one priority is doing your best not to raise socially anxious, awkward kids, who lack enough expressive confidence and joyous wonder in their lives to use humor as a coping mechanism to make adolescence and world at large, a far less scarier, disconnected, place.
Because comedy is a great unifying force and connector of strangers. Most comedians like Joan Rivers got into stand up to win the approval of love from strangers for a living, because they never got enough at home, even if your parents only had only 1 kid because they sucked at multitasking and still bombed at parenting. Still, Joan Rivers never achieves her hunger for love and success from connecting with strangers for a living, without the absence of a strong, intimate bond with either parent growing up. The same can be said for Steve Martin and John Stewart who had a chilly, strained relationship with their dads, prior and after them achieving success in the comedy business. Still, 1 kid only means your diaphragm is for walls after wall. But seriously, just because certain comedians succeeded and found happiness in a profession, resulting from their less than stellar connection to their parents, is no excuse to be a slacker dad and not make a concentrated effort to be the star lightener, comedic entertainer educator at home so your kid don’t become another goth kid, whose idea of a good time is getting brain freezes from more dark cola slurpee slurps in the middle of August while binging on 13 Reasons Why on Netflix, rather than swiping girls over to their party pad in the Cape with the boys of summer.
I judge the severity of a dad bombing at parenting based on extreme distance felt between a father and son or father and daughter when they become grownups living on their own outside of their childhood home as a semi-functioning independent adults, who choose to celebrate their increasingly limited time with you versus only being forced to see because you paid for their plane ticket as an extra incentive.
But just because you lost son lost interest in opening up about his day at school because you never showed personalized interest in his likes, dislikes, passions or fears, it’s not too late to win their loving, fawning interest in growing closer to you again. All you have to do, is be funnier than your kid’s Kindle.
Famous humorist Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between 2 people.” So, Do It All Dads who care about not bombing at parenting, should work harder at being funnier than their kids Amazon Kindles, if they want to grow closer versus further apart when they get older during their golden years.
Bombing at parenting is enabling your kids to become whiny, selfish, empowered brats whose bad behavior is never pointed out or punished.
Still, raising the rod didn’t work out too well for Michael Jackson and helicopter parents screwed up their kids good, killing your kids with laughter is the sweet spot in the middle.
Funnier dad, happier baby. You want a photo off old man?
The sillier the better dads. Kids are sponges of human of emotion, especially from their parents. For example, I noticed my daughter not laughing at Billy Madison one night compared to the next day. The reason why? Mom wasn’t in the room the following day and her constant professed dislike of the golden Jew in my book, around our daughter and 2 other sons is Adam Sandler is stupid, despite Billy Madison being a beloved comedy classic in addition to Happy Gilmore, that he only named his production company after, Happy Madison productions, no big deal. My point is it helps to sometimes answer the questions you pose for your kids, while also clarifying you don’t want to put words in their mouth. So Matilda, did mom’s repeated professed hatred of Adam Sandler films in general when we watched the start of Billy Madison the other day prevent you from laughing more because mama made the atmosphere more uptight than you’d like? To the point where you restrained yourself from laughing because you didn’t want to upset mom’s sense of comedic culture supremacy? Daughter thinks. Yeah, daddy, that’s it, but I would never be so wordy about expressing how stressed out mama made it for me laughing at the imaginary swan bit in Billy Madidon Dada. I thought you always told me less is more in comedy, Dada. Then again, you’re proving your point by being a longwinded bore in your summation about why parents can be killjoys when it’s in their power to prevent them from happening otherwise.
But can a Do It All Dad be seriously silly without losing his powers of intimidation? Yes, because comedians like kids hate dictators. Instead we like freedom of choice. Kids like comedians don’t like to be told what’s appropriate or what’s not, nor do we like to have others try to boss us into playing in designated play areas, when we’re only filling the air with inspired sweet laughter.
I remember my dad once proclaiming to me on the phone before one of his annual visits back east to see his 3 grandchildren, “So, you’re not excited to see me?” I said, “Sound more like jilted teenager in love dad.” I didn’t say that, but I did think, what a shame he has to feel this icy distance. Plus, it will only become truly tragic, if I allow the same dejected feelings of disconnection to emerge between my 3 kids once they grow up and move out of the house to pursue their own respective dreams with divine powered authority. Because the use of comedy with your kids, will make them socially confident adults, realizing bombing with new material isn’t the kiss of death either. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “On the other side of fear is living.” Last, night my kids, went out of their way to make me laugh by throwing themselves against our bed frame and floor, to pretend mock crying, blowing me away with their innate sense of hilarity and killer comedic timing and powers of imagination with no bounds. Still, I can’t give entire credit to the all mighty and my creatively jacked DNA, but also assign some props to my parenting style, which is a combination of always talking to my kids like adults, valuing their opinions as much as mama if not more and being seriously silly about maintaining a loose, fun, relaxed atmosphere, favoring humor to lighten the mood versus more reactionary rage, on Adderall or not. Because kids learn better, misbehave less, become less socially anxious and grow closer to your heart whenever you make them laugh more than your kid’s Kindle, which Alexa can’t do in her wildest dreams. So, there’s still hope for you to win your kid’s fawning interest in growing closer to their do it all dad again, feeling like the center of his universe instead of the reverse. So you don’t have to feel like a complete failure at parenting and bang out another kid from scratch in hope of not bombing at parenting again.