Pre-Game Fireworks

Groping Biden creeping on Megan Rapinoe in the fake news Oval office set. Forget Liz Cheney, unlike her father Dick, I aim to please. The boogie boarding Kenyan draped my chiseled pecs with the Presdential Medal Of Freedom. Michelle didn’t approve but Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou never had a 3 way with Cab Calloway. So fuck What’s Talent Got To Do With It Turner 2.0. Jonas Salk gave the polio vaccine away for free. So why don’t you cut the dike act out and take a knee for your country. What, you don’t think Camel Toe Harris had an experimental phase in in college? She didn’t come out as Pearl Necklace Harris over night. So are you going to hook up the big guy with some lock jaw love or not? I’m only giving you this medal, so you don’t kick around anymore conspiracy theories on Fox Sports about how soccer players are dropping faster than Kamala Harris’s kick the can clit on holiday in St. Barts. Fauci, you know Dr. Gnocchi, got this medal for keeping Magic Johnson’s secret stash of AZT drugs under wraps before it made all traces of HIV in his system dissappear. Why else would Magic play nice and pose with Meteosexual Getko at the Rams game since he turned California into a sunshine scurrying tent city, sponsered by REI? Now start rubbing your butch cut against my leg hairs, I like that or you don’t care about black people like fake news fro Kaepernick. You don’t think he sports a fake news fro fish breath? Have you ever seen a bi racial afro that large before? Slash tried growing his fro out but it was a total flop. Comedy record 113, Lapping Losers, coming right up, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth