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A+ Narcissist

Narcissist thought progression.

She can’t write.

His writing sucks out loud to.

How do they get paid to write this shit at all?

Does becoming a dad make you less of a narcissist? Not really. How can I be, after all 3 of my kids became automatic fans of me?

When your mom’s least favorite, you’re forced to build up your ego because she won’t do it for you. Why else would I seek laugh yanker love from strangers on WordPress for some Saturday night feeling fever?

A plus narcisscist will go the extra mile to put down other’s whenever their sensé of supériority is threatened like the time when Alec Baldwin called his smoking hot future model daughter with Kim Bassinger a fat pig birthed by Cupid and pre-op Chaz Bono. All because his daughter Ireland showed more aroused interest in Stephen Baldwin’s retelling her what he did to get in shape before auditioning for the rôle of 3 time state champion Brian Shute in Vision Quest over Alec bitching about the time Sean Connery sunk his Battleship between takes on The Hunt For Red October. Insisting over Thanksgiving every year how he wanted to kill the cinematographer for giving him a permanent squint from trying to make out the contours of his crafted scruff from so many wide angle asshole shots in his trailer.

Does a narcissist freak out if a lesser friend doesn’t text back with an automatic LOL, knowing they should feel blessed for getting another A plus topical joke fresh off the press? Yes, but the rage subsides when they reply back with that LOL eventually, which is bitter sweet because you can receive délayed measured praise from your mother. So you classify them as off the dream team friend list because they don’t suck you off fast enough with such frothy, feasting relish.

If he was a real friend, he’d admit to living a zest free existence without my texts and whiff of vivacious wonderfullness in a post covid ruined universe. Surprised he hasn’t contemplated suicide for being forced to feel like such an edgeless hack in comparaison actually.

More drain droning dumpage from the mentally deranged mind of an a plus Narcissist man. Hey babe, did you know Peloton instructors make 300K for giving empty shout outs to BLM on a bike in no rush to riot with their brothers and sisters in Kenosha causing more than 2 billion dollars in property damage this past summer while only racking up one new 60 minute ride within AC controlled splendor per week? So that’s why their so fucking happy all the time, unless Jess King interupts her guided bike rides to stern shame any customers for ever saying any hateful things about her online, who only sold a spleen for the privledge of being annoyed to death by her squeaky doll voice, humorless asides and overtly clubby, whoreish, but-her face, Joan impression from Mad Men. I could be a Peloton instructor if I wanted to babe. None of the instructors are funny except Cody but he isn’t Mario Cantone gay funny either. And all their playlists are more uneven than Jess King’s misty mountain tits.

I’d titty blast her once before losing all interest in banging her esophogus out of place again. If I really need to know what her astral aura feels like inside, then I’ll stick my dick in a carved pumpkin and fill it with my own seeds of perverse pleasure inside.

Peloton won’t allow the hashtag #GoBrandon. I’m going to use #MolestingDemoracy.

Which fate is more préférable? Dead deer or an eye popping Bill from the Body Shop? Daughter says, “But the deer feels pain.” A plus narcissist daddy devoid of empathy for Bambi’s extended family says, “Getting pumped by a body shop for all your worth, as they bleed all your fun in the sun savings dry hurts your insides more.”

A balancing rock therapist is a perfect match for an A plus narcissist because your unquestioned, uninterupted voice, vibrates off the rock with more balanced shooting vibtato. And it doesn’t accusé you of being an informericial in honor of yourself like my hate speech counslor does either. But the hate speech therapist social worker I’m forced to see against my free will because I’m an A plus narcissist, thinks getting a copywriter job in Boca Roton is laughable. His smug snivel laugh sucked up his entire upper lip on the spot. But Vermont has the most new cases of Covid from being the most dosed state. Doctor Timothy Leary wouldn’t need to drop more acid to see if the CEO of Pfizer and Fuck Face Fauici are full of shit as the neverending shit show dumps on. Looks like your bad trip on MSNBC spiked proganda has just begun. But I’m the wrongheaded narcissist, you edgeless, blah breathed jerkoff. Did I pass the A plus narcissist test yet? Challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Veterans Day Special

In honor of Veterans Day, I schooled my kids on why Generation Z sucks compared to Nazi killers and the likes of Jesse Owens, who ran Hitler’s master race theory into the ground, without breaking a sweat over their triggered feelings of inferiority in the process, despite those ultra-efficient, Type A Aryan’s running like cranked up speed demons as if their state supplied crystal meth for Octoberfest was riding on it.

I add, “Millennial Mousketeers aren’t any better because half of them thought Trump was either the Anti-Christ or Hitler. First, sequels never live up to the original. Last, in the Bible part 2, Jesus kills the anti-Christ like a bearded Kyle Rittenhouse. So have some faith in the Jesus comeback story, won’t you people?  If you still think Trumpy Poo is the Anti-Christ instead of the most popular replacement president of all time, Mr. Groper. Whose campaign rallies barely filled out Ariel’s clam shell bra. If Biden got the most votes off all time, Michelle Obama regretted pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln bedroom minute before Trump’s inauguration. Hours later Trump gets a peed on for real this time from above, and says, “Melania, is this Michelle meant when she-hulk said, “When they go low, we aim high”.

Daughter replies, “You could’ve just asked Alexa to play God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood on Veterans Day but God blessed you with the funny Jew bone for a reason Daddy.” USA, USA, USA!

Michael Kornbluth

Dream Self-Defense Loophole

What could you say in the media’s defense for trying to outlaw self-defense while pushing to make Kyle Rittenhouse their foamed over sacrificial lamb in the process?

Let mob rule. But if Kyle Rittenhouse was Elliot Page, formerly known as Juno, the media would lionize this Eagle Scout, Sharp Shooter, as America’s Toxic Tomboy Avenger. Who’s the only one allowed to shoot ANTIFA’s diplomatic immunity up their ass by claiming they were begging for it and kept coming back for more.

The Toxic Tomboy Avenger could get away with jamming a plunger up the Black Panther’s ass for shits and giggles if she he wanted to. The following the day the NY Times prints thèse headlines: Plunging Is The New Gerbiling.” “Give Forced Sodomy A Chance.” “Shitting Out Homophobia One Plunger At A Time.” “Flabbergasted Or Bug In Your Ass Free?”

Black Panther eventually acts in self-defense and swats the plunger up Toxic Tomboy’s Avenger’s ass before choking his attacker out with Diane Keaton’s tie from Annie Hall. Black Panter turns Kyle Rittenhouse white after the gay mafia bought off jury declares him guilty of premediated murder and aggressively active assault on an androgynous actor’s anus hole, formerly known as Juno in Dave Chappelle’s wildest pot powered dream.

The End



Michael Kornbluth

Predator In A Dress Loophole

What could you say in the media’s defense for trying to outlaw self-defense while pushing to make Kyle Rittenhouse their foamed over sacrificial lamb in the process?

Let mob rule. But if Kyle Rittenhouse was Elliot Page, formerly known as Juno, the media would lionize this Eagle Scout, Sharp Shooter, as America’s Toxic Tomboy Avenger. Who’s the only one allowed to shoot ANTIFA’s diplomatic immunity up their ass by claiming they were begging for it and kept coming back for more.

The Toxic Tomboy Avenger could get away with jamming a plunger up the Black Panther’s ass for shits and giggles if she he wanted to. The following the day the NY Times prints thèse headlines: Plunging Is The New Gerbiling.” “Give Forced Sodomy A Chance.” “Shitting Out Homophobia One Plunger At A Time.” “Flabbergasted Or Bug In Your Ass Free?”

Black Panther eventually acts in self-defense and swats the plunger up Toxic Tomboy’s Avenger’s ass before choking his attacker out with Diane Keaton’s tie from Annie Hall. Black Panter turns Kyle Rittenhouse white after the gay mafia bought off jury declares him guilty of premediated murder and aggressively active assault on an androgynous actor’s anus hole, formerly known as Juno in Dave Chappelle’s wildest pot powered dream.

The End



Michael Kornbluth

Dream Self-Defense Loophole

What could you say in the media’s defense for trying to outlaw self-defense while pushing to make Kyle Rittenhouse their foamed over sacrificial lamb in the process?

Let mob rule. But if Kyle Rittenhouse was Elliot Page, formerly known as Juno, the media would lionize this Eagle Scout, Sharp Shooter, as America’s Toxic Tomboy Avenger. Who’s the only one allowed to shoot ANTIFA’s diplomatic immunity up their ass by claiming they were begging for it and kept coming back for more.

The Toxic Tomboy Avenger could get away with jamming a plunger up the Black Panther’s ass for shits and giggles if she he wanted to. The following the day the NY Times prints thèse headlines: Plunging Is The New Gerbiling.” “Give Forced Sodomy A Chance.” “Shitting Out Homophobia One Plunger At A Time.” “Flabbergasted Or Bug In Your Ass Free?”

Black Panther eventually acts in self-defense and swats the plunger up Toxic Tomboy’s Avenger’s ass before choking his attacker out with Diane Keaton’s tie from Annie Hall. Black Panter turns Kyle Rittenhouse white after the gay mafia bought off jury declares him guilty of premediated murder and aggressively active assault on an androgynous actor’s anus hole, formerly known as Juno in Dave Chappelle’s wildest pot powered dream.

The End

Michael Kornbluth

Self-Defense Is Dead

Today, you can’t hit back at claims about the clôt shot being less effective than Russell Westbrook trying to run the Triangle Offense for Phil Jackson Appréciation Month, without your wife ordering you to visit a Hate Speech Therapist. 

Personally, I love to hate. Hate pushes you to find places where your présence is valued and appreciated like at a Trump rally pre-Covid, behind your wife’s back, to make your sex life above average again. Put my man meat in Indiana MILF, I’m ready to play, play.

Hate Speech is a made up term used to silence and cancel anyone who disagrees with the views of Booger Face Behar on the View. Who isn’t pretending to be Tomboy Moses for hag queen reading hour at the 92 St. Y while remagining the 10 commandements for Indegenious People Day. Thou shall not steal the Palestinan’s land and make their désert bloom without the aid of UN funded death tunnels 1st.

Comedy can’t die or America becomes a poor man’s China. I don’t want a see any statues of Lebron in China, do you? Stephon Marbury throw his motorcycle helmet at his statue because he’s no longér the big dog allowed to live past supper in China. Skip Bayless tweets, “Lebron’s statue in China despite never teaming up with Yao Ming’s extended family made with high flying Bat DNA at the Wuhan institute to win a championship in the Chinese Dragon Premier League has to make Steph feel like a Wonton Paper Champion in the People’s Republic’s eyes.

Recently, my great Aunt asks, “Why does your daughter need to know Kung Fu?” I say, “Because the 5 point palm exploding heart technique ain’t nothin to fuck with. Although it didn’t scare Ethan Hawke away from fucking their nanny when Uma played Truth or Footsie with Quentin Tarrantino. Banging your nanny when your wife is on location shooting Kill Bill 1 and 2 while your between Richard Lankletter films is such a Gen X slacker move. You never have to leave the couch.

Comedy is punching above your weight class, assumung the extent of your Netflix comedy special angst doesn’t revolve around why Trans teens today don’t identity as Dave Chappelle fans yet.  He hates how much better Caitlyn Jenner looked on a Wheaties box than his boy Lebron, King Of The Persecution ever did, especially knowing how Bruce Jenner never bent over backwards to suck off commie dick for more benjamins in exchange for Ball Gags Made In China.

Comedy is spitting out the shit sandwich you’re being forced to eat with a smile under this Domestic Terrorist labeling administration such as masked up kids for life like Michael Jackson’s kids on holiday in Bahrain, for Sharia Law Lifetime.

Comedy offers a final shot to counter against cascading cunt cowardice. For example, I’m at a nail Salon for a massage to soothe my pinched nerve from sucking up my ego around my wife since the day Democracy died. I almost give my tip to the far bigger backed latino woman with a mask on. She points at her co-worker and says with palpable pissed off malice, “She massaged you, not me.” I could’ve taken it on the chin with a forced smile on my face after this big backed punta bitch tried to frame me as a Pineapple plantation heiress from San Juan in Succession. Instead, I say, “How could I lose my love connection with your better half so fast?” Fine, self-defense is mostly dead, but don’t get soft on me America or you’ll let those who side with ANTIFA in Kenosha squeeze out whatever fight back spirit you have left. And George Washington don’t play that. The Purple heart of Valor is awarded to injury under fire during war. The least you can do is tell your Biden supporter relative left over Thanksgiving, “Insurrection, it was a self guided selfie tour of the Capital Building. Nancy Denture Breath Pelosi would’ve torn up their interniary anyway.”

Michael Kornbluth

Michael Kornbluth

Let Mob Rule

“I did what I had to do to stop the person who was attacking me.”

Kyle Rittenhouse

Triggering Kyle Rittenhouse attackers over Zoom for Thanksgiving. Lord, thanks for not letting mob rule for a change, Amen.

Happy Veterans Day to all our vets who’ve been to hell and back, who all proclaimed in their hearts during the thick of the fight, we’d all go down together. That song gives me goose bumps every time, but not as much as sharing this Veterans Day special drawing with my mother from my beautiful artist son, who makes Old Glory tingle with American made love from sea to shining sea again. Mom texts back with, “I love it”, with 2 whopping exclamation points to follow. Kyle Rittenhouse would love it. Shit, he’d even text my son 3 AR-15 Emojis in his honor for honoring those true defenders of truth and justice. Those in power who let mob rule are fake news Good Samaritan Hippies at heart. But knowing is half the battle, yoh Joe. Sergeant Slaughter lives, challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Greatest Artist Son Ever

In honor of Veterans Day, I’ll school my kids today on why Generation Z sucks compared to Nazi killers and the likes of Jesse Owens, who ran Hitler’s master race theory into the ground without breaking a sweat over their triggered feelings of inferiority in the process, despite those ultra-efficient, Type A Aryan’s running like cranked up speed demons as if their state supplied crystal meth for Octoberfest was riding on it. 

Happy Veterans Day to all our vets who’ve been to hell and back, who all proclaimed in their hearts during the thick of the fight, we’d all go down together. That song makes me tear up every time, but not as much as sharing this pic with my mother from my beautiful artist son, who makes Old Glory tingle with American made love from sea to shining sea again, USA, USA, USA!