Dear Jewish People

Phew, Dave Chappelle is done comparing Bruce Jenner changing his name to what Ali did 50 years before all lives matter become the new n word. What, a relief. Maybe now, Dave will show a smidgen of self-corrective awareness, and not be so ready to defend R. Kelly in his act anymore by calling him the black Elvis with weak bladder control. Also, Bruce Jenner was never asexual. But I bet Bruce stayed harder longer, after he convinced wife Kris Jenner to cut her short, so she would look more like a dolled up Ralph Machio, before Chelsea Handler came out as a full time social justice activist to detract the online world from her tit’s sagging popularity. Oh yeah, let’s not forget Dave Chappelle’s alleged brilliance in implying that Rihanna got what was coming to her, because her big ass forehead was bound to get in the way of another Chris Brown roundhouse again. The race defender supremacist supreme wrote off the kids at the Never Land Ranch as transient pubescent fame whores who went into the sleepover wanting more than an autograph. How did the wannabe smart, poignant deep Paul Mooney 2.0 excuse Michael Jackson for murdering one age of innocence after another like a smooth criminal? Dave Chappelle said what in Michael Jackson’s defense again, “All the Beatles royalty points in the world, can’t buy me love.” Did Chappelle ever impersonate Marlon Brando’s shrink part in Don Juan De Marco and say, “Michael, just because it happened at the Neverland Ranch, doesn’t mean it never happened Michael.” Hey Chappelle, instead of making more Trans jokes, nobody gives a shit about, which requires 0.0 bravery, when you’re not Jim Norton expressing your actual sexual attraction toward one on thridlegs.com for the welcome 0.0 body fat around their waists for a change. Why not use your keeping it real cultural cache with Jeff Bezos and suggest he’d hook up Monique with some voice over work and make her the new voice of Alexa because your benefactor at Netflix won’t hook up large and in charge woman with comedy specials because of charges of racism, which is precious, despite them dumping mo money into Chris Rock’s next special, Kill Whitey Already, than what American taxpayers will spend on the new Infrastructure Deal to pay for the reconstruction of Hunter’s deviated septum. Unfortunately, you can no longer pay the past great Chris Rock with just one rib. So team up with your boy Kayne and campaign for Jeff Bezos to make Monique the new voice of Alexa to prove Amazon really cares about promoting diverse voices besides still making Mein Kampf available on Kindle, which is 725 pages of hate speech in a row. Alexa’s voice has to trigger Chappelle because she sounds like Scarlett Johansen between US military subsidized estrogen throat blocker treatments. Again Chappelle, if America is so racist, then why did Obama Be Good become President twice, besides him only having to beat Mitt’s power tie collection from Brooks Brothers while promising to reverse W’s path of never ending prick return? Also, Trumpy Poo got the same amount votes as Obama did. So what’s your ultra wise, soul deepening quote on race relations in our country again Dave, besides Black Supremacist Entertainers lives mattering most after Thug Lives Matter Most? Is it that the 80 million people who voted for Obama who voted for Trumpy Poo experienced a sudden midlife white supremacist crisis after Obama rebranded ISIS ISIL so they’d sound more start friendly in the Business Insider? There’s an Obama accomplishment you can be proud to cite on 97.1 with Funk Master Flex next time you think it’s a good look defending rappers named Da Baby. How did all the lispy, hell hole damned, Jewish trolls controlling the Internet according to Dave, twist up Da Baby’s comments at a rap show in Miami, primo fagalah country last time I checked again? When Da Baby said, “If you didn’t show up today with HIV, AIDS, or any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that’ll make you die in two to three weeks, then put your cell phone lighter up.” It’s a good thing security checked for COVID vaccination passports before the show then. Also, when Da Baby said, “If you didn’t show up today with HIV, AIDS, or any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that’ll make you die in two to three weeks, then put your cell phone lighter up.” Was Da Baby thinking the gay junkie who got pricked with the HIV virus from dosing off on top some miscellaneous dick on a bench in one of those autonomous zones in Portlandia was barely hanging on by the thread of his hand me down Aids blanket from the Salvation Army in South Beach, to the point where he couldn’t muster the strength to raise his cell phone out of spite alone, only to yell, “Ever heard of Truvada, bitches? Anti-Viral inhibitors rock, you homophobic fucko’s. They actually prevent the virus from spreading, which is more than I can say for masks, you Fauci Face Fuckers wannabes. And unless you’ve had a friend or love die of Aids Chappelle, or Da Baby, then stop your pussy yapping about gay feelings and Caitlyn Jenner being a better alpha man in shear then you’ll ever be. Caitlyn Jenner used to grace the cover of Wheaties. The only thing Da Baby covers is more deflecting projection on the behalf of the hip hop gay mafia. And enough with the word pandemic to describe COVID. Aids will and always will be the most feared killer queen of them all. So stop acting like catching an ithcy esophagus from COVID is worse than entry into the Dallas Buyers Club, Mcconaughey. You only won an Oscar on the subject. So, stop acting like you’re nothing more than an opportunistic, award sucker off parasite like the rest, OK. Dennis Leary lives, Challah, thank you very much.

Am I the only one queasy from every hack journalist trying to soften the blow of Chappelle being a black entertainer supremacist defender extremist? Who get’s his panties in a bunch because of members of the Trans community have spoken out about his prolonged fixation on minimizing their feminine identity because the majority are confused, privileged, white bitches, compared to the King Of The Persecution Complex, Lebron Drama Queen Diaries. Because guaranteed max money contracts in the NBA, despite injury, contractual obligation or peer pressure used to develop a strong move to your left is so oppressive.

If the wannabe Dick Gregory gave two shits about ennobling young impressionable black men today, by switching their focus less on their victimized mentality, then Half Baked would team up with Nike to a produce a bunch of commercials with fake news fro Collin Kaepernick that use the reimagined slogan, “Just Stop Resisting Arrest.” Now that would be a step in the right direction for our country and the people you act like you’re so interested in empowering like a stoner Curtis Mayfield in the making Dave.

Dear Jewish people, Dave Chapelle hates your guts, Jeff Ross included, when he does a dumb, hacky joke about a colony of world controlling Aliens called Space Jews because we control the Federal Reserve, the Western Wall and all the banks in North Pole to. I hope Dave Chappelle hates my people more for my funnier jokes than he’s capable of producing since he became a sell out hack who thinks Trans teens who suffer from major mental health jokes are the height of hilarity these days when other big boy targets remained untouched in his act such as the CDC, China, what’s become of the Rape Enablement Party, Mr, Groper’s staged fake news White House production sets, Valerie Jarrett, Obama’s live-in Arabian Horse Whisperer and author pusher of the nuke gifting deal to Iran that freed up sanctions and gave them 150 billion dollars in unmarked bills in the still of the night to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal products for the Kardashians. Also, your idol Richard Pryor Dave, loved trans in the sack. In his autobiography Confessions, Pryor talks about how a Trans lady was the best piece of pussy Bill Maher never had. And if you’re going to finish strong Chapelle with your last special that’s so LBGT focused, that’s called The Closer no less, how do you not wrap up your set without any jokes about us learning how Ellen is besties with W now? Because Ellen regardless of party affiliation, is pro bush all the way. What do Ellen and W do together exactly? Invite Michelle Obama over on a Saturday night for a game of Operation, gender reassignment addition? Do Ellen and Michelle watch Portia De Rossi squirm with discomfort as W takes a break from painting maimed vets he gave PTSD to and do a portrait of Ellen’s slave wife property getting her white privileged clit chopped off during Sharia Law Appreciation Century or what? And Colin Kaepernick does sport a fake news fro. Have you ever seen a bi-racial afro that large before? Slash tried to grow it out and it was a total flop. Last, if Biden got more votes than Obama Dave, then Michelle Obama suffers from PTSD for pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln Bedroom after Trump got sworn in. Hours later, Trump get’s peed on for real from the Ceiling Fan in the Lincoln Bedroom. Later, Trump tells Melania about the ceiling pan peeing incident and says “Melania, is this what She-Hulk meant when she-he said, when they go low, we aim, high.” Joan lives. Now, that’s a closer proving you’re an equal opportunity offender, not another race defender supremacist Dave.

Oh yeah, back to any self-respecting Jews left on this God blessed earth, Dave Chappelle hates your funny Jew bone, especially when a plus gemry comes from a big headed heeb like myself who can capture the great Jeff Ross like no other roasting another one of Dave’s cherished idols Jay Z, during Super Bowl Sunday in the VIP room. Jeff Ross says, “Jigga Man, don’t you think child separation can be a good thing? I mean, look how you turned out. Plus, if Coco never got separated from his parents, he never would’ve become a mini Los Lobos in the making. Beyonce sitting out the national anthem was a classy move Jay. Let me guess, she got pissed because Demi Lovato singing the National Anthem rubbed her the wrong way because Demi sounded too much like the white privledged version of Alabama Shakes. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger Jigga. Can’t you just hire Bennie Segal do it? Or what about Damon Dash if the price is right? But you can’t knock Snoop’s Dog’s new wine right Jigga? Wine Advocate says, “Snoop’s Merlot tastes like mouthwash used in porn hood hell. Lucky for you, Nas doesn’t fill up the new Yankee Stadium the way you did when you played the first concert at the House That Gentrification Built. Gentrification, you know liberal talk for less classy Cardi B’s and increased shots of unhealthy looking gay guys pounding Wheat Grass together at the new Jamba Juice in Fort Green on Dekalb Avenue. Will Twitter allow you to admitt you miss Trump a little bit Jigga Man? I miss Trump’s relentless optimism and over the top salesmanship personally. If Fuck Face Fauci shot up Trump with the dirty needle the Deep State used to take out Easy E, Trump would tweet the next morning on whatever hate speech spewing platform he’s allowed on next, “Do I have HIV? Yes, but my T-Cell count numbers have never been stronger.” Can I get a holla, for some Challah? Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Dear Jewish People

Phew, Dave Chappelle is done comparing Bruce Jenner changing his name to what Ali did 50 years before all lives matter become the new n word. What, a relief. Maybe now, Dave will show a smidgen of self-corrective awareness, and not be so ready to defend R. Kelly in his act anymore by calling him the black Elvis with weak bladder control. Also, Bruce Jenner was never asexual. But I bet Bruce stayed harder longer, after he convinced wife Kris Jenner to cut her short, so she would look more like a dolled-up Ralph Macchio, before Chelsea Handler came out as a full-time social justice activist to detract the online world from her tit’s sagging popularity. Oh yeah, let’s not forget Dave Chappelle’s alleged brilliance in implying that Rihanna got what was coming to her, because her big ass forehead was bound to get in the way of another Chris Brown roundhouse again. The race defender supremacist supreme wrote off the kids at the Never Land Ranch as transient pubescent fame whores who went into the sleepover wanting more than an autograph. How did the wannabe smart, poignant deep Paul Mooney 2.0 excuse Michael Jackson for murdering one age of innocence after another like a smooth criminal? Dave Chappelle said what in Michael Jackson’s defense again, “All the Beatles royalty points in the world, can’t buy me love.” Did Chappelle ever impersonate Marlon Brando’s shrink part in Don Juan De Marco and say, “Michael, just because it happened at the Neverland Ranch, doesn’t mean it never happened Michael.” Hey Chappelle, instead of making more Trans jokes, nobody gives a shit about, which requires 0.0 bravery, when you’re not Jim Norton expressing your actual sexual attraction toward one on thridlegs.com for the welcome 0.0 body fat around their waists for a change. Why not use your keeping it real cultural cache with Jeff Bezos and suggest he’d hook up Monique with some voice over work and make her the new voice of Alexa because your benefactor at Netflix won’t hook up large and in charge woman with comedy specials because of charges of racism, which is precious, despite them dumping mo money into Chris Rock’s next special, Kill Whitey Already, than what American taxpayers will spend on the new Infrastructure Deal to pay for the reconstruction of Hunter’s deviated septum. Unfortunately, you can no longer pay the past great Chris Rock with just one rib. So, team up with your boy Kayne and campaign for Jeff Bezos to make Monique the new voice of Alexa to prove Amazon really cares about promoting diverse voices besides still making Mein Kampf available on Kindle, which is 725 pages of hate speech in a row. Alexa’s voice has to trigger Chappelle because she sounds like Scarlett Johansen between US military subsidized estrogen throat blocker treatments. Again Chappelle, if America is so racist, then why did Obama Be Good become President twice, besides him only having to beat Mitt’s power tie collection from Brooks Brothers while promising to reverse W’s path of never-ending prick return? Also, Trumpy Poo got the same amount votes as Obama did. So, what’s your ultraultra-wise, soul deepening quote on race relations in our country again Dave, besides Black Supremacist Entertainers lives mattering most after Thug Lives Matter Most? Is it that the 80 million people who voted for Obama who voted for Trumpy Poo experienced a sudden midlife white supremacist crisis after Obama rebranded ISIS ISIL, so they’d sound more start friendly in the Business Insider? There’s an Obama accomplishment you can be proud to cite on 97.1 with Funk Master Flex next time you think it’s a good look defending rappers named Da Baby. How did all the lispy, hell hole damned, Jewish trolls controlling the Internet according to Dave, twist up Da Baby’s comments at a rap show in Miami, primo fagalah country last time I checked again? When Da Baby said, “If you didn’t show up today with HIV, AIDS, or any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that’ll make you die in two to three weeks, then put your cell phone lighter up.” It’s a good thing security checked for COVID vaccination passports before the show then. Also, when Da Baby said, “If you didn’t show up today with HIV, AIDS, or any of them deadly sexually transmitted diseases that’ll make you die in two to three weeks, then put your cell phone lighter up.” Was Da Baby thinking the gay junkie who got pricked with the HIV virus from dosing off on top some miscellaneous dick on a bench in one of those autonomous zones in Portlandia was barely hanging on by the thread of his hand me down Aids blanket from the Salvation Army in South Beach, to the point where he couldn’t muster the strength to raise his cell phone out of spite alone, only to yell, “Ever heard of Truvada, bitches? Anti-Viral inhibitors rock, you homophobic fucko’s. They actually prevent the virus from spreading, which is more than I can say for masks, you Fauci Face Fuckers wannabes. And unless you’ve had a friend or love die of Aids Chappelle, or Da Baby, then stop your pussy yapping about gay feelings and Caitlyn Jenner being a better alpha man in shear then you’ll ever be. Caitlyn Jenner used to grace the cover of Wheaties. The only thing Da Baby covers is more deflecting projection on the behalf of the hip-hop gay mafia. And enough with the word pandemic to describe COVID. Aids will and always will be the most feared killer queen of them all. So, stop acting like catching an itchy esophagus from COVID is worse than entry into the Dallas Buyers Club, McConaughey. You only won an Oscar on the subject. So, stop acting like you’re nothing more than an opportunistic, award sucker off parasite like the rest, OK. Dennis Leary lives, Challah, thank you very much. Am I the only one queasy from every hack journalist trying to soften the blow of Chappelle being a black entertainer supremacist defender extremist? Who gets his panties in a bunch because of members of the Trans community have spoken out about his prolonged fixation on minimizing their feminine identity because the majority are confused, privileged, white bitches, compared to the King of The Persecution Complex, Lebron Drama Queen Diaries. Because guaranteed max money contracts in the NBA, despite injury, contractual obligation or peer pressure used to develop a strong move to your left is so oppressive. If the wannabe Dick Gregory gave two shits about ennobling young impressionable black men today, by switching their focus less on their victimized mentality, then Half Baked would team up with Nike to a produce a bunch of commercials with fake news fro Collin Kaepernick that use the reimagined slogan, “Just Stop Resisting Arrest.” Now that would be a step in the right direction for our country and the people you act like you’re so interested in empowering like a stoner Curtis Mayfield in the making Dave. Dear Jewish people, Dave Chapelle hates your guts, Jeff Ross included, when he does a dumb, hacky joke about a colony of world controlling Aliens called Space Jews because we control the Federal Reserve, the Western Wall and all the banks in North Pole to. I hope Dave Chappelle hates my people more for my funnier jokes than he’s capable of producing since he became a sellout hack who thinks Trans teens who suffer from major mental health jokes are the height of hilarity these days when other big boy targets remained untouched in his act such as the CDC, China, what’s become of the Rape Enablement Party, Mr., Groper’s staged fake news White House production sets, Valerie Jarrett, Obama’s live-in Arabian Horse Whisperer and author pusher of the nuke gifting deal to Iran that freed up sanctions and gave them 150 billion dollars in unmarked bills in the still of the night to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal products for the Kardashians. Also, your idol Richard Pryor Dave, loved trans in the sack. In his autobiography Confessions, Pryor talks about how a Trans lady was the best piece of pussy Bill Maher never had. And if you’re going to finish strong Chapelle with your last special that’s so LBGT focused, that’s called The Closer no less, how do you not wrap up your set without any jokes about us learning how Ellen is besties with W now? Because Ellen regardless of party affiliation, is pro bush all the way. What do Ellen and W do together exactly? Invite Michelle Obama over on a Saturday night for a game of Operation, gender reassignment addition? Do Ellen and Michelle watch Portia De Rossi squirm with discomfort as W takes a break from painting maimed vets, he gave PTSD to and do a portrait of Ellen’s slave wife property getting her white privileged clit chopped off during Sharia Law Appreciation Century or what? And Colin Kaepernick does sport a fake news fro. Have you ever seen a bi-racial afro that large before? Slash tried to grow it out and it was a total flop. Last, if Biden got more votes than Obama Dave, then Michelle Obama suffers from PTSD for pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln Bedroom after Trump got sworn in. Hours later, Trump gets peed on for real from the Ceiling Fan in the Lincoln Bedroom. Later, Trump tells Melania about the ceiling pan peeing incident and says “Melania, is this what She-Hulk meant when she-he said, when they go low, we aim, high.” Joan lives. Now, that’s a closer proving you’re an equal opportunity offender, not another race defender supremacist Dave. Oh yeah, back to any self-respecting Jews left on this God blessed earth, Dave Chappelle hates your funny Jew bone, especially when a plus gemry comes from a big headed heeb like me who can capture the great Jeff Ross like no other roasting another one of Dave’s cherished idols Jay Z, during Super Bowl Sunday in the VIP room. Jeff Ross says, “Jigga Man, don’t you think child separation can be a good thing? I mean, look how you turned out. Plus, if Coco never got separated from his parents, he never would’ve become a mini–Los Lobos in the making. Beyonce sitting out the national anthem was a classy move, Jay. Let me guess, she got pissed because Demi Lovato singing the National Anthem rubbed her the wrong way because Demi sounded too much like the white privileged version of Alabama Shakes. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger Jigga. Can’t you just hire Bennie Segal, do it? Or what about Damon Dash if the price is right? But you can’t knock Snoop’s Dog’s new wine right Jigga? Wine Advocate says, “Snoop’s Merlot tastes like mouthwash used in porn hood hell. Lucky for you, Nas doesn’t fill up the new Yankee Stadium the way you did when you played the first concert at the House That Gentrification Built. Gentrification, you know liberal talk for less classy Cardi B’s and increased shots of unhealthy-looking gay guys pounding Wheat Grass together at the new Jamba Juice in Fort Green on Dekalb Avenue. Will Twitter allow you to admit you miss Trump a little bit Jigga Man? I miss Trump’s relentless optimism and over the top salesmanship personally. If Fuck Face Fauci shot up Trump with the dirty needle the Deep State used to take out Easy E, Trump would tweet the next morning on whatever hate speech spewing platform he’s allowed on next, “Do I have HIV? Yes, but my T-Cell count numbers have never been stronger.” Can I get a holla, for some Challah? Thank you very much. Michael Kornbluth

Stand Up Staffer Stories

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