The COVID Joke Truth Serum

Kamala Harris is less popular than pantyhose on casual Zoom calls.

The COVID vaccine is so useless, not even George Steinbrenner would give Steve Howe’s degenerate younger brother back in the day another shot at big leagues pay.

The COVID vaccine is more useless than trying to snuggle your wife back into her good graces again.

The COVID vaccine has less magnetic power than the Elephant Man show room at Michael Jackson’s house.

The COVID vaccine is desperate for love like a stay home dad around his bi-annual visiting parents.

The COVID vaccine has an urgency problem. Unvaccinated people are in a greater rush to fly Spirit Airlines to Cancun.



The COVID vaccine offers zero ROI, besides fleeting self-satisfied smugness before you learn, it keeps COVID away less than wearing a mask at Obama’s 60th birthday.



The COVID vaccine is a bigger bust than Lebron on the Lakers without Uni Brow Davis to bail out the King of Taco Tuesdays at the Staples Center again.

The COVID vaccine offers less box office appeal for our Chinese master overlords than Shia Labeouf.

Big Brother is more into COVID control, than keeping you comfy and warm.

The COVID vaccine is like Courtney Love. You can’t trust that bitch’s integrity either, despite the album Live Through This being Billy Corgan’s finest work pre Mellon Collie Sadness.



Michael Kornbluth









No More Delta

How will the vaccine shot prevent no more Delta, when most of the new Delta cases are from Demonic Democrats who are vaccinated to begin with? Is AstraZeneca offering a new shot that get’s rid of the Delta strain if you resell your soul back to Dominion for a 100 bucks and a complimentary side of breadsticks?

What’s the new ad campaign for this new Delta strain prevention vaccination shot? You’re stuck with mask mandates on Delta anyway regardless if you get the new Delta strain vaccination shot or not, not that a specific Delta vaccine shot exists or been proven to be full proof yet. So go fuck your friendly skies. Mask Mandates are here to stay on Jet Blue to. So fuck your blue balls, for thinking you’d get a release from mask mandates, if you ever wanted to feel like an essential man of business travel again.



The delta coronavirus variant spreads as easily as the chickenpox according the CDC? Yeah, I don’t remember dying from the chicken pox either. I just recall some mild discomfort in a sand bath and watching The Price is the Right, feeling like a non essential Betty Draper on the rise.

The Delta coronavirus spreads as easily as the chickenpox. So you have to get the non FDA approved stab, or your kids school’s nurse will place you on double secret probation. Harold Ramis and Belushi live. Thank very much.



President Joe Biden announced that all 4 million federal workers would either have to be vaccinated against coronavirus or submit to strict testing and other measures such as social distancing, wearing masks or wearing ball gags made in China if you identify with being the gimpy bottom in Pulp Fiction. As long as the “Big Guy” keeps on getting his 10 percent of the big baller gagger cut.

Biden is also urging states to offer residents $100 as a vaccine incentive. If you’re worried about your parents cutting off from their HBO Max annual subscription if you dare reopening your Facebook to post about election fraud.

Disney theme parks are now requiring all guests to wear masks indoors. That also includes Micky Mouse underneath his suit underneath the pillow case underneath signed by David Duke.



‘Broadway theater owners say that any person who attends a live theater event must be vaccinated and wear a mask. Those aged under 12 will not be permitted at most theaters. So that’s how the Podesta brothers plan on swooping in all that available, young hot dog talent.



The CEO of Pfizer says the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine’s efficacy goes from 96% to 84% after six months. In other words, you can’t keep your fake news security blanket back to normalcy, you Jihadi John jerker offer you.

California public health officials now recommend all residents wear masks in all public indoor settings. Like that’s a turn off at the Santa Monica Library even pre-COVID. I thought the world economy getting cratered just to get Trump Poo out of office stinks.

New York City will pay residents $100 to get vaccinated, according to Mayor Bill de Blasio. But we still don’t have functioning weed dispensaries yet after Massachusetts. So I’ll pass on blowing it on shitty sprayed weed from the Bronx that tastes like Windex, thanks.

EU countries have now administered more coronavirus vaccine doses per 100 people than the U.S. But all the unpunished, rapes, beheadings and acid attacks from the open borders migration crowd offset that meaningless statistic LinkedIn. Who cares if the EU has administered more COVID vaccine does per 100 people than the U.S? All that means is, Americans aren’t such dumb fucks compared to Paddington Bear nation after all.



Michael Kornbluth

Lifeguards Triggering

Biden has ruined lifeguards for me. Add going out to Ice Cream with my kids without thinking of him crapping in his nappy mask again because Jill won’t let him wear her pantyhose around his face instead because she hasn’t owned any since Ann Taylor rung the bell at the NY Stock Exchange in the summer of 89.

Mr. Groper has also ruined reading alt right branded website articles about Americans trusting the media less than the integrity in our Supreme Court since they let Democracy die under their BLM bust and move watch.

Refusing to judge on Election Fraud, the Supreme Court has helped ANTIFA light up the record books for doing nothing to stop them extending the longest pyromania stretch into adulthood ever recorded, post ISIS and the Crusades.

But seriously, Biden has made it impossible for me to even try to warm up to another dopy, smug, yet blank brained lifeguard ever again. Who’s whiter than James Corden after Brian May jams a carrot up his ass for Karaoke Carpool for Bottom Girls love to be pegged by anything sharp and pointy, veggies included or else you can’t have your pudding, you tubby, slovenly sell out establishment bitch.

Michael Kornbluth

Lifeguards Triggering

Biden has ruined lifeguards for me. Add going out to Ice Cream with my kids without thinking of him crapping in his nappy mask again because Jill won’t let him wear her pantyhose around his face instead because she hasn’t owned any since Ann Taylor rung the bell at the NY Stock Exchange in the summer of 89.

Mr. Groper has also ruined reading alt right branded website articles about Americans trusting the media less than the integrity in our Supreme Court since they let Democracy die under their BLM bust and move watch.

Refusing to judge on Election Fraud, the Supreme Court has helped ANTIFA light up the record books for doing nothing to stop them extending the longest pyromania stretch into adulthood ever recorded, post ISIS and the Crusades.

But seriously, Biden has made it impossible for me to even try to warm up to another dopy, smug, yet blank brained lifeguard ever again. Who’s whiter than James Corden after Brian May jams a carrot up his ass for Karaoke Carpool for Bottom Girls love to be pegged by anything sharp and pointy, veggies included or else you can’t have your pudding, you tubby, slovenly sell out establishment bitch.

Michael Kornbluth