Category: health

Do It All Dad Does COVID

by doitalldadyear, posted in fiction, health, travel

Fauci warns, means less than In Fuck Face Fauci We Trust.

If Dr. Fauci cares about saving lives, Hunter Biden cares about helping fund the new infrastructure bill with his art sales to China versus blowing the money to reconstruct his deviated septum.

The CDC recommends kids wear the mask regardless of their vaccination status because their kids go to private school in Switzerland. So what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again, holla. Thank you very much.

Only people not vaccinated are assholes, not the Karen who get’s up in your face at Costco and yells, “Wear a damn mask.” I’ll wear the mask KAREN, only after you suck all the hate speech and white privilege out of my super spreader 1st. But I’ll make it easier for you Karen. Pretend Obama ordered you to leak it.

I go to the Dry Cleaners this morning and they say, “Not ready yet.” I say, “I thought I’d take my chance, thinking, “Who leaves the house anymore anyway? While most most husbands insists my wife is better off wearing a mask in public or not.” The 2 Latino woman working there, laugh long time throughout.

Another heart breaking moment in the age of a parent post COVID. My son whose having a blast at day camp with no masks required asks me at home, “When do we get to have our burning mask party already? I say, “Not until, ANTIFA is designated as the real domestic insurrectionists terrorists by the DOJ or eventually outgrow their never ending pyro phase, so never.”

Did Bruce Springsteen get immunity from the Delta Variant after he sold to his soul to the CDC for free botox injections for life?

I’m so tired of the blame game. Non vaccinated people aren’t the super spreaders behind the made in Wuhan virus. Germs that infiltrate your shitty breathed nappy masks are.

Why should I give a shit about the Delta strain of COVID again when the survival rate is still 99 percent? Dave Chappelle survived his walkabout in Africa with no vaccinations, getting by on nothing but dirt weed, Oprah’s lentil stew recipe and fake news Ali worship in his mind.

Name one reason why Americans should think the US government cares about our collective safety, when open borders Biden had no problem rolling out the carpet for MS-13 at border because homeland security was so weapons of mass destruction years.

Why should Americans think the US government cares about our collective safety, when the demonic Democrats in charge support sanctuary cities, which is encouraged lawlessness on crack. Rapists are re-released back into the streets of NY by the time Bill DeBlasio wraps up another 2 rep 5 pound curl at the Park Slope Y.

Sanctuary Cities offers protection for rapists who can go to the cops for early release with ICE agents on their tail. But the US government cares about saving US lives from COVID? Then, why would Biden let 1million immigrants come throughout our border without checking them for COVID? Are they immune to catching the made in Wuhan virus because the US government social distances them from us by flying them away from the common population by segregating them in more spacious seats within 1st class on Virgin airlines in honor of their sin free, contamination free sparks of divinity.

Fuck your door to door vaccine information initiatives. What is the Willy Loman of vaccination sales going to tell me that I don’t know already? You’ll bribe my kids to get vaccinations when they’re old enough, with more Toca Boca add-on’s they can’t live without. People are still getting COVID after the stab. My kids will be forced to be masked permanently at school like Michael Jackson’s kids in Bahrain if the FDA actually approves a vaccine which works for a change regardless. The Delta strain is more dangerous than barebacking a bat that’s been sexually experimented on with Andy Dick in WUHAN. Delta, come fly the friendly skies was just a fake news bullshit ad campaign in eighties to never be taken seriously like Alan Dershowitz’s fear of guilt through association on Lolita Express 11 times throughout Hanukkah alone, the greedy heeb bastard. I’m a member of the tribe, so me calling Alan Dershowitz a greedy heeb, is all kosher Holmes.

Alan Dershowitz says, “He has a right to get on airplane and know that everybody is vaccinated. Didn’t Nicole Simpson have the right to know her husband’s co-counsel would squeeze the race card for all it’s justice juice and get away with brutally murdering her before all lives matter become the new n word?

The vaccine isn’t fully approved is a parroted talking point? How about I don’t trust any vaccine pushed by President Trump knowing how he pussy footed under the White House with his head between Melania’s legs for cover, while allowing Democracy to die under his watch. How about I don’t trust a vaccine pushed on the American public harder than ESPN pundits claiming Lebron is the new and improved MJ, minus the lone wolf, killer gene since the NBA became a safe space for Lebron’s ego. How about I don’t trust the crazed vaccine push used to justify more mail in voting to steal more elections when numerous truck drivers testified to hauling in ballots to throw in the Dominion tilting tabulation machines, because Biden campaign rallies weren’t enough to fill out the Little Mermaid’s b cup clam shells. How about I don’t trust doctors on MSNBC with Uni Brow Maddow, who sold their souls to China by refusing to be more outspoken about the high recovery rate of patients who were prescribed Hydroxychloroquine within the US, India and beyond the hate speech sphere of Twitter, which only introduced the word hate speech to eliminate pro Trump trash talk.

Why are the Knicks interested in brining Melo back? He doesn’t need to be near Madison Avenue to be the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. Name another NBA player responsible for so much flowage.

Obama is expecting 700 people for his 60th birthday party bash. Dave Chappelle will MC. If Obama is good at basketball, then why did he ride the bench at an all Asian private school in Hawaii? Imagine Obama after Fox News claimed Biden got more votes than Obama did when he beat Mitt. Obama says, “There’s no way Mr. Groper got more votes than me Michelle. I’m the one who got the Nobel Peace Prize for rebranding ISIS, ISIL. So they’d sound more startup friendly in the NY Times, not Strawberry Shortcake sniffer.”

Chappelle is the biggest black supremacist of the bunch, way more than Lebron, king of the persecution complex. Lebron only wants to run for President just so he could tell Laura Ingraham on Fox News to stick to being a less ghoulish Ann Coulter for a living. Every Chappelle bit reeks these days especially, reeks of black entertainer supremacy trumping all flimsy charges of rape and physical assault whenever the edibles unmask his pot head eyes, “The Neverland kids wanted more than an autograph, Rihanna’s forehead got in the way of Chris Brown’s roundhouse right. R Kelly is the black Elvis with weaker bladder control.”

I’m a moron for sharing a baseball poem to my Aussie wife that I wrote this morning called Ten Homer Daily that my daughter Singing Rose Shoshana Kornbluth sang earlier for our planned early morning, in house date. I didn’t even get an “ah” this time from my wife, just a bewildered look, that screamed colossal cunt. She couldn’t even muster the energy to reply with, “But our daughter still loves me more. So don’t let your bonding time session go to your head. But my wife thinks all masks, even the ones made in Wuhan matter. So what difference does it make? Huma Licker breath strikes again. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Dumb Drunk Daddy

by doitalldadyear, posted in family, health, writing

I say, “Matilda, tell me about the Bath Bomb mama got you last night for
Hanukkah. She says, “It’s almond winter mint.” I say, “Sounds like a coffee drink
Michelle Obama strong armed Starbucks to make for Kwanza.”

I support defunding the United Nations. They only exist to give Hamas a veneer
of diplomatic stature like Kamala Harris in a Burka made from Ann Taylor.

The Left today has less use for proud practicing Jews than abortion on
demand because nobody would get smoochy with Booger Face Behar disciples without
a nappy mask on to puke up their pro-Antifa innards 1st.

Leftist Jews today reject everything today Jewish. Why else would they rush to
tat up their arms to rock the Lena Dunham arm flapper look for all it’s worth?
And you wonder why New York birth rates have sunk into China rat ruining
earth.

Mocking full of themselves, fully vaccinated dicks from my Generation X, who got an itchy esophagus from COVID, who still think Mr. Groper won by a hair, who had no problem with the Democrats using mail in voting to jack an election to hide their crimes
against humanity is more than kosher in my book.

They moan, “I can’t believe I got COVID. I’m vaccinated for Christ’s sake.
But you’re still the Mongoloid Moron for trusting your natural immunity over
Dr. Gnocchi, Obama Be Good and Nancy Denture Breath Pelos, who have less use
for lockdown-imposed rules than consciousness clearing confession.”

More pretentious moans of despair continue.

“How could I get COVID after being fully vaccinated?”

“Because you’re a glamorized lab rat, immune to self-corrective inspection like
your baby boomer resister parents, because insufferable, wholly destructive, baby
boomer arrogance never dies. And you’re the delusional, a plus narcissist who
thinks the real America kicked off Twitter already, gives a flying shit about your opinion’s inflated sense of self-worth since you’ve done dick to speak out against censorship and
silencing of any pro-self-defense sentiment since your jerkoff media pretended, they acted in good faith by calling a child rapist released from the loony bin in Kenosha as a peaceful, victimized protestor who only punctured his victim’s age of innocence with guided meditation music on Amazon music, indefensible pricks.”

Kurt Vonnegut was right; the US media is the one to blame for dividing everyone
into either a liberal or a conservative. Why can’t someone just launch a Burning
Mask Party already? That’s right, black men have been wearing a masks for
years according to Dave Chappelle. Yeah, Kamala, the Ugandan Giant wore one in character from 84 to 86, but that’s it. We all know Kamala Harris was a useless cackling
whore before she was assigned border visitation duty to see if the Donkey show is
keeping the dreamer alive in us all. Unmasking Kayne as an opportunistic showboat
fame whore didn’t require a tremendous leap of faith either.  So, Drake accused the infallible Kayne West of writing strictly secular rap music these days. Fucking own it Kayne. Don’t sling me shit like how Bound 2 You, was secular music, when you banged Kim on the sink, while getting some gunk on her mink. Unless you’re framing Kim Kardashian in
your eyes as top of the Porcupine Persian Puss chain, who could turn
your prick into wine to pour over Taylor Swift’s country ass white dress at the
MTV music awards because only Beyonce can get away with wearing ray of light white
after Labor Day in St. Barts.

I can’t wait to give up all forms of overpriced wine and IPAs for the year.
So, I could feel like a less bloated, blowhard hobbit hipster straining to
give any bangable woman sustained stiffage based on their Grateful Dead and Company
shirts and Dancing Bear masks since everyday became mask up Sharia Law appreciation
day.  Without those freedom loving deplorable Dead Heads making a peep about the fascist Democrats hacks in charge of these draconian policies otherwise. What a depressingly dreary, fake news patriots unmasking it’s been. But Hillary doesn’t have evil energy like Trump, Carlos Santana? But Hillary is the best-selling voodoo doll in Haiti, year after year. Plus, I don’t need to drop acid in this instance, to see who’s full of shit Carlos.

Did you know you can reverse all form of brain damage impairment by refraining from alcohol for one whole year? You experience improved memory and better
executive reasoning for a degenerate Jew like myself, with a long, shameful
history of alcoholic bumps into furniture in the middle of the night after
pissing himself while passed out in his daughter’s bedroom prior because he
possesses no feel for measured pounding pace of Kentucky bourbon on the 1st night of Hanukkah, that he’s only been planning for all year, whatsoever.

87,000 people die each year from Alcohol overdosing. I must have 87,000
lives then. Because I’ve drank enough bourbon one winter in my parent’s attic
with my wife to make Charles Bukowski feel like a lightweight pussy poet,
guilty of excessive hyperbole like Hitler’s claim to be Marc Chagall in the
making despite never leaving you with a magical dreamy, impressionistic
impression.

Hanukkah Challah Day Joke:

A Cardinal’s finishing line on altar boys next in line.

“It’s all holy meat juice to you kid.”

Lenny Bruce Lives.

Hannukah Challah Day, Challah.

My brother’s response to this joke was a plug for an old school Public Enemy
video. He says, “Despite your political affiliation. I know you can still appreciate
some old school hip hop.” I say, “Why, because Public Enemy predates the
Thugs Lives Matters Most protests during last year’s Summer of Love? I should still
love Public Enemy because the Jewish Forward insists on framing Professor Griff
as a “victim”, whose career was gunned down by the Jewish Mafia over his comments
about all the Jews controlling the slave trade at the height of Public Enemy’s
popularity despite Jews heading up the Holocaust being banned from land ownership
in Europe while being stripped of any incentive to love thyself as thy neighbor,
when you’re surrounded by nations of mini-Hitler’s mouseketeers.  Why would I listen to Public Enemy after my best friend’s mother claimed I looked like Elvis growing up as a kid? It feels good to be compared to rock royalty while your best friend’s mom drools at the prospect of unleashing your hound dog side inside of her for some totally worth it rib rattling, jail house bound rock of her own. Professor Griff is a fucking moron. Calling Jill
Biden, Dr. Biden, doesn’t make her any less of a lying, trashy, small-town ho, who
never met a brush she liked for Scarecrow Appreciation Month. Professor Griff
accused the Jews of controlling the entire drug trade to Rolling Stone. I’m positive
Frank Lucas would have an issue with that white supremacist blanketed assertion.
If you saw the movie American Gangster, you know Denzel’s character believes, “Whatever those dumb mooks can do to poison my community, I can do better. Just wait until the Saints of Newark comes out motherfucker.”

How does Farrakhan celebrate Holocaust Remembrance Day? Spray Jard Kushner’s
Twitter feed with nothing but termite emoji’s, from dawn till night, but throw
in the hashtag, but Natalie Portman is alright.

New theory behind my compressed nerve: Losing my nerve to offend LinkedIn by
posting more comedy records bound to keep me out of Corporate America forever.

Future father wisdom 1st time Dads can look forward to on text conversation threads from their friends in the same boat already.

Increased wiggle room can be a deflating experience.

Unlike Glue Guns, your sweaty sex period won’t stick.

No looking back once mama’s semi-tight snatch of yesteryear tears apart at
the seams.

You won’t know whether you’re floating in space or landing on an aircraft carrier
museum strip in Chelsea Piers, unable to achieve blast off without fantasizing about
new Bermuda Triangle’s to have your super soaker disappear in.

Give hell hole sex a chance, for a tighter topping experience all around.

2 kids later, Goose would rather spike Wilson half naked around other sweaty
slick Top Gun gunners, instead of taking another nosedive headfirst into Meg Ryan’s
sunny shine snatch. Because sex with Meg Ryan after 2 kids resembles playing musical
triangles in the high school band as you flail your metal rod stick against Tom
Hank’s romantic movie library collection stuffed inside.

Before you know it, your 10-year-old daughter gets breast buds. And you get
mad at your wife yelling, “Why haven’t yours sprouted yet.”

But you can’t get mad at your wife for converting a gingerbread house into
a tricked -out Hanukkah blue one with a Star of David out front for the 3rd
night of Hanukkah. The only thing missing on front door was a sign that said, “No
Liberal Jews allowed, who think Farrakhan’s admirers in Public Enemy are held back
from demonizing Jews any more than Deshawn Jackson only needing to be properly reeducated on Hitler.  You know, Obama’s most admired leader according to the Source Magazine. Obama would give Hitler 5 mics if he could. I’m not even exaggerating. Obama’s the one who loves Hitler. Obama wishes he was that organized. Mass extermination, of all his nosy pestering journalist critics, who dared to criticize his billion-dollar nuke time out deal with Iran would be a gas. Dumb Drunk Daddy, no more, no more. Aerosmith lives, Hanukah Challah Day, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Reimagining Old Testament God

by doitalldadyear, posted in comedy, creativity, health

The UN just passed a resolution to deny all Jewish ancestry connection to Temple Mount by calling it Haram esh-Sharif, which in Arabic means, “King Solomon didn’t build shit”, despite remnants of the Western Wall still standing. And there being archeological evidence of lamb skin condoms buried deep under the 1st Temple used by King Solomon with the Queen of Sheeba, so he could last longer, the next time she flashed her bushy legs under the influence of some primo Ethiopian weed, which was never confused with dirt sprayed week from the Boogie down Bronx that tastes like Windex.

Antisemitism and Florida are so hot right now.

What would you consider more suicidal behavior? Accusing the founding father of Islam of cultural appropriation on the BBC for hijacking the great Mosque of Mecca, despite Abraham and Ishmael building it. Or becoming known as a Dome of Rock Truther Blogger Comedian on Real Time with Bill Maher to take heat off Salman Rushdie by comparing the UN’s attempt to rebrand the Temple Mount as a Muslim only holy site to Mr. Roger’s Land of Neighborhood Make Believe. Dome of Rock Truther Blogger Comedian reveals his last words on Real Time with Ball Maher, ” A 2-state solution is impossible if Hamas keeps fucking Bill. The Dome of Rock is also a 3-minute walk from the Western Wall. So, claiming ancestral connection to the original resting place that housed the 1st great Temple of Solomon is a stretch Bill, like Hillary claiming all of her destroyed emails under subpoena were yoga related while the rest detailed funeral arrangements in the woods if Chelsea’s finance decided to increase his asking price at the last sec. I also don’t recall Drago popping out of my voting booth, only to threaten me with real life hate speech such as, “Vote Trump or I’ll break you. Russian Collusion isn’t why Hillary Hammer Time Cankles lost to Trump. Hillary lost, because she’s an unhuggable cunt, who failed to sell 70 million branded racists on why Baby Boomer Mom knows best. Baby Boomer Arrogance never dies. I’m still waiting for that bumper sticker Bill. But Trump has ties to Russia, no shit, what mail order bride owner doesn’t it? Cut me off any time before the Muslim Brotherhood does Bill.”

Bill Maher says, “You’re growing on me like Dexter on Showtime although I don’t see you getting renewed for 7 more seasons. I wouldn’t want to be your neighbor in Vencie, California, late at night, knowing how many hired loons are available to cancel you prematurely from breathing since my cherished southern California of yesterday became a giant Tent City sponsored by REI.”

Suicidal Comedian throws in some final last words, “But Bill, I forgot to promote my new comedy record, “Not Kosher Baby.” The original record cover picture concept was my 4-Year-Old-Son going in to lick Finn’s butt from the new woke Star Wars franchise. My son does share my DNA, so he’s bound to take a dip into the dark side eventually. My son being pictured licking Finn’s butt was my son’s idea actually. I don’t want you to think I’m grooming future fluffers for the Rebellion. Son even said, “Finn being a black guy makes it funnier.” I said, “I agree. Licking the Asian girl’s butt who plays the Rebel Mechanic wouldn’t work because I don’t see her being popular enough of a character to warrant a giant doll size action figure on her behalf either. Although the last image we settled on for the record cover was my son blocking his face with an old school Playboy magazine while holding up a Playmate centerfold from the 2nd do over Suzanne Somers issue that I got myself for Hanukkah for a Do It All Dad treat. Next to my son in this pic is his new Teddy Bear, who’s sporting an orange foam roller between his legs. In the end, my son and I decided to use the Teddy Bear foam roller hardon pic instead of the one catching my son in the middle of licking Finn’s butt. Between pictures, my son knocks over the orange foam roller with the Playboy magazine and I make him laugh longtime when I said, “You knocked over his penis.” But yeah, so we went with the orange foam roller boner pic, because we didn’t want the butt licking one to give the Podesta brother’s any funny ideas. And don’t act coy Bill. Google Tony Podesta artwork. There’s enough pedo installation artwork on those fundraising walls for the DNC to make Marilyn Manson blush. At the same time Bill, going with the record cover of my gorgeous son licking Finn’s butt for my 45th Comedy Record this year alone, Not Kosher Baby is innocuous behavior, compared to sicko states like California forcing kids to take COVID vaccine shots to attend Kindergarten like they’re grown-up Billy Madison’s who are wastes of life to begin with. The only long-term side-effects these vaccines offer is a false sense of security or a fake news return to normalcy because they work less than Hunter does on his Blow Painting since he gave up doing blow in townie bars in Wilmington, Delaware the night before Thanksgiving, only hearing last call from the bathroom stall. And China loves open borders Joe, because Chinese made fentanyl smuggled across our southern border has killed more crackers in this country than Taylor Swift kicking with Lena Dunham on Instagram. Pregnant moms getting stabbed are causing an increase in stillbirth babies. Vaccinated mothers are giving birth to kids with cardiac problems out of the womb. Grown healthy dads at 42 have been reported to drop dead of heart attacks on the vaccination room floors seconds later. But I’m supposed to trust Dr. Fauci who’s suppressed effective early-stage treatments like hydroxychloroquine to treat an itchy esophagus for anyone under 70, who never condemned Cuomo for forcing elderly homes to house infected COVID patients after Trump shipped in hospital beds for needed spacing, that got less touches than a Bible at Barry’s favorite bathhouse colony in Provincetown. But my mom wants me to get stabbed with the vax before visiting her and my dad in Arizona for Christmas before threatening to issue the take-away invite. Mom tries to pre-close me on the phone with, “I don’t ask much of you.” And I’m thinking, “Experimenting with the most dangerous vaccine of all time, which a preponderance of PHD’s have resisted taking, so you can steal my free mind and warrior soul away is a pretty big ask mom. Your side already stole an election and got away with it. All of this drawn out COVID theater way past its expiration date, where all the evolved ones pretend to care about the health of their neighbor when most diehard leftists want all Trump voters dead already is a serially unfunny comedy, that’s offering no comedic relief in sight. Unless Mike Dikta becomes the new president of the CDC and calls masks a worst prevent defense than pissing off Walter Payton by calling him a pretty boy in headbands. I know you don’t have kids Bill. But I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to see their kids masked up off the bus looking like Michael Jackson’s kids on holiday in Bahrain. But the masks work. Woke bloke please. Masks work less than Melo running the Triangle Offense. Why hasn’t Melo become the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons yet? Name another NBA lifer responsible for stopping so much flowage. And doctors who refuse to treat unvaccinated patients aren’t doctors anymore. They’re wannabe George Clooney’s in stethoscopes who belong in Straight Jackets for acting like COVID depresses your immune system more than backend entry into the Dallas Buyer’s Club. Last, I don’t like interfaith families Bill. Not that my wife gives me a choice in the matter. The only thing I hate more than my kids being used as extras like the kids from Pink Floyd the Wall to feed the media manipulated narrative behind vaccinated lives mattering the most, are fucking Gnomes Bill. Gnomes look like Santa’s stoner slacker offspring in Succession. I had to give up taking edibles before I thought my daughter was asleep already because I’d feel like a mongoloid moron trying to answer her super deep questions on the stuff. She’d ask, “So daddy, if God created the universe. Then, who created God. I said, “God went back in time in a Time Machine, made my Elon Musk.” Daughter says, “That’s a real convincing explanation Daddy. Thanks for making me an atheist at 4.”

Michael Kornbluth

Greatest One

by doitalldadyear, posted in fiction, health, writing

When mommy says, “I miss you guys”, you can tell if its half-hearted bullshit or not. Did you really miss Samuel asking you to finish wiping his bum while you’re cleaning up for your date with Sarah? Did you really miss badgering the kids about whether Daddy reapplied sunscreen on them or not after their picnic after I picked them up from camp? Did you really miss rushing out of the house in 98-degree weather to get some snacks for a picnic that turned out to be one for just Matilda and her friends? One of them being the kid who lives next door to Bill Gate’s daughter. Who for a wedding gift was bequeathed a 22-acre farm under the condition that she turn it into a placenta smoothie retreat for Hollywood Actresses to practice equestrian therapy with. You haven’t lived until you threw back a placenta Smoothie with January Jones on the set of Mad Men. It provides nutrients for an anorexic baby in the making. So, let’s kick this spirit cooking party into full gear and invite Hillary Hammer Time Cankles to feast off magnums of Baby Jane from 62. But no “unusual” placentas Planned Parenthood or else they can’t demand top dollar by Bill Gates and friends. I know Marina what’s her name isn’t satanic, she’s a “performance artist”, because her interview with James Franco got published in the Wall Street Journal under the money and investing section for Spirit Cooking Schools for the rich and famous not advertised on LinkedIn. Recipes for liquid dinners are painted on the wall in blood. The first one is a mix fresh breast milk and fresh semen, none of this frozen shit from Walt Diseny and friends. Added directions include to only drink on earthquake nights although attending a live podcast by Megan Mccain, otherwise known as the Plop of Nothing gets the job done. You don’t think the DNC is controlled by demonic beasts in relation to Hillary Hammer Time Cankles, Snopes Salon? Have you seen Tony Podesta’s kiddie porn art collection draped on his fundraising walls? There’s enough pedo bondage pics on those walls to make Marilyn Manson blush. You don’t think the Wiki Leaks emails from the Podesta’s about pool time entertainment, with ages specified along with talk of kids being sent Ubers on top of various mentions of various pizza topping such as yum, yum sauce are enough reasons to give you hypertension for giving babysitting with the Podesta brothers a chance?

So were about to leave the “Picnic”, and the girl who lives next door to Bill Gate’s kid’s Placenta Smoothie Farm Retreat says, “Richard Gere is my neighbor to.” And in front of 2 parents there I say, “Those prayer beads didn’t come in red Gere.”

Michael Kornbluth

Hanging Low Scientists

by doitalldadyear, posted in health, humor, writing

This is the CDC throwing a retirement party for Dr. Fauci. “Hope you’re not sick of Gnocchi, Dr. Gnocchi. We got Mario Batali on the cheap. It was Gates idea to put caramelized grasshoppers on top. So, let’s raise our Placenta Stump Smoothies and toast the greatest loser streak off all time. How many hit vaccines were developed under your watch Dr. Gnocchi? An Aids blanket quilter on Pinterest down on road head since she got an itchy esophagus from long COVID ought to know.” Alanis Lives. Hanging Low Scientists, Challah. Thank you very much.

Back to the toast. “So, Dr. Gnocchi, if you’re goal was depopulation with the clot shot. Then, Mazel Tov, you and that four eyed snake Gates got what you wanted. Will the real modern-day Dr. Josef Mengele please retire his fuck face mug on CNN already? To the year of the Four Eyed Snakes. I hope Herschel Walker forgets about pumping your daughter with some MAGA teen spirit between 1000 more crunches with Fox News on the background while making Jungle Fever great again and says, “Too inclusive yet?” Hanging Low Scientists, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Democracy Declined

by doitalldadyear, posted in comedy, health, writing

Favorite nicknames for you know who in the White House are Mr. Groper, Icky Shuffle and Sir Snort A Lot’s Father.

I share these gems with a political cartoonist because he asked his mailing list if we had any favorite nicknames to share. So, I’d indulge the hick, got the house to myself for a change. Hours later, still no reply. I know he just left to go Trout fishing but still. I email back the following hour.

These a plus nicknames deserve an emoji ball tickle in return Ben. Print a cartoon about Trumpy Poo saying dick about all the millions and millions due to drop dead from the clot shot considering the thousands that have died from it so far.  Americans don’t know about soccer players dropping dead because none of us watch soccer, but still. RFK Junior lives, Challah. Thank you very much.

At the same time, Trump’s safe in Mar A Lago was just raided by the FBI. MSNBC wanted to call it a “Panty Raid”, hoping Melania would hide her gun in her panties like Karen in Goodfella’s in a remake of Revenge The Nerds Meets Married to The Big Tech Mob called, Net Zero Bush. So as Hillary Hammer Time Cankles would say, “What difference does it make?”

Oh yeah, Hillary’s 30 thousand deleted emails detailed funeral arrangements if Chelsea’s fiancé increased his asking price at the last sec. Democracy declined, Challah. RFK Junior for President. He wrote The Real Dr. Gnocchi, after Cuomo wrote a book on Leadership called How To Kill Italian Grandma Without Throwing Her Off The Train. Remember when Cuomo was still considered a sex symbol by Ben Stiller? Despite the Italian Reptilian Inside still looking like the Thing and Mama Fratelli from the Goonies had a baby. On the other hand, the newly unelected Governor of New York is no looker either. She looks like Delta Burke’s insane sister sentenced to the electric chair for refusing to say grace at The Judd’s house over Christmas while insisting, “Over my dead body. Jesus only saves the perfect cheekbones and mounds of tits for my big sis. For the people or my alien kind, my ass.” Democracy declined, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth