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Do It All Dad does another killer last joke podcast for the ages.
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I hate run-on sentence critics. It’s not my fault your slow and can’t keep up with my gender fluid flow.
Critical Race Theory is bullshit. Guaranteed money in the NBA, regardless of injury, is so oppressive.
The Muslim Sisterhood in congress don’t have an issue amplifying their voices in America either Jack.
Howard Beal was killed in the movie Network over lousy ratings. CNN’s worst nightmare come true.
British accents are unwelcome intrusive like Boris Johnson’s wife staring in my general direction.
Does Triple AAA offer ANTIFA roadblock assistance because the Proud Boys will do it free of charge?
Night screams mean you care about living. Or else you wouldn’t be afraid of dying before making it.
New York will come back, but everybody has left, except Free Palestine protestors and The Halal Guys.
Forcing kids to wear muzzles is wrong. Boris Johnson’s wife at the G-7 summit, not so much.
Jill Biden is a tacky, small town ho. Biden wears her panty hose when he can’t find his mask.
Masks are the new condoms only because I can’t cum in my wife wearing one either.
99 percent of people survive COVID yet Fuck Face Fauci, AKA, Dr. Gnocchi pushed endless lockdowns and triple masking of our kids while acting as if COVID depresses your immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyers Club.
Hydroxychloroquine can increase your survival rate by 200 percent. What’s up with that study Doc?
Still, Dr. Fauci used his power to block the use of it. He’s Dr. Kevorkian in reverse.
Biden is donating thousands of free COVID vaccines to Africa like a poor man’s Bill Gates who can’t code for shit either.
Sanctuary cities is encouraged lawlessness on crack.
1 kid only means, your diaphragm is for walls after all.
I’m against unlimited immigration because I’m not a proud member of the rapist enablement party.
If calling Baby Face Omar, a Jihad loving runt cunt, makes me alt-right, then I’m alright with that.
Where were you when Fox stopped counting the ballots? Thanking God JFK didn’t die for nothing. Yeah, me to.
IBM made technology to identify Jews for Nazis. Watson Supercomputer says, “No Sherlock.”
My mom texts me Happy Father’s Day on the wrong day. Her happiness for me knows no bounds.
Boris Johnson’s wife, woof, woof needs water breaks, not my son 2 minutes into basketball practice.
My wife wants me to get COVID to say, “You should’ve worn a mask going down on MAGA mom.”
Trump Won signs at MLB is my new favorite America pastime, after telling Lebron to go woke himself.
The Mueller Report court hearing proved what again? Mueller parts his hair with gritty, elbow grease.
Did Drago pop out of your voting booth and demand, “Vote Trump or I’ll break you.”
When the Statue of Liberty went dark. I bet DeBalsio forgot to pay the Con Ed Bill on time again.
I hate the term helping others unless you’re applying for a job that says help wanted.
Maintaining relationships is overrated among those who think Mr. Groper won by a hair alone.
My son is going to trade school to become a landscape artist. Because NYC will have to start from Ground Zero at this rate. Or he could become a furniture designer within his own private studio and avoid charges of sexual harassment because he’ll design his own state of the art safe space for jerking off. Or he could become programmer and work remote unlike those software engineers who were charged with sexual harassment pre-COVID, despite them leaving the impression that they were too busy banging out new code to hit on girls anyway. Plus, I thought only ugly girls went to coding boot camp. Also, don’t programmers wear those yenta breath noise canceling headphones at work for a reason. Last, the typical Pearl script command isn’t, “Massage my carpel tunnel ho.”
My daughter’s 4th grade teacher just made her classroom writer tutor. Parenting matters to.
Michael Kornbluth
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The Foo Fighters are playing Madison Square Garden’s first big concert post pandemic on June 20th in front of 20 thousand fans, immune to catching an itchy esophagus or any semblance of taste throughout their everlong, edgeless lives.
But Dave Grohl is one of the good guys bro. He’s an accessory to murder. If Kurt Cobain killed himself, Woody Allen stands a shot at winning father of the year.
If Frank Sinatra is Ronan Farrow’s father, then why isn’t Woody sleeping next to Secretariat?
Courtney Love is Mia Farrow with better husband selection.
Can you a get a fake news fake vaccine ID in Times Square? Or does domestic terrorist money payments in bitcoin no longer apply?
What if a MAGA groupie flashed her tits at Dave Grohl from the front row, before throwing a secret stash of hydroxychloroquine on the stage? Would she be banned from MSG for inciting a riot against good drugs, that would’ve saved plenty a name?
They’re been more than 5000 reported deaths from the alleged miracle non FDA approved vaccine designed to keep you safe from the made in Wuhan virus, financed by US tax dollars, thanks to Fuck Face Fauci’s use of gain of function research, designed to get you more than rabies from Chinese Bats. What happens when that number reaches 100,000? Will the Who be invited to play next year at MSG if they promise not to play We Won’t Get Fooled Again? Or was that Pete Townsend’s alibi when he got caught clicking on soapybottoms@moveon.org, in the name of opposition research for a song about Pizza Gate conspiracy theorists? Alex Jones lives. Thank you very much.
And if Michael Jackson were alive today Monique, how would he defend himself against his Neverland accusers? All the Beatles royalty points in the world can’t buy me love?
Michael Kornbluth
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