Unmasking Weird Weak Howard

Tyler Perry will be restarting production at his Atlanta studio in July. Resist this Hollywood, have fun being under lock down longer than Portia de Rossi.

If I could do it all over again, I would’ve hired a wise black grandma to replace my no-show Jewish Grandma for my wedding. All I had to do was a post an ad on Craig’s List, “Tyler Perry impersonators are welcome, but you must be comfortable performing in front of white audiences only.”

This is an impersonation of me instructing my son on how to avoid antisemitic backlash at school for whipping out the Dreidel at school during next Christmas season, “Arthur, if the Dreidel lands on Gimmel, don’t say give me all your money because we control the Federal Reserve and all the banks in the North Pole to.”

Trump supporter shaming is so hot right now. It worked so well the last time. Now, the Democrats are freeing rapists and pedophiles to register with Central Casting and offer more gift bags in hopes they’ll vote for Mr. Groper.

Howard Stern ‘s brain has gone to mush, and he can’t blame it on drug abuse, which is even more pathetic. Or maybe, he wasn’t too pointed deep in the 1st place, especially after dropping lines such as, “Trump had disdains for his voters, he’s really a star fucker at heart. What he loves his celebrities, not Joe the Plumber. You mean the same shallow, self-centered celebrities, who never pay for drinks, who for 3 years have been pretending to care about the safety and financial well being of their fellow Americans, 64 million branded racists in particular, because all they’ve done is shit on them ad nauseam, in the hope of trying to shame them into thinking they’re the racist, deplorable, sexist, pieces of shit they’ve become for acting like any opinion contrasting this fake news bullshit forced, maxed out narrative, is worthy of sedition despite their fake news Obama resistor disciple heroes and media mouthpiece lickers, being the real conning, perpetrators of corrupt, encouraged, divisive lawlessness, you dumb, perv protecting, China licking mooks.

Howard Stern hates Trump supporters for voting for Trump because the big bad, blond wolf has rendered weird, weak Howard, irrelevant. Not that Howard was even the King of Social media in the 1st place. But Howard has to give lip service to his ghoulish, tranny conjuring wife to ensure Jimmy Kimmel keeps inviting perm head over to his house for more 2 bite chicken parm dinners.

Trump has disdain for his voters. Then, why does still your president, work 17-hour days for free, when Melania’s around to role play with and throw on her Spies Like Us Mink hat in the nude whenever he likes?

I feel like such a hack for ever being enamored with weird, weak Howard. Knowing Collin Quinn would admit to listening to his show every day never helped. Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard you’re semi famous Collin, for mumbling pro Bush sentiment on Tough Crowd, during W’s never-ending war against Terror as long as radical Islamists kept fucking.

Weird, weak Howard Stern doesn’t hate Trump supporters, he hates how stupid they are for not siding with the party of Rape Wood, sanctuary cities and Hillary Hammer Time Cankles. And after all these years I thought Jackie the Joke Man was the most overpaid hack on the planet.

Side note, any self-admitted Republican gal, pre-Trump who takes offense at a Hillary Hammer Time Cankles reference, because they have “cankles to”, weren’t blessed with the chosen, funny Jew bone for a reason.

Memo to random Breitbart commentator, Christians name drop Jesus way more than your average loudmouth American Jew references his Jewish identity, and fuck you for insisting those proud Hebrews you do know in Ford country in Detroit allegedly, prefer to mind their business and just blend in like ham and cheese sandwiches at my kid’s elementary school, which never went out of style. Then again the ham and cheese sandwich never had a style.

I’m tired about hearing about what slave’s Hasidic woman are. They got Torah, huge families to lean on for company, including their fifty million kids, and Instant Pot cooker’s today to reduce their brisket cooking time by 8000 hours. Hindu’s have arranged marriages and didn’t Muhammad preach the practice of marrying kid wives? Knowing Muhammad’s follower’s fascination with virgins, you’d think the suicide bombing killing ones, ascending up to Allah’s virgin heaven allegedly, had enough blood on their hands already.

The enemy is the virus. I thought it was the army of the east who intentionally walled off Wuhan but allowed all outgoing flights to Milan because of their essential silk robe selling business.

Enough with scapegoating China. If they’re as pure as snow, then why is China resisting investigations into their handling of the Coronavirus more than Aquafresh?

Where’s Eminem these days? He doesn’t have any more Trump Nazi raps to share? Despite Trump lifting the lifetime ban on Jewish membership after he bought Mar-A-Lago, Slim on Facts Shady.

Michael Kornbluth

Why Kids Love Back


Because you turn your bed into a 24/7 open milk bar. Which cures any potential abandonment issue scars.

Because you show interest in their stories and don’t space out on them every two seconds like a super stoned Dory.

Because you play with them come rain or shine. Thinking to yourself, I can’t believe they’re real or mine.

Because you reward their good behavior with fancy treats whenever they’ve been fuss free and don’t wiggle once in their seats.

Because you draw deal boards which make their imaginations run wild like a wide eyed, dream on, I can do anything consumed child.

Because you make them feel like the most important center of your universe instead of the reverse.

Because when you say I love you it doesn’t feel manufactured hoarse like you’re forcing the issue to avoid a divorce.

Because you make an Open Sesame Humus Bagel Sandwich with muenster to give their lunch options for summer camp more zest. Knowing Do It All Dad refuses to settle for second best.

Michael Kornbluth


Sucking Off Scientists


Let the scientists lead. Make some CIA approved designer acid and drop it the water coolers at CNN and will really see Brain Stelter cry for forgiveness for absolving China of all evil doing in front of his maker.

Trump ignored the scientists. Which scientist, exactly, Jeff Fucking Goldblum in the a remake of the Fly, where Steve O tempts him to eat bat soup in one of his cloning experiments with Count fucking Dracula cereal made in China?

I’m so tired of the left propping up Scientists like Gods as they frame still your President Trump as the bible humping hick from Appalachia, who refuses to acknowledge logic or reason. Scientists aren’t kicking MS-13 out of your neighborhood either.

Let the scientists lead, yeah to follow the pay off money trail back to Great Wall to remain hush, hush about the super organized, never sketchy, always honest, intellectual property theft is their middle name Chinese.

Enough with Trump ignored the scientists. It’s not Quantum Physics, China spreads virus, locks it’s citizens at home with crow bars yet intentionally downplays the severity of it’s biochemical warfare, insisting, “It ain’t nothing but a duck wing on string.

Scientists should lead, not Trump. Why not let non-elected Political Scientists who have Ann Coulter sign their bibles to get them in the mood to debate chaos theory in relation to open borders and her PMS flaring next time Israel is mentioned during Trump’s SOTU.

Blaming China does no good. It only hurts the hand that feeds us says CNN, Apple, Facebook, the NBA, Microsoft, Hunter Biden’s cocaine slush fund provider.

Let the Scientists lead. What are the Scientists going to do? Besides, not locate a big dipper between President’s Zi’s zipper made in China.

This constant scientist suck off feast has to stop. Wife pitches me a scientifically proven, guided meditation to unclog my Chakras she heard on NPR. I say, “Does Bill Gates do it? Because siding with China isn’t achieving higher consciousness babe.”

Michael Kornbluth

The Larry King Replacement Bust

NFL Owners believe there will be football with or without fans. So business as usual then.

What’s the difference between Taylor Swift, J-Lo and Beyonce? Kayne West wouldn’t fuck any of them with Michelle Obama’s dick.

What was Piers Morgan bitching about on CNN today? Let me guess,Trump stopped following him on Twitter because he called Piers a Prince Harry licker? Or was it because Trump is closer to the Queen than the failed Larry King replacement bust will ever be?

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher launched a #Quarantine Wine. I thought she was the spokesperson for Jim Beam because Kid Rock already owns a Gulfstream. Whatever it takes for Ashton to get up for banging a teenage looking boy compared to Demi again.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher really did just launch their own #Quarantine wine. It won’t take the edge of watching the Tiger King’s boy toy blow his brains out but it will get you in the mood for streaming some more Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and talking real fast in no time.

Marriage tip, never accuse your wife who claims to abandon her dream of becoming a professional photographer to be a nurse, that her pictures with her high resolution smart phone are murky. Blame your overpriced Google phone, I bought for your birthday babe.

Trump will lose in a landslide because Americans will be voting for their lives Rob Reiner ? You let your son become a homeless crack head. Didn’t Al Franken joke about your father’s friends raping you? Isn’t Biden the Chinese controlled puppet has been breath?

Obama ruined everything.

Nikki Six identifies as a snow flake now.

Weird, weak Howard claims he was only a shock jock asshole for the ratings.

Michael Jordan sweats social media’s reaction to him punching #stevekerr despite him not being woke yet.

MJ being a ruthless killer winner, who led by example, shouldn’t be a news flash a gazillion years later. He had to go through the Bad Boys and dominate Ewing, Magic, Bird, and Hakeem to become the GOAT, not pass off to Ray Allen and team with D Wade.

Who cares if MJ punched #stevekerr? He also choked Reggie Miller and had Charles Oakley to protect him no matter what or had Sir Charles on window pushing through detail at the bar, if he lost large on darts and refused to pay up.

My mom sends me a b-day card that says, “It doesn’t lecture, advise or disapprove.” Can I send a fake news bullshit thank you note in return? Or should I be happy my mom showed smug, self-awareness for a day before she resumes hating me supporting Trump again.

Michael Kornbluth

The Coronavirus Birthday Special

Enough with Trump’s name on the checks. His name has been all over fucking New York City forever, pre-smart phones, 9/11 and Magic making HIV disappear. Stop acting like this a radical new departure from the past already.

Biden can’t remember the name of the #coronavirus or recall the year 9/11 happened. But Obama endorsed him because he was stoned watching Weekend at Bernies with Colin Kaepernick thinking, the CIA is pulling his strings anyway. We got this no matter what.

Everything is made in China, ventilators, the #coronavirus, Hunter Biden’s cocaine slush fund. But Trump should be impeached for questioning the source of those sketchy ties. Hunter thought he was getting paid to sell a new borscht sports energy drink.


Trump should put his name on all the body bags Leslie Jones? Yeah, 1st, you’re so not Wanda Sykes, so strop straining. 2nd, Obama let Chinese made fentanyl kill more crackers than Taylor Swift kicking it with Lena Dunham on Instagram. You better recognize.


Any hack celeb or politician who blames dead fathers, brothers, sisters and daughters on the big bad blond wolf versus blaming the Chinese who mislead the world about the #cornoravirus are batshit crazy pieces of shit. Their careers belong in body bags.