Springsteen on Qantas

Bruce Springsteen told Rolling Stone he’d move to Australia if President Trump beats little girl hair sniffer. But doesn’t the Boss realize Australia is in the midst of it’s 1st recession in 30 years? So a dashing looking millennial couple in Melbourne spending 500 bucks to see Bruce perform She’s The One loses it’s oomph, knowing he campaigned for Hillary Hammer Time Cankles satanic past, which proved baby boomer mom doesn’t know best.

I think Bruce Springsteen hates President Trump because he feels like a smaller big boss man in comparison. Plus, it kills him knowing President Trump is more beloved throughout the heartland than he was during his Nebraska album tour.

I love most of Bruce Springsteen’s music, especially the live version of Land of Hopes and Dreams at the MSG. But it’s hard to embrace the music from the same man who thinks President Biden will show China whose boss since China has resisted Corona investigations more than Aquafresh.

Also, doesn’t Bruce Springsteen realize Australia isn’t into open borders for anybody interested in taking dip within the land down under? I’m married to Green Card holding Aussie who was born in Brisbane, Australia, so I can move my family of 5 to Australia whenever I want, unlike the East Street bar band crooner cracker from Jersey. What, Bruce Springsteen dressed like a wannabe blue collar cracker on the cover of his Born In The USA album.

I don’t think Australia will take in Bruce. When I visited Australia during my honeymoon, I got pissed because most of the men were either close to my height or better looking than me, so Bruce’s overall appeal is severely limited there, knowing he barely clears John Stewart’s goat tee.

After I got my TV writing break with VH1 Classic, I made my producer a Bruce Mix, stating, “This doesn’t mean I have a crush on you boss.” The same applies to the man who wrote New York Serenade and Thunder Road. Infatuation with rock legends who can’t recognize real deal patriotic might or tell Rolling Stone to go woke itself in the midst of blatant coup to usurp the will of the American people are so off the list. Because unlike Pearl Jam, Green Day, Snoop, Eminem, Bob Seager and The Silver Bullet Band, this Trump Train was bound for everlasting glory.

Have fun riding your motorcycle in Australia Bruce. Jim Jefferies can interview you through zoom about QAnon and ask you about Hillary’s former campaign manager John Podesta’s pedo installation art work at his campaign headquarters home, which is enough to make Marilyn Manson blush.

Michael Kornbluth

Springsteen On Qantas

Bruce Springsteen told Rolling Stone he’d move to Australia if President Trump beats little girl hair sniffer. But doesn’t the Boss realize Australia is in the midst of it’s 1st recession in 30 years? So a dashing looking millennial couple in Melbourne spending 500 bucks to see Bruce perform She’s The One loses it’s oomph, knowing he campaigned for Hillary Hammer Time Cankles satanic past, which proved baby boomer mom doesn’t know best.

I think Bruce Springsteen hates President Trump because he feels like a smaller big boss man in comparison. Plus, it kills him knowing President Trump is more beloved throughout the heartland than he was during his Nebraska album tour.

I love most of Bruce Springsteen’s music, especially the live version of Land of Hopes and Dreams at the MSG. But it’s hard to embrace the music from the same man who thinks President Biden will show China whose boss since China has resisted Corona investigations more than Aquafresh.

Also, doesn’t Bruce Springsteen realize Australia isn’t into open borders for anybody interested in taking dip within the land down under? I’m married to Green Card holding Aussie who was born in Brisbane, Australia, so I can move my family of 5 to Australia whenever I want, unlike the East Street bar band crooner cracker from Jersey. What, Bruce Springsteen dressed like a wannabe blue collar cracker on the cover of his Born In The USA album.

I don’t think Australia will take in Bruce. When I visited Australia during my honeymoon, I got pissed because most of the men were either close to my height or better looking than me, so Bruce’s overall appeal is severely limited there, knowing he barely clears John Stewart’s goat tee.

After I got my TV writing break with VH1 Classic, I made my producer a Bruce Mix, stating, “This doesn’t mean I have a crush on you boss.” The same applies to the man who wrote New York Serenade and Thunder Road. Infatuation with rock legends who can’t recognize real deal patriotic might or tell Rolling Stone to go woke itself in the midst of blatant coup to usurp the will of the American people are so off the list. Because unlike Pearl Jam, Green Day, Snoop, Eminem, Bob Seager and The Silver Bullet Band, this Trump Train was bound for everlasting glory.

Have fun riding your motorcycle in Australia Bruce. Jim Jefferies can interview you through zoom about QAnon and ask you about Hillary’s former campaign manager John Podesta’s pedo installation art work at his campaign headquarters home, which is enough to make Marilyn Manson blush.

Michael Kornbluth

The Balling Basingers

Hailey Baldwin stars in Levi’s 2020 voting campaign. Whatever it takes to revive Alex Baldwin’s sagging sense of purpose, since the blue balls Mueller Report dropped. Imagine her mother Kim Basinger winning another Oscar for the remake of a Coal Miner’s Daughter, where she actually works in the coal mines themselves before becoming a country music star. Trump tweets: I made Kim Basinger great again, even with a bunch of shit on her face.

Michael Kornbluth

We Didn’t Start The Fire Billy

 

Vice President Mike Pence talking shit about Obama’s trade record during a campaign trip at a glass manufacturing company in Pennsylvania. VP Mike Pence says, “Obama presided over the most expansive outsourcing of manufacturing jobs in US history. He made W look like a serial slacker, with his feet hoisted high on the Oval Office Desk, kicking it, sipping more Coconut Water, without sweating your ability to put more God blessed pot roast on the table. Not even Billy Joel cared enough about your lost jobs during the Obama outsourcing era, to mine another gold record out of your easily avoidable misery for Christ sake. Sorry Lord, even Ned Flanders loses his cool from time to time. Billy says he’s not a big fan of President Trump, but Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits was lullaby music for 80’s Republicans. Plus, there weren’t just bused in new age Neo Nazi’s from Central Casting in Charlottesville that day but also peaceful protesters protesting the taking down of a statue of Robert E Lee, in addition to agitators from ANTIFA, who aren’t very fine people, in the mythical made up sense or not. Last, how does a member of ANTIFA respect thy mother on Mother’s Day exactly? Take out the trash and move out of her house for good? I thought New Yorkers like Billy Joel had stronger bull-crap detection abilities than this. Or is Billy from Yenta Breath Country in Long Island? And to quote the wise, God loving, Robert E. Lee, “There are few, I believe, in this enlightened age, who will not acknowledge that slavery as an institution is a moral and political evil.” So why don’t you be good American Billy and shine those lights on Broadway on how Fake News has become the moral and political evil of its day? Call yourself an Uber home, because I’m assuming your license is suspended, despite New York State giving them away for free to Illegal Aliens so the radical left can try to steal another election and make Michelle proud her of her country again, God forbid. Sorry again Lord, the Fakes News Media makes it hard to turn the other cheek. In honor of the great Kid Rock, can I get an Amen? I say, Amen.

Michael Kornbluth

Best Friend Israel Never Had

When you broker a peace treaty between Israel and the United Arab of Emirates, dismantle the nuke timeout deal with Iran and move our embassy to Jerusalem, it makes President Trump more of a Hebrew Nationalist. But black Hebrews can’t be anti-Jew because they’re the real chosen people according to Nick Cannon. Plus, in Nick Cannon’s defense, he isn’t another self-hating Jew hire to manage the post woke editorial board for the New York Times.

 

Michael Kornbluth

Who Trusts Iran?

Obama’s the one who loves Hitler. He wishes he was that organized. Mass extermination of all his pestering, hook nosed critics who questioned the staying power of Iran’s promise to take a time out from building nukes to blow Israel off the planet, whenever the mood strikes,  would be a gas. 

Michael Kornbluth