Just Shoot For Shit

It’s hard to block out the memory of your mom pushing you to become a garbage man, when you smell the back of a garbage truck thinking, “I guess my mom thought, I’ve been on shit removal detail since I become a stay at home dad. So I actually have on the job experience for a 6 figure job for once in my life. My father hates the expression Stay At Home Dad. He’d rather call me a sheltered bum. I would love to be classroom reader at my daughters school after getting fired for lumping the regular garbage with the recycling bins because I don’t give a shit about saving the earth anymore since the day Democracy died. I share a YA story about getting what you settle for called, Resist Settling For Shit. Then, I freak out my daughter’s teacher more with some Trump material and say, “Trump never changed his kids diapers because the piece of shit was too busy setting his 4 kids up for life. I wanna admit to never changing my kids diapers. It would mean I had my shit together for a change, instead of being a shadow banned stay at home comedian podcast host, whose been fired more than a Palestinian Sling Shot. I finally got a lit agent though for my upcoming book The Koshertarian Comedian. I’m a paraphrasing here kids, but Frank Zappa said, if your life becomes shit because you listened to your parents shitty advice. Then, it’s your fault for respecting their shitty advice to begin with. Don’t just shoot for shit or else you’ll never know what it feels like to be number one because American exceptionalism never dies, USA, USA, USA.

Michael Kornbluth