When mommy says, “I miss you guys”, you can tell if its half-hearted bullshit or not. Did you really miss Samuel asking you to finish wiping his bum while you’re cleaning up for your date with Sarah? Did you really miss badgering the kids about whether Daddy reapplied sunscreen on them or not after their picnic after I picked them up from camp? Did you really miss rushing out of the house in 98-degree weather to get some snacks for a picnic that turned out to be one for just Matilda and her friends? One of them being the kid who lives next to Bill Gate’s daughter. Who for a wedding gift was bequeathed a 22-acre farm under the condition that she turn it into a placenta smoothie retreat for Hollywood Actresses to practice equestrian therapy with. You haven’t lived until you threw back a placenta Smoothie with January Jones on the set of Mad Men. It provides nutrients for an anorexic baby in the making. So, kick this spirit kicking party into full gear and invite Hillary Hammer Time Cankles. Huma Licker Breath will be all smiles around celebrity kids, especially the adopted ones from Hati that Gates bought to sample experimental Monkeypox vaccines on because she’s just getting warmed for dessert. I know Marina what’s her name isn’t is only a satanic “performance artist”, because her interview with James Franco got published in the Wall Street Journal under the money and investing section for Spirit Cooking Schools for the rich and famous not advertised on LinkedIn. Recipes are painted on wall in blood. The first recipe is a mix fresh breast milk with fresh sperm. Added directions include to only drink on earthquake nights although attending a live podcast by Megan Mccain, otherwise known as the Plop of Nothing gets the job done. You don’t think the DNC is controlled by demonic beasts in relation to Hillary Hammer Time Cankles Salon? Have you seen Tony Podesta’s kiddie porn art collection draped on his fundraising walls? There’s enough pedo bondage pics on those walls to make Marilyn Manson blush. You don’t think the Wiki Leaks emails from the Podesta’s about pool time entertainment, kids being sent Ubers and various mentions of pizza and yum, yum sauce are enough to give you hypertension for giving baby sitting at the Podesta bachelor pad a chance?
So were about to leave the “Picnic”, and I hear the girl whose parents live next to Bill Gate’s daughter’s estate state, “Richard Gere is my neighbor to.” And in front of 2 other parents there I say, “Those beads didn’t come in red gear.” Big Stinger Day, Challah. Thank you very much.
Michael Kornbluth
Do It All Dad Year Podcast Blog 