Maui Wowie Mania

Did you know that Paul McCartney’s most romantic song is about weed? Got to get you into my life, was about running out of weed again. Fuck Linda’s avocado toast. Bean curd wasn’t getting Yellow Submarine finished. The 1st side of the Beatles Record Revolver is a total bummer because Paul’s out of weed again. Why else would they open their 6th album with a song about a tax man when they already had more money than God? Paul was just pissed at his accountant because he refused to write off his extra wide rolling papers as an office expense. He had the same accountant as George Harrison. That’s why Paul told John to let George sing his song Taxman to open Revolver with. Channeling the ebullient joy derived from falling in love with Linda’s tofu scramble was the furthest thing from Paul’s bummer mind at the start of Revolver man. Second song on Revolver, Eleanor Rigby, makes Pet Sounds feel like a feel good movie of the week on the Hallmark Channell or Poison’s greatest hits like Nothing But A Good Time on Prozac. I don’t think the song Eleanor Rigby is a song about all the lonely people and where they all come from. Paul isn’t talking about lonely cat ladies on the Upper West Side. He’s talking about all the friendless potheads who consider pot and rock and roll, their best friends till the very end. Jim Morrison rises again, Challah. Thank you very much.

Finally, on side 2, Paul is popping boners again on the song Gooday Sunshine because his Dealer just delivered him 5 ounces of Maui Wowie to his flat in Notting Hill. And he can tune out Linda’s wailing on about how they don’t dry hump enough trees anymore. Since they stopped touring and shacked up in Abby Road Studios from 1962 to 1970. But at the start of the Revolver on side 2, the entire band were in high spirits again with Linda not around to hock any of her mock meat meat pies. And it was goodbye Linda. Gooday sunshine, especially after John forced Yoko to hand over her last brick hash from Nepal for a merry Christmas and happy new year.

Maui Wowie mania shines on, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Miss Kitty Society

I’m against bumper stickers that say, “My cat voted Democrat”, because cats are fiercely independent besides their overreliance on certain entitlements like Fancy Feast. Did the heads of all 5 cat families agree to go on strike if Fancy Feast wasn’t the Trust Fund Cat chow of choice? Are there lobbyists for big pharma that get kickbacks for spicing that shit with Dandelion green extract mixed with Indica red essence or what?

My cat voted Democrat sounds more contrived lonely than the Women’s March on Washington after Pussy Grabber got elected because Hillary failed to sell 75 million branded racists on why Baby Boomer Mom knows best. I thought Hillary lost because she’s an unhuggable cunt, my bad. Huma Licker Breath, must have had her minions delete that memo to. I don’t know about you but when I saw the Women’s March on Washington. All I saw, was a whole lot of Rosies sporting a whole lot of chins, Madonna’s blown up camel toe snatch dragged from the occupied territory and back, included.

Call the Midwife, how many episodes can they make babe? How many English women are homely hot enough to get knocked up by mistake exactly? Pussy magic lives, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Gen X Masturbation Record

Do It All Dad gets you off long time with #GenXMasturbationRecordComedyRecord129

Killer Set for 9/18/22

True Detective Moment 

Far From Slacking 

Perfect Swishes 

Love Juice Lore 

Cinco De Mayo Mope 

Pulling For Howl Master 

Sweet Summer’s Gone 

No More Mr. Sly Guy 

Punisher Light 

Titanium Balls 

Nazi Rock Historian 

Clinton Groupies Moaning 

Dr. Seuss Is Tony Robbins For Kids 

Manhandling The Truth