Beyonce Sitting Out The National Anthem

Beyoncé sitting out  the National Anthem during the Super Bowl, when J Lo put her kids in fake news cages and banged a stripper pole hoping Ben Affleck would drunk dial her again. Meanwhile, the Queen of England is watching the Superbowl on the Teli, 2 gin and tonics in and says to her royal bartender, “And I thought Meghan Markle was a royal pain the ass.

Michael Kornbluth

What The Hell is Attachment Parenting?

What the hell is Attachment Parenting dude? It’s turning your bed into a 24/7 open milk bar for the foreseeable future, which isn’t the biggest deal in the world, knowing your sweaty sex period with your girlfriend now wife, only lasts one month max anyway, when your bang, bang bed, actually elevates, defying all laws of gravity, considering your perpetual poundage of her snugger snatch of yesteryear.

Michael Kornbluth

 

What Gen X Parents Understand

Daughter says, “Mama got me a puberty book .” I say, “But you’re only 9. At 15, I was the last kid to get into the puberty party and bloom under his Fruit of the Looms.  But don’t worry Tilly, if you take after mama, you won’t be weighed down by busty beauties like Jennifer Tilly.

Michael Kornbluth

Swimming With Biden

Biden skinny dipping in his DE estate home, surrounded by a bunch of female Secret Service agents.

Biden boasts, “Told, you I was bigger than Boogie Boarder, in the pool or out. Shrinkage ain’t got shit on me.” If you support Trump, it means you ain’t blacker than my super soaker babe.”

 

Michael Kornbluth