Defending The Fake News Catholic

Jiff Gaffigan trying to defend Joe Biden’s honor is adorable. Would Mr. ironic detachment still act so nonchalant boorish if such an upstanding Catholic by name only, sniffed his daughter’s hair on the hunt for Easter Eggs in the White House Garden to? Know your lane Jimbo, and stick to being an edgeless, wannabe city slicker hick from Indiana. Jared Kushner helped spearhead a peace treaty between Israel and The Unite Arab of Emirates. Doesn’t your wife write half your jokes? What did you do this year? Write another book of essays about how your kids never give you enough time to sample more jokes on your wife, that she’s punching up for you in the 1st place anyway.

Trump’s a con man, Trump’s a rapist. What does Bill Cosby’s family friendly dentist drilling material of yesteryear have to do with it? There’s no such thing as Trump Derangement Syndrome? Anyone who believes in the Deep State is a racist, dumb rube? And Joan Rivers thought you were jealous inducing funny. Have you seen John Podesta’s pedo art installation exhibit under Google Images? It’s enough to make Marilyn Manson blush, you puppet pawn, blubbery bitch, who can’t deal with Trump coming up with nicknames funnier than any bit you ever did on lobster bug meat. No wonder the world will always remember you as the substantive free, hack comic for hire.

Michael Kornbluth

Bank on Bette Getting Dem Ol’ Blues

Joe Biden calling the Democratic Party a unifying force is like calling the Clinton Foundation a charity for others. And Julia Louis Dreyfus could’ve been Joan Rivers if she stuck to Stand Up. Let’s just accuse President Trump of being a non discriminatory horn dog like Bill, whose allergic to high end trim. Next, still your President Trump through 2024, will give the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Bette Midler for her contribution to making Drag Queen Reading Hour great again, inspiring Drag Queens to show their faces in public during broad daylight, under unforgiving fluorescent library lights knowing, they don’t look as flattering without wearing such heavy makeup. If President Trump is feeling more than generous than usual, he’ll even invite the Chipmunk Chucker from Golden State and the rest his family to the White House for his post inauguration winning ball, after he wins the popular vote and the electoral this time to prove that Ray Allen light in the clutch department to, should’ve left his fake news persecuted existence, being a son of NBA royalty back in San Francisco, where Janis got out when the getting was good, so cry, cry baby.

Michael Kornbluth

Netflix To The Rescue

In a Netflix doc in honor, which she produced, Michelle Obama says, “She conceded her dreams after having 2 children. But she paid her mom a White house salary to look after her 2 kids, so what was Michelle prevented from doing exactly? But social justice was served when Netflix showered her with a lavish production deal, to make up for her systematic, oppressive existence. Sorry, if I haven’t rushed to see the documentary in her honor yet, What’s Talent Got To Do With It, to justify her multi-million dollar production deal with Netflix, despite her absence of TV and film development experience on her IMDB page prior. Having her daughter Malia intern for Miramax one summer as a production assistant doesn’t count.¬† ¬†Also, I’m all for amplifying diverse voices but I don’t think BLM is facing many issues on this front, especially when they’re camped out in front of those white devil suburbanites, in Seattle, demanding, “Give us your homes, open your wallets and not the one for that bitcoin shit either, You sleepless in Seattle now, motherfucker.”

Michael Kornbluth

Brainwashed Shaming Losing Its Oomph

Facebook took down a live stream of front line Doctors telling Americans no kids are dying of Covid, not one teacher has caught Covid from their students and hydroxchloroquine has actually cured fat fucks with Covid, who already have diabetes or capable of being Meghan McCain’s spirit eating animal. Last, the Houston doctor Stella Immanuel whose cured 300 plus patients with Covid through hydroxchloroquine insists, “Face Masks aren’t even necessary to stop the transmission of the virus”, regardless if Andy Dick coughed into your Wheatgrass smoothie at Jamba Juice or not. And curing Covid patients with hydroxchloroquine has nothing do with Fuck Face Fauci’s expertise or myth debunking proclamations like denying the Chinese have resisted investigations into the source of the Corona China Virus more than Aquafresh.

But Zit Face Zuck and Twitter Twat Dorsey removed the viral video because it was sharing false information because the big bad blond wolf shared it with his 82 million branded racist followers, who aren’t the actual the ones doing everything in their power to discredit a black female doctor, who originally hails from Nigeria. Instead, all the media fetch dogs at CNN and within the halls of congress with Denture Breath Pelosi, are doing their darndest to keep our economy on life support as our cities burn to the ground all in the name of righting systematic racism, which makes total sense after America elected the fake news hopeful one twice, while guaranteed money still exists for China siding NBA players at large, which is a tad ignorant, don’t you think Pop? I got 2 words for you Eddie Curry, case closed.

So the brainwashed shaming stab loses its oomph, especially when CNN is insisting all of these front line doctors, including a pediatrician from fucking Santa Monica of all places, were all wearing fake news lab coats in front of the White House and giving opinions all contrary to some no name study, most likely endorsed by the WHO, who most Gen X parents like myself could give 2 BB Eight Shits about it. So go woke yourself, because this Trump Train is bound for glory.

Michael Kornbluth