The Brainwashing Projectors

How does Fox or Breitbart have a monopoly on so called brainwashing? For almost 4 years, Google, Twitter, ABC, NBC, CNN, ESPN, Facekbook, holier than now NPR included, has done nothing but perpetuate blatant lies like the Russian collusion tale with less legs than Lieutenant Dan, the sham impeachment trial, for the President questioning why Hunter was getting paid 50 grand week to push Borscht as the new Kombucha or blame President Trump not China for making a commie made virus to kill our recording breaking economy in one swoop. All lies, to wrestle back power in order to avoid prosecution and hide the real crimes of a failed coup to remove still your President Trump and real life election interference by illegally spying on the Trump campaign when he was running against Hillary Hamme Time Cankles in addition to bankrupting and shitting all over General Flynn’s name, a former Democrat by the way, because Obama didn’t like the fact how he disapproved of the fake news hopeful one gifting Iran, the number one sponsor of terrorism in the world, 150 billion to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal products for the Kardashians, which has zero to do with Drago popping up in election booths 4 years ago, declaring vote Trump or I’ll break you.

Michael Kornbluth

Batshit Crazy Pelosi

Batshit Crazy Pelosi sent a Chinese bat into our house to take me out for insisting on social media how the Chinese Community Party has resisted investigations into the source behind the Coronavirus more than Aquafresh.  My wife insisted we get vaccine shots to prevent us from getting Chinese Corona Rabies from the bat just breathing dead dog on us in our sleep.

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

Condemning Fake News Boomer Moralists

 

My not my President father, says, “Mayor De- Blasio should be hung.” I said, “So your condemning the laser blinding of cops, setting cop precincts on fire and throwing more than sparklers at a Federal courthouse in Portland by you know who?” Dad says, “What hell are you talking about? I’m talking about New York City. I say, “Sanctuary city lawlessness, with zero bail, who instructs their police to stand down is all the same and points the moral arc toward hellishness on earth. But keep on thinking you’re on the right side of the history in honor of Obama Be Good, Boomer.  My mom actually had the gaul to tell me to my face, Lyndon Johnson was a “great president.” Because he was recorded in the White House while perpetuating the draft and the Vietnam War, the most pointless war ever, saying the Great Society would make the sure the n people vote democrat for the next 200 years. Well, the times are changing ma, and you’re backing a candidate who talks down to black reporters like crackheads who bang their dead brother’s widow because Hunter’s libido matters most.

Baby Boomers Resist Quarantines To

Wife asks, “Why are your parents not quarantining themselves?” They’re not supposed to leave their home for anything for 2 whole weeks. They can be fined 10 thousand dollars you know. I say, “Because they’re staying in a cottage in Dutchess County, Hizzonner defunded the police and can’t afford 24/7 Gestapo watch outside of the Island of Manhattan. Plus, even my resister boomer parents, respect Bill De Blasio’s authority less than Trump supporters respect polling numbers, since the NY Times predicted Hillary Hammer Time Cankles would waltz into the White House with the assistance of an Iron Lung, despite 64 million branded racists voting different, proving baby boomer mom doesn’t know best.  The Drunken Deplorable Druid must have deleted that memo to.

Michael Kornbluth

 

The Worst Beard Mayor Of All Time

Mayor De Blasio’s wife used to be a hardcore lesbian yet were supposed believe Garlic Breath converted her? Hizzoner eats pizza with a fork and knife. So, do you really see Big Bird eating her out without a mask on, with such sudden, sloppy abandon?

Michael Kornbluth

Do It All Dads Buy Dolls They’d Do

If my son played with his sister’s fully naked Ken Doll, I’d tell him to wrap Ken’s peckerwood with seaweed, before taking a midnight dip into Polynesian Barbie.  I wish the WWE made the Charlotte Flair action figure fuller on top like she is in real life because Do It All Dad’s buy dolls they’d do. Buying my son, a Ronda Rousey action figure offers zero appeal to me because I don’t see my son choking one out on her behalf either.

Michael Kornbluth

True Lincoln Log Story, Google It,

True, Lincoln Log story, Google it. My great, great, great grandfather, Austin Gollaher, saved his boyhood bud Abraham Lincoln from drowning, yet nobody ever heard of him and he couldn’t rub 2 pennies together before he died a broke down, never was.  Because when Abe was drowning to death in the river because he slipped on a log while crossing Knob Creek to rush back in time for supper or miss out on more Raccoon soup, a 7 year old Abe, had a vision of  liberating the black man from slavery but had his friend Austin promise to never tell anyone about him almost drowning to death because Abe couldn’t let the black man know he was a worst swimmer than they. What a gyp?  Poor Austin never got to cash in on the greatest Presidential save after JFK kept Marilyn warm for Bobby.   My great, great, great grandfather, Austin Gollaher was a man of his word and never told anyone about saving Abe’s life until after his assassination, but he had to have been tempted from time to time, especially at the local moonshine shack on a Friday night, when the circus was in town and the famous circus Elephant Old Bet got all the peanuts he can eat. Meanwhile, my great, great, great Grandfather Austin Gollaher, stares down his last sip of 200 proof White Lightning, thinking, “ Hillbilly lives don’t matter much anymore.”

Michael Kornbluth

Our Post Woke Plagued Universe

California Governor Gavin Newsom  is set to release up to 18,000 prisoners by the end of August to slow the spread of COVID.  Can’t the Correction Officers just raid their cells for smokes and call it a day? That’s right, Nancy Denture Breath Pelosi is decrying weed as a miracle drug to cure Covid, despite the disease responsible for puncturing holes through lungs, requiring lung transplants among certain Covid carriers as young as twenty years old. So what’s the difference?

Michael Kornbluth