Lenny Bruce Lives

Woody Allen calling himself a hands-off parent is like the Pope giving a Ted Talk on how to micromanage pedophilia. Career resurgence or not, Carmelo Anthony should be the spokesperson for Tampax Tampons. Name another NBA player, responsible for stopping so much flowage. Why don’t I believe in Global Warming? Because Al Gore’s speaking career has cooled considerably. Other would argue, it’s colder than Harvey Weinstein’s old casting couch at the Four Seasons. I just read about an all-girl Muslim prom in Detroit. So, the prom was like mine, pork free. Vermont should change their state motto from the Green State to CBD Oil Only. Bernie Sanders couldn’t even make Vermont great for potheads on vacation. Are dudes in college today being charged with unwanted dry humping, without due process?  If so, I’m for the female accuser having to look her assaulter’s fleshy head wound in the face, to see who the real victim is in this case. Bean Breath Oliver on Last Week Tonight insists ANTIFA isn’t a nationally recognized terrorist organization. And Judd Apatow is the Chief Happiness Officer for Breitbart. Michael Kornbluth

Curious About George

There’s talk about canceling Curious George now because of racial associations embedded in the story, George Avoids Aids, about a white guy in the yellow 10-gallon hat who saves an African Monkey from getting AIDS from the CIA, after making a bet with the CEO of Planned Parenthood to see who could exterminate more hoop dreams before they got off the ground.

Cancel Curious George, yet who on the left would take offense to a remake titled Bi-Curious George? Targeted toward sexually confused hipster spawn reared on Lou Reed records.

The husband wife team who created Curious George were a Jewish couple who fled Germany on a self-made bike. But some miserable Twitter Twat dares to accuse these authors of peddling picture books for white supremacists on 4chan today? Curious George Gets A Job doesn’t feed into the narrative of systematic racism. So that’s a solid reason to go ape shit online and shit over our kids age of innocence, as if wearing masks at school like they’re on vacation with Michael Jackson in Bahrain isn’t depressingly dreary with no end in sight already.

Curious George flies a kite isn’t a racist. You’d think the title was Jamal’s older brother is high on shitty commercial weed in the project hallways before the school bus arrives in the am again.

Curious George learns the alphabet in Ebonics was never written, although I think Nas could reinvent himself as child book author and give it a shot.

Curious George goes to the Pizza Party, hosted by Danny Aiello, in Do The Right Thing, when he starts dropping N bombs because Radio Rahim played Public Enemy too loud for his taste out of the freaking blue, despite most Italians being proud members of the loud mouthed bleacher creatures throwing batteries at opposing players in right field in the old Yankee Stadium before the new one was built, otherwise known as the House That Gentrification Built.

Curious George goes to the hospital from drive by gun shot wounds for wearing his customary red top while cruising through south central to pick up some discount rims for the man in the yellow brimmed pimp hat, for an upcoming 70’s fly guy, Pimp costume party for Halloween was never published either, unless Snoop Dog retells the story to his kids that way, because that’s how the sticky icky king of green puff la rap rolls.

It’s Curious George Goes To The Baseball Game, not Curious George dominates the baseball game, smacks 3 homers in the World Series, doing his best Mr. October impersonation, while Pete Rose places a bet on how many N bombs Marge Schott dropped in rapid succession after uppity, erudite, hyper articulate, clutch hitting Reggie went yard for his 3rd.

Curious George Goes To The Movies and is louder than Busta Rhymes at a midnight showing of Higher Learning would make a funny kid picture book though.

Curious George Visits the Dentist and samples some Bill Cosby material should be a non-divisive topic embraced by all, stating, “Female Dragon flies act dead, to avoid sexual assault from male dragon flies. Bill Cosby victims call this wishful thinking.”

Michael Kornbluth

Dr. Seuss Is Tony Robins For Kids

Dr. Seuss’s illustrations are steeped in harmful stereotypes they say. But I don’t recall him drawing a picture of BLM protestors looting the Gucci store, who refuse to pay.

Dr. Seuss drew a picture of a topless African in a grass shirt. He’s a racist then, it’s set. But I didn’t know Fubu was in fashion yet.

Has anybody complained about the hooked nosed, Goblin Bankers in Harry Potter yet? You know Mel Gibson was overjoyed with that movie set. Did JK Rowling, think, I’m hiring Mel Gibson as the set designer on my flick, Mel being a throbbing Jew hater dick, makes him my automatic number one pick.

What if I don’t care for Green Eggs and Ham? This means what, I hate the Irish race and refuse to play beer bong with them at such a rapid fire pace? Or does it mean, I insist on watching Irish movies with subtitles because of the funny way they sound, while also refusing to unfold my arms and dance in junior high to more Jump Around?

Dr. Seuss drew pictures of Asians eating with chopsticks, how sick. It’s worse than drawing a picture of Cardi’s B dropping her slippery chopsticks into her cum bucket, full of other forgotten stuffing’s in there like a lost lost chicken nugget.

What happens in the book, And To Think I Saw It on Mulberry St? Did Sonny and his crew beat up a bunch of rowdy bikers on the street, because they sprayed beer on the bartender and should’ve stuck to ordering their drinks neat? Wait a minute that happened in the Bronx Tale. American made mafia tales about the working man can’t be beat. I only wish Chazz Palminteri’s acting career, still packed so much heat.

Dr. Seuss is the Tony Robins for kids, who continues to inspires millions of kids to keep fighting for their dreams, instead of recommending they watch, 13 Reasons Why, whenever they feel their lives are falling apart at the seams.

Dr. Seuss was right. There is fun to be done and games to win. Just stop playing the victim, give Twitter a time out or just dump your tablet into the trash bin.

Michael Kornbluth

Dr. Seuss Is Tony Robbins For Kids

Dr. Seuss’s illustrations are steeped in harmful stereotypes they say. But I don’t recall him drawing a picture of BLM protestors looting the Gucci store, who refuse to pay.

Dr. Seuss drew a picture of a topless African in a grass shirt. He’s a racist then, it’s set. But I didn’t know Fubu was in fashion yet.

Has anybody complained about the hooked nosed, Goblin Bankers in Harry Potter yet? You know Mel Gibson was overjoyed with that movie set. Did JK Rowling, think, I’m hiring Mel Gibson as the set designer on my flick, Mel being a throbbing Jew hater dick, makes him my automatic number one pick.

What if I don’t care for Green Eggs and Ham? This means what, I hate the Irish race and refuse to play beer bong with them at such a rapid fire pace? Or does it mean, I insist on watching Irish movies with subtitles because of the funny way they sound, while also refusing to unfold my arms and dance in junior high to more Jump Around?

Dr. Seuss drew pictures of Asians eating with chopsticks, how sick. It’s worse than drawing a picture of Cardi’s B dropping her slippery chopsticks into her cum bucket, full of other forgotten stuffing’s in there like a lost lost chicken nugget.

What happens in the book, And To Think I Saw It on Mulberry St? Did Sonny and his crew beat up a bunch of rowdy bikers on the street, because they sprayed beer on the bartender and should’ve stuck to ordering their drinks neat? Wait a minute that happened in the Bronx Tale. American made mafia tales about the working man can’t be beat. I only wish Chazz Palminteri’s acting career, still packed so much heat.

Dr. Seuss is the Tony Robins for kids, who continues to inspires millions of kids to keep fighting for their dreams, instead of recommending they watch, 13 Reasons Why, whenever they feel their lives are falling apart at the seams.

Dr. Seuss was right. There is fun to be done and games to win. Just stop playing the victim, give Twitter a time out or just dump your tablet into the trash bin.

Michael Kornbluth

The Oliver Twat Twist

Jon Stewart minus east coast charisma, a handsome mug or any parcel of distinguished grey, otherwise known as bean breath Oliver on Last Week Tonight, insists the the 2 month old riots in Portland have been”mostly peaceful”, where law officers are being blinded by lasers and ducking Molotov Cocktails while protecting the People’s Court of Portland from turning into Burning Man meets ANTIFA on Crystal Meth.  If I had any respect for the violent demonstrations of unrestrained anarchy from ANTIFA, BLM, or encouraged lawlessness from Don Lemon’s float like a butterfly lisp, I’d share my parents HBO Go code to a radical WI-FI Bank in need, because I’ve got no reason to support this fake news chill pill spiel, knowing all the leftist media lionizing behind sanctuary cities and nonstop white washing of violence and destruction caused by punisher vigilantes in hoodies in Charlottesville and beyond, which started this around clock resistance to law and order, since Hillary Hammer Time Cankles lost in the 1st place, despite getting the debate questions in advance because America doesn’t care for Godless, pretentious, unhuggable cunts, unless they rock cute sweaters and tell edgless jokes on day time TV for a living, who are pro Bush, right Ellen? What does Ellen do with her friend W exactly? Invite W over to her estate with Michelle Obama to play Operation, Pre-Op Edition, while Portia De Rossi poses nude for some late night painting,  if W promises to paint her with a machete hacking off her privileged clit, because he wanted to make Michelle proud of her country again, after Ellen refused to wash her stink box for a whole year without Paltrow’s Guava Mist, despite her air of superiority embedded in it’s branding, inside and out. 

Michael Kornbluth

Fake News Christians Aren’t Charitable

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad pitches his new book The Great American Jew Novel to his wife’s friend.

Wife

It’s very Jewy.

Do It All Dad

Jews don’t have a monopoly on being stingy with emotive praise either.

But I’m glad my ultra Jewy, unapologetic title has you 2 non-believing gentiles clutching for the comfort from the missing crucifix around your necks.

Michael Kornbluth