The Oliver Twat Twist

Jon Stewart minus east coast charisma, a handsome mug or any parcel of distinguished grey, otherwise known as bean breath Oliver on Last Week Tonight, insists the the 2 month old riots in Portland have been”mostly peaceful”, where law officers are being blinded by lasers and ducking Molotov Cocktails while protecting the People’s Court of Portland from turning into Burning Man meets ANTIFA on Crystal Meth.  If I had any respect for the violent demonstrations of unrestrained anarchy from ANTIFA, BLM, or encouraged lawlessness from Don Lemon’s float like a butterfly lisp, I’d share my parents HBO Go code to a radical WI-FI Bank in need, because I’ve got no reason to support this fake news chill pill spiel, knowing all the leftist media lionizing behind sanctuary cities and nonstop white washing of violence and destruction caused by punisher vigilantes in hoodies in Charlottesville and beyond, which started this around clock resistance to law and order, since Hillary Hammer Time Cankles lost in the 1st place, despite getting the debate questions in advance because America doesn’t care for Godless, pretentious, unhuggable cunts, unless they rock cute sweaters and tell edgless jokes on day time TV for a living, who are pro Bush, right Ellen? What does Ellen do with her friend W exactly? Invite W over to her estate with Michelle Obama to play Operation, Pre-Op Edition, while Portia De Rossi poses nude for some late night painting,  if W promises to paint her with a machete hacking off her privileged clit, because he wanted to make Michelle proud of her country again, after Ellen refused to wash her stink box for a whole year without Paltrow’s Guava Mist, despite her air of superiority embedded in it’s branding, inside and out. 

Michael Kornbluth

Fake News Christians Aren’t Charitable

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad pitches his new book The Great American Jew Novel to his wife’s friend.

Wife

It’s very Jewy.

Do It All Dad

Jews don’t have a monopoly on being stingy with emotive praise either.

But I’m glad my ultra Jewy, unapologetic title has you 2 non-believing gentiles clutching for the comfort from the missing crucifix around your necks.

Michael Kornbluth