Stalling For The Tooth Fairy

Why didn’t the Tooth Fairy take my tooth daddy? And where’s my money already? It was a busy weekend for MMA fighters and fans in attendance alike.

My tooth is under my pillow Dada. And still no money donations from the tooth fairy. The Rock must be sleeping in for a change.

Is the Tooth Fairy on vacation or what Dada? Why don’t we watch the rest of Jerry Maguire. And be thankful you don’t have to look at those grown up chompers every morning sunshine.

My tooth is still under my pillow dada. And there’s no money there either. You know how your brother always sleeps on different sides of the bed? And how Daddy is always misplacing his keys. That bitch better hurry up already.

Is the Tooth Fairy retired? I hear he was looking at some homes in Scottsdale, Arizona next to Mimi and Papa. No wonder it’s taking the Tooth Fairy so long to get here. Arizona is such a schlep.

Dady, is the Tooth Fairy is missing in action. The Tooth Fairy hooked you up with a 5 spot last year. It was like a down payment for future losses.

Daddy, why didn’t the Tooth Fairy hook me up last night? I hear there’s a major Crystal Meth epidemic in nearby Mahopac.

Daddy, is the Tooth Fairy fake news like the Russian Dossier? Of course not. The Tooth Fairy gave you 5 dollars last time. I know. And those 20 candy rings only made me lose 1 tooth. I’m feeling short changed Dada.

Dada, give it to me straight. Is the Tooth Fairy fake news like influential Russian election interference? Um. Unlike the Wicked Witch of the East Hillary. I can handle the truth. Give me 20 now and I’ll never tell Arthur, deal?


The End


Michael Kornbluth