Limitations Of Love

INT. Record Shop

Do It All Dad

The 2 things I love, good Hair Metal and stand up comedy records are in less supply than non pretentious record buyers who just came back from Europe breaking their luggage for loading up on records overseas.

 

INT. Jewelry Store

Owner

You’re a riot.

Customer

Are you a comedian?

Do It All Dad

You think I’m plucking A plus gems like this from the sky?

Situation: Call Pandora Do you sell Mezuzah’s?

What’s a Mezuzah?

A decorative case with Hebrew lettering on it, testing my wife’s comfort level with advertising our family’s Jewishness on our door posts next time her gentile parents visit.

INT. Deli

Do It All Dad

A quarter pound of yellow american cheese because my wife felt compelled to say, she hates it when it get’s all clumped together. Despite her having nothing to do with breaking my fast. This is my f your collusion purchase.

INT. HOME

Daughter

I think I might have outgrown my Barbies.

Do It All Dad

You’re just burnt on playing with them.

Daughter

Is that why you avoid mom as much as you can? I mean, nobody writes writing alone that much.

 

INT. HOME

Do It All Dad

The Mezuzah’s were very reasonable.

Wife

They better be.

Do It All Dad

Or else what, you’ll divorce me for being a pushy Jew about insisting my children learn the Shema prayer inside the Mezuzah because God commanded it?

 

INT. PIZZERIA

Do It All Dad

I got choked up inside when James Gandolfini died. Truth is I called my father that day to see how he was doing and we’re not on regular speaking terms either.

Pizza guy laughs long time.

INT. HOME

Wife

You’ve done enough celebrating.

Do It All Dad

President Trump wrote me back after getting my letter and book. But he didn’t tweet a buy recommendation on the book to his 59 million followers. So I’ll just break the fast and mope instead.

INT. HOME

Wife

You’ve done enough celebrating.

Do It All Dad

President Trump wrote me back after getting my letter and book, which read to our 3 kids. So I’ll just break the fast and mope about marrying a gentile from Australia who doesn’t give a shit.

 

Situation: Press Conference in Japan.

Reporter: Love the glasses Wes. Has your owner’s forced deleted tweet in support of THE pro democracy movement in Hong Kong, changed the way you weigh in on social issues? Any thoughts on being the American Marbury?

Situation: Press Conference in Japan.

Reporter: Love the glasses Wes. Has your owner’s forced deleted tweet changed the way you weigh in on social issues?

Westbrook: Basketball questions only. Since when do I get confused for Steve Kerr?

Situation: Press Conference in Japan.

Reporter: Has your owner’s forced deleted tweet changed the way you weigh in on social issues?

Westbrook: The Chinese show us the most important love. Endless adulation no matter how much we shit on Trump for ESPN.

Barkley showing the limitations of his intellect.

Critics of the NBA are idiots. Billions are at stake. It’s a business decision. I thought it was a business ethics damnation to keep Shaq uncomfortable in 3 piece suits, my bad.

Barkley trying to act enlightened.

Critics of the NBA are idiots. Billions are at stake. It’s a business decision.

Billions at stake for Time Warner, CNN, TNT and Disney , ESPN, ABC, all anti-American sell out scumbags. Stick to making fun of Lebron.

 

All Houston Rockets gear has been taken down in China.

The Beard could sign Chinese Red Flags instead.

Hide chop sticks in his beard from Mr. Chow’s to sign.

Or wipe ass his with Melo’s old jersey left at his crash pad for fun on. Instagram.

 

INT. Record Shop

Do It All Dad

Refusing to buy my wife your only Bjork record proves the limitations of my love. At least now, my daughter can’t complain on my behalf. The shrieking Eels are eating my brain away Dada, show mercy on my soul mama.

Michael Kornbluth

Ball Gags Made In China

What do Ellen and W bond over exactly? Besides being pro Bush. Do they invite Michelle Obama over for games of Operation, gender reassignment edition?

How does the withdrawal of 100 US troops help ISIS exactly? Will Jihadi John’s family come out of hiding under the ISIS witness protection program? Thinking, let’s start filming our comeback despite Turkey having less rules of war to follow.

The UN accuses Netherlands of Islamophobia over their Burka ban. But prostitutes in Amsterdam are on a widow display in the red light district of all colors, sizes and vary level of attractiveness. Plus, the sexual transactions aren’t against a woman’s will.

Henry Kissinger says the war against ISIS was never won. I recall Drone breath, do nothing to stop the draft or Vietnam, claiming 58,000 American lives. Our last war lost. Failing to overthrow Trump over a golden shower fantasy tale doesn’t count.

Better voters are the key to defeating Trump, Aaron Sorkin? Do more coke and write a play about a mad scientist who clones better voters in the mold of woke Mitty Romney’s, moron. Or just wing it on magic mushrooms and let Jeff Daniels help you.

Mattel released a doll with no gender. Does the doll identify as an Indifferent Asexualist? It must be a middle aged Ken Doll, whose wife threatens to dye his hair once he starts turning grey. Bemoaning his wife not having any hot friends to jerk off to.

It still disgusts me knowing Lebron get’s to play with Uni Brow. Knowing Ewing never bitched about Starks being his lone potential bail out number 2. At least when the Clippers beat them, Lebron can’t say he didn’t have enough good will hype in his favor.

Steve Kerr doesn’t protest against the hate speech police working at Facebook and Twitter for racially profiling all Trump supporters as dumb white trash. So I don’t see Kerr protesting red ball gags on NBA owners in Ted Cruz country, made in China, either.

Michael Kornbluth