When Breathing Ends Talk

Do It All Dad, now 45 and still an unemployed stay at home comedian who just recorded his 45th comedy record to mark every year on this earth, for an eventual box set release on his 46th birthday on April 18th, Totality Of Me. Still Do It All Dad was getting perpetually downer weepy inside whenever his ebullient, radiantly fun, non-stop hilarious, rollicking son, Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo, would ask him in another innocuous inquisitive, I wanna know manner, “How old are you moron?” Do It All Dad would constantly get snipply, prickly about it, and snap back with heart punctuated disgust for not being a highly employable, in demand comedian writer star yet and bluster out, “45 kiddo, stop reminding me already. At least Marvin Gaye implanted his fair share of sexual healing, by the time his cross dressing father shot him with at 45 with a Colt 45.”

Do It All Dad is in the process of posting comedy record 45, Reclusive Rocker Shreds on to his Do It All Dad Year Podcast, Dad friendly entertainment for you and me, while his son finishes watching The Last Jedi, where the reclusive Luke comes back to fight Darth Vader’s mope maligned millennial mouseketeer grandson by not fighting at all like a less fancy, flat footed Obi One. When the far from centered in real life, easily Trump triggered Mark Hamill espouses another deadweight conversationalist TomTom shit line to Kylo, “Strike me down in anger and I’ll always be with you. Just like your father.” In other words, there’s actually a huge upside in letting you kill me without having to break a sweat. Because A) You don’t have to humiliate me like an out of shape Tyson against Buster Douglass. Who couldn’t be bothered to find a Kettlebell to work on my core to escape an encroaching Sarlacc on Tatooine as a throwback return to some hardcore revisionist Jedi training of yesteryear. Plus B) By letting you strike me down Kylo Ren, I’ll always be lurking inside your good side conscious, when the opportunity comes to save Rey and make peace with killing off the coolest Dad imaginable. Who made the Kesel run faster than my space Kliff bars went through Yoda’s stench swampy colon on your loner Dagobah system that made Charles Bukowski come off as less cagy earthy for a a change. Also what kind of name is Kylo Ren exactly? Kylo Ren sounds like an edgeless jerkoff who rebrands himself as a Creative Technologist on LinkedIn. Who’s 2 galaxies removed from the Crimson Guard Twins in GI Joe who are trust fund terrorist babies cloaked in white priveledge. Who burn their modeling money from Ralph Lauren at the track and on extra gummy horses like AOC’s future failed run for Senate of New York after Schumer dies of soul disintegration ruin for paying off the Pope to give his blessing to Pooping Biden’s sham schlock presidency. Only for his fake news holiness to later downplay Biden’s pant soiling incident prior to meeting him by poo pooing on reporters at Brietbart who remarked about the Commander In Chief losing all control off his bowel moments knowing he was bound to drop a number 2 like a confetti mess storm down on Broadway, because he’s full of enough shit already. Later, his Holiness tweets, “Cut out the crap, President Biden didn’t poop his pants before meeting me. Doesn’t President Biden have enough face nappies to wipe up with at his disposal without having to make an elaborate pant change in the 1st place? Plus, good old Joe isn’t Catholic in name only. Modern day Catholics are cool with abortion, hell hole damned, open borders encouraged, roughhouse sex and demonizing ICE agents rounding up divine sparks of rapist light because Homeland Security is so weapons of mass destruction pass already, America.”

So after Luke’s weathered yet recharged soul becomes released by the lightsaber sword, disappears among the cosmos in a galaxy far, far away, Do It All Dad’s son Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo says, “Daddy, I don’t want to die”, like a pubescent Steppenwolf whose been exposed to one too many Ingmar Bergman films already. Do It All Dad says, “Samuel, your nickname is Chosen Curls Was Bound to Woo, not Chosen Curls Was Bound To Fret and pull out his hair out from the bleak prospect of soul destroyer death for anyone responsible for hiring pool time entertainment at the Podesta’s house during upcoming donation season. Look kiddo, the best way to cope with the finality of death or a lifetime of suffering, regret or resentment stemming from alleged loving loyal ones in your life perpetually shitting on your dreams of attaining career fulfillment or financial gain from your imaginative produced artist works in this lifetime God forbid, is through feasting off laugh energy healing, which can help soothe over any fucked over feeling. Trust me, I know from personal experience. That’s why for my final 46th comedy record as a final killer addition to my comedy box set Totality of Me, we’re going to call it Do It All Dad Does Death, which gives me an excuse to bomb with fake news killer punchlines on occasion and cop-out over the mental exerted toil to get the record in fighting shape like Luke does against Kylo Ren. Who cares if any one of my breakup lines with life are laugh out loud funny or not, when breathing ends? Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo laughs and says, ” When Breathing Ends, is funny daddy. More jokes for you, is more jokes for me to put on your comedy records. Do It All Dad laughs, beaming and says, “Never forget Samuel, a joke a day, keeps insanity at bay, chosen one. For example, calling Dr. Fauci America’s doctor is like calling America’s Front Line Doctor’s China’s team, Challah. Thank you very much.”

Michael Kornbluth

When Breathing Ends Talk

Do It All Dad, now 45 and still an unemployed stay at home comedian who just recorded his 45th comedy record to mark every year on this earth, for an eventual box set release on his 46th birthday on April 18th, Totality Of Me. Still Do It All Dad was getting perpetually downer weepy inside whenever his ebullient, radiantly fun, non-stop hilarious, rollicking son, Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo, would ask him in another innocuous inquisitive, I wanna know manner, “How old are you moron?” Do It All Dad would constantly get snipply, prickly about it, and snap back with heart punctuated disgust for not being a highly employable, in demand comedian writer star yet and bluster out, “45 kiddo, stop reminding me already. At least Marvin Gaye implanted his fair share of sexual healing, by the time his cross dressing father shot him with at 45 with a Colt 45.”

Do It All Dad is in the process of posting comedy record 45, Reclusive Rocker Shreds on to his Do It All Dad Year Podcast, Dad friendly entertainment for you and me, while his son finishes watching The Last Jedi, where the reclusive Luke comes back to fight Darth Vader’s mope maligned millennial mouseketeer grandson by not fighting at all like a less fancy, flat footed Obi One. When the far from centered in real life, easily Trump triggered Mark Hamill espouses another deadweight conversationalist TomTom shit line to Kylo, “Strike me down in anger and I’ll always be with you. Just like your father.” In other words, there’s actually a huge upside in letting you kill me without having to break a sweat. Because A) You don’t have to humiliate me like an out of shape Tyson against Buster Douglass. Who couldn’t be bothered to find a Kettlebell to work on my core to escape an encroaching Sarlacc on Tatooine as a throwback return to some hardcore revisionist Jedi training of yesteryear. Plus B) By letting you strike me down Kylo Ren, I’ll always be lurking inside your good side conscious, when the opportunity comes to save Rey and make peace with killing off the coolest Dad imaginable. Who made the Kesel run faster than my space Kliff bars went through Yoda’s stench swampy colon on your loner Dagobah system that made Charles Bukowski come off as less cagy earthy for a a change. Also what kind of name is Kylo Ren exactly? Kylo Ren sounds like an edgeless jerkoff who rebrands himself as a Creative Technologist on LinkedIn. Who’s 2 galaxies removed from the Crimson Guard Twins in GI Joe who are trust fund terrorist babies cloaked in white priveledge. Who burn their modeling money from Ralph Lauren at the track and on extra gummy horses like AOC’s future failed run for Senate of New York after Schumer dies of soul disintegration ruin for paying off the Pope to give his blessing to Pooping Biden’s sham schlock presidency. Only for his fake news holiness to later downplay Biden’s pant soiling incident prior to meeting him by poo pooing on reporters at Brietbart who remarked about the Commander In Chief losing all control off his bowel moments knowing he was bound to drop a number 2 like a confetti mess storm down on Broadway, because he’s full of enough shit already. Later, his Holiness tweets, “Cut out the crap, President Biden didn’t poop his pants before meeting me. Doesn’t President Biden have enough face nappies to wipe up with at his disposal without having to make an elaborate pant change in the 1st place? Plus, good old Joe isn’t Catholic in name only. Modern day Catholics are cool with abortion, hell hole damned, open borders encouraged, roughhouse sex and demonizing ICE agents rounding up divine sparks of rapist light because Homeland Security is so weapons of mass destruction pass already, America.”

So after Luke’s weathered yet recharged soul becomes released by the lightsaber sword, disappears among the cosmos in a galaxy far, far away, Do It All Dad’s son Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo says, “Daddy, I don’t want to die”, like a pubescent Steppenwolf whose been exposed to one too many Ingmar Bergman films already. Do It All Dad says, “Samuel, your nickname is Chosen Curls Was Bound to Woo, not Chosen Curls Was Bound To Fret and pull out his hair out from the bleak prospect of soul destroyer death for anyone responsible for hiring pool time entertainment at the Podesta’s house during upcoming donation season. Look kiddo, the best way to cope with the finality of death or a lifetime of suffering, regret or resentment stemming from alleged loving loyal ones in your life perpetually shitting on your dreams of attaining career fulfillment or financial gain from your imaginative produced artist works in this lifetime God forbid, is through feasting off laugh energy healing, which can help soothe over any fucked over feeling. Trust me, I know from personal experience. That’s why for my final 46th comedy record as a final killer addition to my comedy box set Totality of Me, we’re going to call it Do It All Dad Does Death, which gives me an excuse to bomb with fake news killer punchlines on occasion and cop-out over the mental exerted toil to get the record in fighting shape like Luke does against Kylo Ren. Who cares if any one of my breakup lines with life are laugh out loud funny or not, when breathing ends? Chosen Curls Was Bound To Woo laughs and says, ” When Breathing Ends, is funny daddy. More jokes for you, is more jokes for me to put on your comedy records. Do It All Dad laughs, beaming and says, “Never forget Samuel, a joke a day, keeps insanity at bay, chosen one. For example, calling Dr. Fauci America’s doctor is like calling America’s Front Line Doctor’s China’s team, Challah. Thank you very much.”

Michael Kornbluth

Alexa,Why Is

Alexa, why is Jordan Peterson considered an authority on personality when he doesn’t have one? Alexa says, “Jordan Peterson is considered an excellent speaker because of his encyclopedic knowledge of mythology and literature.”

I reply, “So I should buy into the myth that Jordan Peterson is a personable speaker for referencing other’s people’s ideas without referencing their best quotes on Good Reads first?”

Look, I read his 12 Rules To Life and liked it plenty. But I’m not going out of my to praise the speaking prowess of a man who goes out of his way to show what an objective thinker he is, by calling Hitler the anthesis of a fake news genius on the Joe Rogan show, and not just a fast talking Kraut hyped on Crystal Meth who teamed up with the Muslim Brotherhood in Palestine to exploit the Jews are the root of evil motif for al it was worth, because they’re only white collar profession allowed post World 1, involved the charging of interest, which is outlawed by the Koran, conveniently enough, Google it. Personally, I would’ve been screwed either way back then, because I had to Google how many zeros are in a trillion after my daughter asked me once. Later she says, “Daddy, are you financially illiterate? Is this why you call yourself a degenerate Jew because you have to count with your fingers for simple arithmetic?

Michael Kornbluth

Michael Kornbluth

All-Star Stuff 

Wife says,”Samuel loves Space Jam 2 because it’s a father son story. I say, “Unless Lebron’s son triggers his dad by killing off Michael Jordan’s legacy from becoming the 7 ringed man, I’m not interested. Lebron’s son says, “My name is Bronny Bronny from Bel Air. Your zoom call with your 6 trophies in the background killed off my father’s surging sense of self-esteem during the fall of 2021. Prepare to die of an aired-out heart in 15 years after I became the 7 ringed man. It’s gotta to be the bat shoes made in Wuhan, Wuhan.” Wu Tang lives, Challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Comic Store Freakout

Daughter says, “Daddy, a girl in my school school says Fairy Club is only for little girls. I said, “That’s not true, Superman is into fairies now to. Now, he’ll drain Little Nas’s balls faster than a speeding bullet.Resist this Woke Wolverine, Challah, thank you very much.



Michael Kornbluth

Fatal Misdirection

The new Alec Baldwin excuse for fatal misdirection.

“I’m an all over all the place Jew since I quit self-medicating by getting loaded.”

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer a guy, I heard. But Trump is Hitler 2.0. Relax Alec, sequels never live up to the original. Although Biden, AKA, Mr. Groper, demanding jab stabs among all federal workers, involving our military and all 1st responder emergency workers while exempting member of congress from taking it like horse face AOC, like anyone would knock up that blabber mouth twat on purpose, has managed to sexually assault the shit out our Lady Liberty with greater frothy ferocity than R. Kelly ever did to his leashed bitches under house arrest, in sweet home Chicago. Oh, yeah, Michelle Obama said, “It’s racist, if you flee from the south side of the Chicago. As if the south side of Chicago, the leader maker of bleeding controlling kits in the country, is only one crepe food truck away from gentrification. Gentrification, you know liberal talk for less mouthy Cardi B’s, and more juice bars to load up on Vitamin D, since finding any access to hydroxychloroquine is harder than finding a film blogger on the Rotten Tomatoes who called the Irishman, “Underrated.”

The most feeble reply imaginable is if you ask somebody if they think Joe Biden actually won fair and square. Their upper lips furls into a frenzied despair, doing it’s best to keep the stream of ultra hesitant um’s from spilling out as their souls drops 5 stories closer to liar, liar, pants on fire hell. If Biden got more votes than even Obama Be Good, despite his campaign rallies being so tiny, they couldn’t even fill out the Little Mermaids’ miniscule clam shell bras. Then, Michelle Obama regretted pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln Bedroom moments before Trump got inaugurated. Later, Trump takes a tour of the Lincoln Bedroom and get’s peed on for real this time and comments to Melania, “Is this what Michelle meant, when she-hulk said, when they go low, we aim high?” Can I get a holla for some Challah? Joan lives. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Halloween Made Easy

The opposite of Halloween spirt is hanging up an ISIS flag to scare away Trick or Treaters.

Son doesn’t want to wear a costume for school. But I didn’t want him to feel excluded. So, I burned all his masks before he went to school so if anyone asked what his costume was, he could say, “New face of the Burning Mask Party and youngest mayor in New York City history. What’s his campaign slogan? I don’t eat pizza with a fork and knife like putz breath De-Blasio for starters. And school mask mandates are for power mad, mongoloid moron politicians. Plus, De-Blasio’s wife used to be full time Park Slope lesbian in Brooklyn before they met yet 8 million New Yorker’s known for their well developed bullshit detection abilities are supposed to believe Garlic Breath converted her. But a mongoloid moron who eats pizza with a fork and knife would go down on her natty dread snatch without a mask on, with such sloppy, reckless abandon is a plausible theory to digest.

Last year, I got my family dressed up like the one from American Dad. A dad in nearby Katonah, New York took one look at our family and says, “I don’t get it.” I say, “I’m Stan Smith from American Dad, blatantly fictitious do-gooder operative for the Deep State, you know Swamp Thing. We even made a sign for my parents in Scottsdale, Arizona that says, “Build The Pool Fence. Our 1st choice was dressing up in black face like the Cleveland Show family but Megyn Kelly stole our thunder. You strike me as more of a Uni Brow Maddow fan. This my impersonation of Chris Matthews sexually harassing a new chesty intern from Yenta country in Long Island for MSNBC, “Eating our Maddow, counts as your lunch break babe.” United we laugh, I prove it every day. Happy Halloween weekend made easy, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth