Where Do All The Masks Go?

Before my nurse wife leaves for work she bemoans in a semi-playful, borderline annoying free manner, “Where do all the masks go for the kids?” I want to say, “Up in smoke for my Burning Mask Party Record release party this past July 4th, when you were at work babe. I even blew up the Internet with a record release party for my Burning Mask Party Record on Soundcloud. I even used Art Show’s art work that we got framed for the record cover, that’s got the portrait of an incensed, incest free variation of Prince Godfrey from Game of Thrones, which captures the resistance fury against mask smothers like yourself, don’t you think? Don’t answer that question. In Fuck Face Fauci We Trust, No Matter What, got it.

Michael Kornbluth

Disinterested Love Destroys

Getting vaccinated is the most patriotic thing to do. I thought it was filing defamation lawsuits on the behalf of Dominion the day Democracy died. The FBI could lock up all the ring leaders behind ANTIFA and BLM and our Supreme Court still won’t touch an election fraud case with Elizbeth Warren’s nightmare catcher Totem Pole.

Bursting with patriotic pride for July 4th since Mr. Groper got sworn via Zoom was harder than Rick Fox staying hard after ex wife Vanessa Williams took up plus size modeling bras for Victoria Secret.

Megan Rapinoe is a model for Victoria Secret now. Can’t wait to sample those edible shin guards that taste like hairy fish sticks.

Watched the firework display from Mount Rushmore on YouTube last night with my kids. Once they started the country music section of the firework broadcast, Melania looked less disinterested than Jill Biden after Vouge asked if she’s interested in her hair being airbrushed with an actual brush for a change before using an actual digital one for much needed touch up work.

Younger brother says, “Can’t stay late. Jane has tutoring to do. I said, “But she teaches ESL sporadically. So, how brain draining can the work be, knowing most Chinese kids bow in nodding submission most of the time anyway? Last, if Jane is tutoring the next Obama from Kenya, his college records will become sealed eventually. So what difference does it make?”

Dad failing to show his son interested love again. Dad, tell me I should I get a smartphone replacement instead of a flip phone because you’d die without me sending you new pics of your 3 grandkids. No nod, no change in demeanor. All I heard was crickets, like when I asked my dad in my mind, “So, with your favorite son adding Heroin use to his demon battling list of notable accomplishments, do you still think he makes Hunter look a slacker, underachiever in comparison?”

Michael Kornbluth

Burning Mask Party (Slight Return)

At the Kosher Butcher and say, “A jar of Duck sauce. I don’t have to go out for Chinese ever again. Only to feel less welcome than a resurgent herpes sore on the spot.” Latino Koshertarian Butcher laughs long time.

Do kids in China count bats if they have a hard time staying away for finals week?

Have you seen the new Sales Force Towner in Manhattan? I haven’t seen such a hulking monstrosity taint the Manhattan skyline since Meghan McCain floated down Broadway dressed as a plus size Gumby for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

A leadership book by Cuomo is less believable than a Stacy Abrams romance novel, especially when the character based on her, finds love as a middle-aged TV executive for BET who ditches the fat suit in exchange for a parachute jumper on casual Friday.

I hate run on sentence critics. It’s my fault you’re slow and can’t keep up with my gender fluid flow.

Critical Race Theory is bullshit. Guaranteed money in the NBA, regardless of injury or a reliable hook shot or strong the move to left off the dribble is so oppressive.

If Biden is such a good guy, then why didn’t he tell Hunter to cut out creaming in his dead brother’s wife seconds after the cremation ensued?

 

AI Karen

It’s hard to keep your calm when a robot kiosk at the Podiatrist office tells you to wear a mask before it takes your temperature. Granted, all Karen’s sound like robotic, joyless wenches. But a virtue signaling, AI powered Karen is twice as annoying because it reminds you how much real-life Karen’s are devoid of self-correction and incapable of introspection to. AI Karen is pure evil though because it’s embedded with Silicon Alley privilege, which gets away with mass murder by censoring content promoting the highly effective use of hydroxychloroquine or large-scale consumption of anti-oxidant rich, garlic clam pies from Lombardi’s on Spring Street, used to boost your immune system, which ensures the made in Wuhan virus doesn’t make you meet your maker prematurely.

But seriously, explain to me why I need to wear a mask around a Kiosk check in robot at the Podiatrist’s office again? Delta variant or not, why should I give a shit about Short Circuit becoming terminated again? Also, how do you know I’m not vaccinated already AI Karen? Did you Google my name already to find out if I was banned from Twitter? For insisting Wuhan lab leak investigations have been suppressed by the Chinese more than the nation-wide use of AquaFresh? You don’t have anything to live for anyway AI Karen. You work in the lobby of a podiatrist office. What’s the highlight of your day exactly? Dr. Archer footing the bill for Chipotle? If you were Elon Musk’s personal robot responsible for charging his 3-car garage full of Tesla’s whenever he’s away on business or just managing a Tesla loading dock along the Jersey Shore next to post- modern woke, guido nation, I’d feel like a semi-useful, high rolling robot through association for a change. But you’re still nothing more than a robotic pawn of the CDC AI Karen, while working for a Vineyard Vines sporting Podiatrist that’s not even based in Manhattan for that matter, but in Westchester Country down the street from George Soros no less. Unlike Brando, you were never programmed to be a real contender at anything. Last, being an AI Karen is worse than being a real-life Karen who shows up to a Target in Mount Kisco being looted on the 4th of July as a Burning Mask Party outside ensues while real life Karen’s BLM sticker tricked out Subaru goes up in flames like a Public Enemy video come to life in a NY nanosecond. Are my micro-agressions computing yet AI Karen? Everyone should be participating in the burning mask party on July 4th AI Karen, AI Karen robots included. And fuck Al Gore, AI Karen. I don’t sweat global warming because Al Gore’s documentary film career has cooled considerably. His wife’s rising levels of lingering belly fat would keep me up at night though. Especially if Al doesn’t want to get caught at a massage parlor again, despite him only requesting older happy enders, knowing he can’t be accused of promoting under-age sex trafficking when a picture of Deep Fang’s loose lipped snatch proves she wasn’t yanked off the boat yesterday.

Burning Mask Party (Slight Return)  

What’s the message behind the chiseled, inanimate, 30-foot Atlas sculpture on Fifth Ave wearing a mask exactly? Follow the Atkins Diet and socially distance from carbs?

Forcing our kids to wear muzzle masks is wrong. A mask mandate on Boris Johnson’s wife at the G7 Summit, not so much, woof, woof.

Masks are the new condoms, only because I can’t cum in my wife wearing one either, cooing, “Yay, Yay, sex is fun again.”

No kids are dying from COVID, yet Dr. Gnocchi acts like the COVID virus depresses your immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyer’s Club.

Biden is donating thousands of free COVID vaccines to Africa like a poor man’s Bill Gates, who can’t code for this shit either.

My wife really wants me to catch COVID. So, she can rub it in my face and say, “That’s what you get for going down on MAGA mom.”

Why haven’t I got a vaccination shot yet? Because I don’t have a job at Salesforce and don’t last at sales jobs very long, which explains why I’ve been fired more than a Palestinian Sling Shot. Why haven’t I got the vaccination shot yet? Because I’m not in the army now.  Plus, if I wanted to join the Army now, I’d be labeled as a right-wing extremist. Because they’d learn about my shemale search history on thirdlegs.com, which means I’m against Sharia law and genital mutilation all at the same time, which isn’t gay enough for Mayor Pete’s tastes, I guess. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because I don’t want to act all campy, sporting a “Just Vaccinated” sticker, which screams, look at me, I’m not on Trumpy Poo’s side to. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? If diehard Democrats of what’s become the open borders, rape enablement party, didn’t have their heads stuck so far up their ass, they’d see how they’re not the only ones allowed to resist. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because the pediatrician for my 3 kids told me to get one and he thinks Biden won fair and square. Yeah, and President Trump is allergic to high end trim. Explain to me why Biden got more votes than Obama Be Good again doc? Is it because Mr. Groper looks like a more virile Jimmy Carter in Aviator shades? School nurse sent my kid home today because he coughed BULLSHIT. After his friend Hobbs said he got COVID from watching a Trump Rally on Fox News. Doctor asks me “How do you think your son could’ve gotten COVID?” before the test results came back negative. I said, “We looted a Target in Minneapolis for George Floyd Appreciation Month. But don’t worry doc, we stole all the masks we could find. So, we could throw our Burning Mask Party on July 4th to light a fire under any patriotic verve Lady Liberty has left. The never-ending shit show ends today, USA, USA, USA. Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

 

Burning Mask Party

At the Kosher Butcher and say, “A jar of Duck sauce. I don’t have to go out for Chinese ever again. Only to feel less welcome than a resurgent herpes sore on the spot.” Latino Koshertarian Butcher laughs long time.

Do kids in China count bats if they have a hard time staying away for finals week?

Have you seen the new Sales Force Towner in Manhattan? I haven’t seen such a hulking monstrosity taint the Manhattan skyline since Meghan McCain floated down Broadway dressed as a plus size Gumby for the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

A leadership book by Cuomo is less believable than a Stacy Abrahms romance novel, especially when the character based on her, finds love as a middle aged TV executive for BET who ditches the fat suit in exchange for a parachute jumper on casual Friday.  

I hate run on sentence critics. It’s my fault you’re slow and can’t keep up with my gender fluid flow.

Critical Race Theory is bullshit. Guaranteed money in the NBA, regardless of injury or a reliable hook shot or strong the move to left off the dribble is so oppressive.

If Biden is such a good guy, then why didn’t he tell Hunter to cut out creaming in his dead brother’s wife seconds after the cremation ensued?

 

What’s the message behind the chiseled, inanimate, 30-foot Atlas sculpture on Fifth Ave wearing a mask exactly? Follow the Atkins Diet and socially distance from carbs?

Forcing our kids to wear muzzle masks is wrong. A mask mandate on Boris Johnson’s wife at the G7 Summit, not so much, woof, woof.

Masks are the new condoms, only because I can’t cum in my wife wearing one either, cooing, “Yay, Yay, sex is fun again.”

No kids are dying from COVID, yet Dr. Gnocchi acts like the COVID virus depresses your immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyer’s Club.

Biden is donating thousands of free COVID vaccines to Africa like a poor man’s Bill Gates, who can’t code for this shit either.

My wife really wants me to catch COVID. So, she can rub it in my face and say, “That’s what you get for going down on MAGA mom.”

Why haven’t I got a vaccination shot yet? Because I don’t have a job at Salesforce and don’t last at sales jobs very long, which explains why I’ve been fired more than a Palestinian Sling Shot. Why haven’t I got the vaccination shot yet? Because I’m not in the army now.  Plus, if I wanted to join the Army now, I’d be labeled as a right-wing extremist. Because they’d learn about my shemale search history on thirdlegs.com, which means I’m against Sharia law and genital mutilation all at the same time, which isn’t gay enough for Mayor Pete’s tastes, I guess. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because I don’t want to act all campy, sporting a “Just Vaccinated” sticker, which screams, look at me, I’m not on Trumpy Poo’s side to. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? If diehard Democrats of what’s become the open borders, rape enablement party, didn’t have their heads stuck so far up their ass, they’d see how they’re not the only ones allowed to resist. Why haven’t I gotten the vaccine yet? Because the pediatrician for my 3 kids told me to get one and he thinks Biden won fair and square. Yeah, and President Trump is allergic to high end trim. Explain to me why Biden got more votes than Obama Be Good again doc? Is it because Mr. Groper looks like a more virile Jimmy Carter in Aviator shades? School nurse sent my kid home today because he coughed BULLSHIT. After his friend Hobbs said he got COVID from watching a Trump Rally on Fox News. Doctor asks me “How do you think your son could’ve gotten COVID?” before the test results came back negative. I said, “We looted a Target in Minneapolis for George Floyd Appreciation Month. But don’t worry doc, we stole all the masks we could find. So, we could throw our Burning Mask Party on July 4th to light a fire under any patriotic verve Lady Liberty has left. The never-ending shit show ends today, USA, USA, USA. Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

 

Beyond Personal

More hardcore edge is funnier.

Governor Cuomo getting paid to write about leadership is like R Kelly getting early release to babysit the latest Kardashian out of the womb, Woody Allen writing a book on hands off parenting or Kevin Durant, Mr. Millennial Mouseketeer himself, getting picked to do a Ted Talk on how to defend yourself against Cyberbullying.

Celebrity couples who can’t keep their hands off each other are stuck in a perpetual sweaty sex period. That’s the secret sauce ingredient that makes any sexually charged relationship stick.

Russell Simmons addressing rape allegations with Gayle King. Gayle, read my lisp. I didn’t rape any of those vengeful, over the hill ho’s.

New marketing idea for my book Do It All Dad Does Jokes. Donate them to the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility where Martha Stewart stayed. Sample some Snoop Dog jokes on the Corrections Officer in charge of accepting donations for the Prison Library. “Have you tried Snoop Dog’s new red wine yet? Wine Spectator says it tastes like mouthwash used in Porn Hood Hell. Can I donate some Dr. Seuss books or are they not woke enough for the Warden’s tastes? Did you hear? Dr. Seuss is racist for drawing a pic of an African wearing a grass skirt. I didn’t know Fubu was in fashion yet.” Correction Officer laughs long time.

Dad giving you parenting advice 3 grandchildren later over the phone again from Arizona is annoying. Oh, you don’t like the idea of your granddaughter attending Cornell University eventually because of sudden mental health concerns post COVID pops? I think all the outsourced, invisible suicide nets used in factories for Nike and Apple in China got the 13 Reasons Why class covered pops. I bet Cornell made a Suicide Prevention App that has the Skulls and Bones logo on the button to make their snowflake prone students feel extra protected inside. Like Cornell alum Bill Maher for getting away with naming his production company Kid Love Productions, with no media inquiry into its pedo friendly name whatsoever.  If W’s kids weren’t such airheads, they’d download that app at Yale, knowing the Skulls and Bones logo makes you immune to fucking up again consequences like W after 9/11 for doing dick to prevent the inside job on his watch. Plus, whenever you press the Suicide Prevention App button, Bang Your Head by Quiet Riot plays pops, which gets you out of your head after you try to headbutt Joe Rogan through your laptop for promoting how much his brand of CBD oil matters man, despite it giving you no mental lift worth giving a shit about whatsoever like any heady rush takeaways from the Dax Sheppard podcast. That’s right, another interchangeable boorish, CBD disciple comic on The Joe Rogan Podcast sprinkles his killer sets with jokes about how Deadheads only attend Dead Shows for the drugs. Yeah, Dicks Picks Volume 1 through 9000 documents nothing but scattered tracers dude. But seriously pops, once you press that Suicide Prevention App and hear Bang Your Head by Quiet Riot, your anxiety level drops lower than Al Gore’s balls at the sight of finding one more Klondike bar left in his sub-zero freezer on the 4th of July.  

Imagine a kid trying to jump off a bridge at Cornell only to bump into the invisible net. Kid says, “I can’t even ace a perfect landing to end my endless shit show of a life.”

This is my impression of a Tour Guide at Cornell downplaying mental health concerns for the incoming class of 2021. “Freshman don’t even have time to squeeze in a 20-minute Peloton ride between classes. White Pelton Privilege doesn’t exist behind these Ivy draped walls. So, what makes you think, Cornell freshman can afford to spend their down time attending pill parties, listening to 13 Reason Why on Vinyl backwards? While looking for secret hidden messages like, “Sell your soul to Apple Music like Trent Reznor did. And you’ll look less tormented menacing in 700-dollar leather jackets in no time.” Also kids today post COVID can’t enough of social distancing, especially after their ears get raped to death from all the yenta breath sorority sisters during rush week in the school cafeteria, chanting, “Gama Roe, were so hot. We rock the Keto diet. So, we don’t become fat feminist Karen bots.”

Don’t go there question on Thanksgiving. So, dad, what brings you more shame, your son getting addicted to opioids or your eldest trying to wean himself off the comment section of the Gateway Pundit? You never heard of it? Its’ another alt right, dirt rag like the rest, according to Uni Brow Maddow at MSNBC. Hey dad, tell me if you think this impression is funny. This is Chris Matthews sexually harassing a new chesty, yenta breath intern from Long Island on MSNBC. Eating out Maddow, counts as your lunch break babe.”

Waiting for my car appointment to get a new key and some old guy starts asking questions about login codes for the internet. I said, “What are you really missing out on, besides the Do It All Dad Year Podcast and Do It All Dad Year Blog? Personally, I want to kick it old school and get a flip phone again if I’m honest about only wanting to hear my own opinions most of the time.  Describe the Internet in 3 words Twitter, “I’m smart stupid.”  Also, I want to start using my imagination for jerking off again, so I don’t feel like a slacker jerkoff at the same time in real time. Are you feeling me yet old timer? Old timer says, “I like using the Internet to read articles from the New York Times and Washington Post. I say, “Nobody’s perfect. Billy Wilder lives. I don’t do unnamed sources like you know who.” Holla, thank you very much.

At the library trying to donate some books and getting endless laughs by pitching all the book titles of my books to donate to a local prison in Bedford after receiving the suggestion from the Librarian like Controlling My Kids With Comedy, A Love Story, Do It All Dad Does Jokes, etc. Then, the librarian says, “You remind me of my nephew. He’s a comedian.” I say, “Your warm-hearted embrace of my funny man identity doesn’t remind me of my mother one bit.”

Why should I care about the Swiss beating the French in soccer? The Swiss are guilty of cultural appropriation by storing Mark Chagal designer lamps for their Nazi rulers to sell at Sotheby’s whenever they needed to stock up on more Malbec and crystal meth during their golden years, living it up in the Andes mountains, while writing more glowing reviews of Mein Kampf on Amazon under Nazi Scientist Protection Programs Rule.

New agent seduction plan. Only purse female lit agents, that give me sustained stiffage, which is extended arousal derived from their money shot loaded manuscript sales list. Playing with the idea of making mama jealous with a new potential Jewish Godmother fill in lover embracer regarding the totality of me wouldn’t hurt my increased motivation factor to woo them with more than my pulsating prose either.

Getting a new key at the Toyota dealership and start flirting with the slightly chesty, pretty faced enough, raven black haired, Latino gal who helped reorder the key for me prior in painless, super-fast fashion. I made her laugh long time prior the day before, when I said, “I don’t mind waiting. My unhuggable C Word of a mother-in-law is being forced to play fake news involved grandma for the week, so I’m whistling dixie regardless. Today, I say, the name Vilma is growing more on me every day. It’s more cinematic sounding than Penelope Cruz. In fact, I think Pedro Almodovar should make you his new muse and kick that uppity lisp to the curb.  Everyone working there laughs long time. I add,” I’m glad that my Philosophy and Film Class that my parents paid 50 thousand dollars for just materialized there.” The entire Toyota worker crew laughs long time again. United we laugh, oh, what a feeling.

Michael Kornbluth

AI Karen

It’s hard to keep your calm when a robot kiosk at the Podiatrist office tells you to wear a mask before it takes your temperature. Granted, all Karen’s sound robotic because they’re devoid of any inclusive based emotion. But a virtue signaling, AI powered Karen is twice as annoying because it reminds you how real life Karen’s are glaringly devoid of self-correction and incapable of introspection to. AI Karen is twice as evil miserable throughout it’s woke-plagued circuit board existence because it’s embedded with Silicon Alley privilege, which get’s away with mass murder by censoring content promoting the highly effective use of hydroxychloroquine or large scale consumption of anti-oxidant rich, garlic clam pies from Lombardi’s on Spring Street, used to boost your immune system, which ensures the made in Wuhan virus doesn’t make you meet your maker prematurely.

Explain to me why I need to wear a mask around a Kiosk check in robot at the Podiatrist’s office again? Since when should I give a shit about Short Circuit being terminated? Also, how do you know I’m not vaccinated already AI Karen? Did you Google my name already to find out if I was banned from Twitter? For insisting Wuhan lab leak investigations have been suppressed by the Chinese more than the nation wide use of AquaFresh? You don’t have anything to live for anyway AI Karen. You work in the lobby of a podiatrist office. What’s the highlight of your day exactly? Dr. Archer footing the bill for Chipotle? If you were Elon Musk’s personal robot responsible for charging his 3 car garage full of Tesla’s whenever he’s away on business or just managing a Tesla loading dock along the Jersey Shore next to post modern woke guido nation, I’d feel like a semi-useful, high rolling robot through association for a change. But you’re still nothing more than a robotic pawn of the CDC AI Karen, while working for a Vineyard Vines sporting Podiatrist that’s not even based in Manhattan for that matter, but in Westchester Country down the street from George Soros no less. Unlike Brando, you were never programmed to be a real contender at anything. Last, being an AI Karen is worse than being a real life Karen showing up to a Target in Mount Kisco being looted on the 4th of July as a Burning Mask Party outside ensues while real life Karen’s BLM sticker tricked out Subaru goes up in flames like a Public Enemy video come to life in a NY nanosecond going viral. Are my microagressions computing yet AI Karen? Everyone should be participating in the burning mask party on July 4th, AI Karen robots included, I agree. And fuck Al Gore AI Karen. I don’t sweat global warming because Al Gore’s speaking career has cooled considerably. His wife’s rising levels of lingering belly fat would keep me up at night though. Especially if Al doesn’t want to get caught at a massage parlor again, despite him only requesting older happy enders, knowing he can’t be accused of promoting under age sex trafficking when a picture of Deep Fang’s loose lipped snatch proves she wasn’t yanked off the boat yesterday.

Michael Kornbluth



The COVID Jab Pinkie Swear

New York City is reopened again. Cuomo declares victory. He killed off the greatest city the world has in only 15 months flat.

Steven A. Smith claims Durant is the best player to represent New York. Be a more transparent kiss ass Smith. Millennial Mouseketeers would’ve gotten stomped to death in the vastly more rough and tumble era of the eighties NBA. The suffocative defensive play by the Bad Boys, X Man, The Pacers, Kevin Willis and Charles hard as oak Oakley wouldv’e torn Durant’s pipe cleaner arms off like he was the black Gumby. Durant isn’t an actual Playground legend from Brooklyn like Bernard King either. Bernard King was the black Larry Bird on steroids with Rocky’s eye of the tiger snarl in Rocky 2. Who ripped the rim off the fucking basket while going coast to coast like Westbrook on Adderall with far greater chest puffing huffing ease.

Refusing to vote is giving up on America. No, avoiding Voter ID to cheat again is. I forgot. Calling out election fraud is the big lie like humanization being the religion of peaceful Palestinian protestors for hire. Which reminds me, an all Muslim girls prom was just held in Detroit. The prom was like mine, pork free.

I hope nobody votes in America ever again. So, politicians who let Democracy die under their watch without making a peep will feel like emptier imposter do good helpers at Harvard Club than normal till their last, scotch stench filled breath.

Is Baby Face Omar the new face of Banana Republic yet? To model their the new line of casual antisemitism footwear that comes with a complimentary Israeli doormat to boot.

Actually, the Supreme Court gave up on America when they refused to look into the case of election fraud that was more blatant than Jill Biden’s varicose veins with no panty hose on in front of the Queen, who offers stiff competition in that department with her panty hose on in person.

Eric Clapton’s famous music friends like Steve Winwood are avoiding him like the plague now since he opened up about partial paralysis after his 2nd COVID jab. Back on his high horse again with chompers like that. Dear Alexa, play me any song by Cream, Clapton or Derek and Dominoes to make me happy. It’s too bad Steve Winwood isn’t cracking anybody’s top 100 pleasure playlist either.

Nobody has died from the COVID jab. What about boxer legend The Marvelous Marvin Hagler? Oh yeah, MSN debunked the conspiracy theory already despite Tommy Hearns claiming the murderous jab put him out for the count more than his combinations ever could.

I made a COVID jab pinkie swear when my parents asked me to get vaccinated for their behalf. But my father’s shoulders collapse, whenever I go in for a hug for old times sake since I came out as a Trump supporter. Plus, my parents are vaccinated, which grants them immunity from the virus allegedly. So at this point, what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Land Of Gold Making Dreams

There’s nothing funny about our kids being forced to wear masks at school like Michael Jackson’s kids on holiday in Bahrain. Especially if they’re too young to identify with the moderate Muslim housewives of Manhattan just yet. Before Jared Kushner helped broker a peace treaty between Bahrain and Israel faster than he bursts within Ivanka in shear whenever she talks dirty to him in Mandarin on his birthday again. Still, I would love to see a viral video sensation similar to one started by the gay hairdresser Brandon Straka who started the Walk Away movement from the Democratic party to announce a Burning Mask Party in honor of my upcoming over top comedy record release, Killerset@gmail.com instead.

My daughter, Matilda, Ten Homer Daily, Singing Rose Kornbluth stars in the Burning Mask Party video and narrates as my infinitely sweeter, far funnier twin whose sports my genetic makeup all over her face.

Dear America,

Once upon a time, Trump made ball busting great again. Our economy was hotter than Florida and Antisemitism right now. Every day, more Americans worked, laughed and celebrated American exceptionalism with renewed patriotic flourish. Then, one day China used financing from Fuck Face Fauci to construct a man made virus used to kill our economy and the Trump topping presidency. So they could steal an election, avoid prosecution for treason for illegally spying on the Trump campaigning and push mail in voting, so they could cheat, steal the election and kill off the veneer of voting mattering anymore. Because of that, schools had to play along with this farce and dress up in masks to project the fake news fear of us being more likely to die from COVID than from a Seth Meyers monologue on Zoom. If I’m not scared of Trump. Then, I’m not into my mother as much as Seth Meyers. No offense mommy.

Until finally, the CDC and the WHO lifted their mask mandates despite Biden trying to push ineffective non FDA approved vaccines on kids, not knowing whether they’re more hazardous than snorting crushed up Flinstone vitamins mixed with Tide Pods just yet. From where I stand, if all the kids refuse to wear the masks, the teachers won’t have anyone left to teach. So I let’s get this burning mask party started this summer on July 4th and reclaim our independence on the eve of my Dad’s comedy record release Killerset@gmail.com. Jokes GenX Dads understand and beyond. It’s impossible to hate such non-stop hilarity like this. This comedy train is bound glory. Hope you can join the ride and help make ball busting great again to. Controlling our kids with comedy can make our kids great again. Myself and my 2 little brothers 98 percent of the time, are living proof of it, USA, USA, USA.

Michael Kornbluth

Reimagining Cuomo Book Titles

Did you know Jared Kushner talked Dad out of Motley Crue playing at his inauguration because he insisted Tommy Lee looked too Alt-Rightish. Later he adds, “And my Hebrew Hammer can’t compete Dad.” Holla, thank you very much.

A leadership book by Cuomo carries less impactful weight than a Stacy Abrams romance novel, especially after she ditches the fat suit for a parachute jumper on casual Friday. Holla, thank you very much.

Knowing how New York State boasted the highest death rate of any US state, largely due to Cuomo’s policy of forcing sick old patients with COVID to shack up with other sick old New Yorkers older than Yiddish, to die, cursing the Italian Reptilian inside against their dying of the light, it’s time to reimagine new book titles for the thug in Armani, don’t you think? If Cuomo’s lucky, he can win another Emmy with a TV show on Netflix in his honor based on these killer, headline hooker titles alone. Let the alt righting book title reimagining being.

  1. That slut Blanch from the Golden Girls was going to die from a urinary track infection anyway. Wait a minute, in Florida she’d still be alive to suck a golf ball through a garden hose for another day, my bad.
  2. Ben Stiller thinks I’d play a convincing mob boss in a remake of the Goonies because I look like Mama Fratelli and the Thing had a baby. Wait a minute, who wrote this shit for me, Joan Rivers. I thought that annoying, Jew bitch was six feet under already for insisting Michelle Obama let it flop around on Ellen like she he don’t care. Joan lives. Holla, thank you very much.
  3. Trump’s shipped in hospital beds were just for show. Who cares if they got less touches than a bible at a bathhouse colony in Provincetown?
  4. I got Chris Rock to do a mask up PSA in my honor despite President Trump helping push prison reform to give his people new leases on life. I just gave BLM more rope to hang themselves with within the court of a public opinion.
  5. I destroyed the greatest city in the world in 14 months flat. What have you done with your life, besides wish the big, bad blond wolf could give me a nipple twister under the comment section on the Gateway Pundit?
  6. Born to Kill like Anthony Gnocchi.
  7. Vince Lombardi Lives
  8. Thugs in Armani Matter
  9. Broadway Blue Balls
  10. Andrew Black Eyes
  11. Destructive Mook Knows Best
  12. No, I Won’t Jump Off My Own Bridge.
  13. Reckless Endangerment Is Good
  14. Hijacking Hydroxychloroquine. Cuomo confiscated the entire supply in NY for his own personal stash and banned Doctors from prescribing it because the Italian Reptilian Inside had a surplus of body bags to fill, never mind.
  15. How to Kill Without Throwing Granny Off The Train
  16. From Good Too Imprisoned for Highly Avoidable Crimes Against Humanity.
  17. The Ponzi Push of Death
  18. The Art of Getting Away With Granny Choking On Her Pasta Fazool, metaphorically speaking.
  19. Too Big for Late Term Abortion
  20. Why I’m Smarter Than Tony Soprano
  21. Eating Meatballs Alone On Death Row
  22. The Hit Man’s Dilemma Around Real Made Men Tough Guys
  23. How to Get Banned From Rao’s For Life
  24. Dysfunctional Democrats Always Win Last

Michael Kornbluth