Batshit Crazy Pelosi

Batshit Crazy Pelosi sent a Chinese bat into our house to take me out for insisting on social media how the Chinese Community Party has resisted investigations into the source behind the Coronavirus more than Aquafresh.  My wife insisted we get vaccine shots to prevent us from getting Chinese Corona Rabies from the bat just breathing dead dog on us in our sleep.

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

The Worst Beard Mayor Of All Time

Mayor De Blasio’s wife used to be a hardcore lesbian yet were supposed believe Garlic Breath converted her? Hizzoner eats pizza with a fork and knife. So, do you really see Big Bird eating her out without a mask on, with such sudden, sloppy abandon?

Michael Kornbluth

Our Post Woke Plagued Universe

California Governor Gavin Newsom  is set to release up to 18,000 prisoners by the end of August to slow the spread of COVID.  Can’t the Correction Officers just raid their cells for smokes and call it a day? That’s right, Nancy Denture Breath Pelosi is decrying weed as a miracle drug to cure Covid, despite the disease responsible for puncturing holes through lungs, requiring lung transplants among certain Covid carriers as young as twenty years old. So what’s the difference?

Michael Kornbluth

Brainwashed Shaming Losing Its Oomph

Facebook took down a live stream of front line Doctors telling Americans no kids are dying of Covid, not one teacher has caught Covid from their students and hydroxchloroquine has actually cured fat fucks with Covid, who already have diabetes or capable of being Meghan McCain’s spirit eating animal. Last, the Houston doctor Stella Immanuel whose cured 300 plus patients with Covid through hydroxchloroquine insists, “Face Masks aren’t even necessary to stop the transmission of the virus”, regardless if Andy Dick coughed into your Wheatgrass smoothie at Jamba Juice or not. And curing Covid patients with hydroxchloroquine has nothing do with Fuck Face Fauci’s expertise or myth debunking proclamations like denying the Chinese have resisted investigations into the source of the Corona China Virus more than Aquafresh.

But Zit Face Zuck and Twitter Twat Dorsey removed the viral video because it was sharing false information because the big bad blond wolf shared it with his 82 million branded racist followers, who aren’t the actual the ones doing everything in their power to discredit a black female doctor, who originally hails from Nigeria. Instead, all the media fetch dogs at CNN and within the halls of congress with Denture Breath Pelosi, are doing their darndest to keep our economy on life support as our cities burn to the ground all in the name of righting systematic racism, which makes total sense after America elected the fake news hopeful one twice, while guaranteed money still exists for China siding NBA players at large, which is a tad ignorant, don’t you think Pop? I got 2 words for you Eddie Curry, case closed.

So the brainwashed shaming stab loses its oomph, especially when CNN is insisting all of these front line doctors, including a pediatrician from fucking Santa Monica of all places, were all wearing fake news lab coats in front of the White House and giving opinions all contrary to some no name study, most likely endorsed by the WHO, who most Gen X parents like myself could give 2 BB Eight Shits about it. So go woke yourself, because this Trump Train is bound for glory.

Michael Kornbluth

Divorce Immunity During Corona

Daughter says, “Mommy asked Google if she should divorce her unemployed comedian husband. I say, “You kids name your special jumps into the pool based on chapter titles from my books like Best Bud Sarah Silverman Never Had, splash, Children Are Family Upgrades, Woosh, or Surrender Shrimp and Grits, long time, hollah, kaplomp. So, it’s not as if you kids are clamoring to tell a divorce court how much you want me out of your life already. Besides, haven’t you ever heard of divorce immunity during Corona? Last, we don’t even know if you’re going to be resuming school full time again this year and baby’s not running for President yet, nor do any of your virtual grandparents on both sides plan to lift a finger to help with you 3 on a semi-regular basis outside of liking a new picture on Facebook. Plus, grandparents on both sides, have no intention to uproot themselves away from Unibrow Maddow or the local Ukranian Church, in Delaware where, baba performed fake news communion on all 3 of your behind my back, because your Hebrew names, Jewish blood and none of your ever getting baptized derailed that after life death wish from ever materializing. So daddy possess what the big Don in the Art of the Deal would call leverage, unlike every Democratic Mayor crying for Federal help after they turned the mob loose on their cities without any crime blitz schemes in sight because Mike Ditka isn’t in charge nor he is grooming any Buddy Ryan’s to take over their own homeland security defense departments against omnipresent, mostly real life crazy, encouraged anarchy in the name of Obama Be Good and the geographically challenged, pedo hair sniffer being just what fuck Face Fauci ordered to bring our country back to 2.9 GDP growth again, when diplomacy was considered nuke gifting Iran 150 billion on your way out the doors. Those were the days.

Michael Kornbluth

Bill Gates Defending China On Bloomberg

Bill Gates praising China’s response to the Coronavirus on Bloomberg.  Bill Gates says,  “It’s not China’s fault, America was dumb enough to believe them when they said the Corona Virus was only transferable if Count Chocula were to pop out of your cereal box and suck your blood.”

Michael Kornbluth

Disney Bought Fox Because

The Corona China Virus has cost Walt Disney 1.4 billion. But they bought Fox so they’d be discouraged to do hard hitting investigative pieces on Jefferey Epstein’s ties to Rape Wood and his underage sex slaves giving pedicures to Matt Groening’s gnarly looking toenails on Lolita Express, without a face mask on, to ensure his sex slave manicurists would be forced to look extra animated about it.

Michael Kornbluth

Prepared To Be Suicidal

Why should I value Hillary Hammer Time Cankle’s opinion on anything again?

If Trump, loses, we must prepare for his refusal to leave the White House, Huma Licker Breath.

Because if anyone is an expert on refusing to accept election results it’s this 2 time loser, Russian collusion tale financing, deplorable, cock blocker trip him upper from the starting gate.

Michael Kornbluth

Wear The Mask, Iron Lungs

How can you not wear a mask? Because I’m not a method actor lost in pretend land, Stay At Home Dads keeping the nuclear family together aren’t considered essential workers according to the Atlantic and I don’t identify as a liberal trans Muslim housewife. Last, I’ll wear the mask at the Supermarket because I have to, not because I’m bugging over the prospect of catching the Chinese Black Lung Virus because I’ve been sucking down high octane weed out of a metal bat for 3 decades straight and my lungs feel great. Dice lives.

Michael Kornbluth