Unmoving Morons

How do I forgive alleged radio personalities and former NBA players who were never in sniffing distance of MVP contention for claiming Jokic lacks the excitement factor to get the casual fan to tune into the NBA Finals?

Assume they secretly sleep in Steph Curry jammies that squeeze whatever purported nuts they have left for refusing to give credit to the Serbian white nationalist over King of the Persecution Complex, AKA, Line Drive Chucker.

Jokic’s vertical is whiter than white man’s disease, whoopty freaking do.

Larry Bird was still mesmerizing to watch, so was Reggie Miller, even Steph Curry’s father if I’m an extra generous mood, knowing the former 6th Man of the Year barley left the ground either. His honeymoon bed definitely achieved blast off more than he did from the three-point line. But unless your mom is hot enough to win Miss Washington Heights and charge the price of Hamilton tickets in exchange for some high-end chlamydia, chuck the Steph Curry jersey in the trash. Unless you identify with Steph Curry because you have plenty of experience high stepping over the shit lined streets of San Franscisco. Unmoving Morons, challah, thank you very much.

Is my salty personality impossible to subdue in this instance?

Jokic lacks the excitement factor. But he’s the joker. Didn’t he accuse BLM of calling Turbo Tax, culturally biased software?

Jokic’s team swept Lebron’s Lakers after they beat Golden State, but I’m supposed to think he lacks the excitement factor? The NBA no longer exists as a safe space for Lebron’s ego, now that it’s punctured forever. What’s more exciting than that? Unmoving morons, challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

What’s Eating Gilbert  

NBA sharpshooter Gilbert Arenas claims nobody will care if Jokic wins an NBA championship.

Isn’t our country plagued with a white supremacy problem?

I thought all Christian conservatives who prefer pristine southern belle puss over stank hole anus holes were deemed worse than Nazi Kraut breaths tweaked on Crystal Meth.

If America does have a white supremacy problem, then shouldn’t the white Serbian nationalist winning an NBA ring be a cause for widespread jubilee?

Jokic’s new celebrity line of Raspberry Vodka from Serbia puts Puff Daddy’s Ciroc out of business.

Proud boys in Denver are sweating proposed rule changes like an extended three-point line less than BLM does getting audited.

Serbian Big Lives Matter gets painted in giant, bold print along Fifth Avenue outside Trump Tower.

Elon Musk blows more government grant money to patent a brain chip based on Jokic’s DNA that’s embedded with a basketball IQ boost guarantee.

Phones at Alt-right dirt rags like Daily Caller ring off the hook with requests for full-page ad spreads by anonymous eugenics enthusiasts to congratulate Jokic for breaking Wilt the Stilt’s triple-double streak with headlines like “Big Dipper Rating Dropping,” “White Men Dominate Again,” “Serbian Legends Live,” “Safe Space For Lebron’s James Ego Is Dead.’

Seattle Supersonics fans from Gen X still into Pearl Jam after they pimped for Hair Plugs Sniffer on the campaign trail throw their decrepit, older than Aids flannel shirts in the air in a deflated state of resignation to acknowledge the new big dog in town while bemoaning, “I know it, King of the Persecution Complex knows it, Eddie Vedder knows it too, in a post-Jordan rules universe, the NBA can’t find a better man.”

Interesting NBA fact, 4-time All-Star Tom Chambers, who scored 20,000 career points, is not in the Basketball Hall of Fame: white privilege my ass.

Caring about whitey again, Challah, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth