Dangerous 3rd Grader Minds

3rd grader hipster spawn reared on Lou Reed records in Park Slope, Brooklyn says, “Mr. Gay, I know beastality isn’t exclusive to gay teachers like yourself according to Dr. Kinsey’s book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, whose hard data studies suggests how men’s sexual histories are gay, dull, or completely full of shit all together. But what I’m wondering about today is why aren’t Mooses getting top billing in Beastablity flicks over horses? And you thought Meatloaf being excluded in the Oscars 2022 Memoriam after 43 million records sold was a slap in the face. I went on Youtube thinking Northern Exposure was an independent film parody of Midnight Cowboy, directed by John Waters, about a Moose who flashes for money in Times Square movie houses in the seventies when Peter Frampton came alive all over your daughter’s face. Divine already ate shit in Pink Flamingo’s in 1972, so she he sporting antler regalia, while sporting a replica of a John Holmes moose link dick isn’t too far flung of a concept to wrap your head around is it Teach? Also did you know that antler growth is based on testosterone levels? Yeah, I’m not getting any sustained stiffage with Scarlett Johansen as the voice of Alexa who sounds like she’s between estrogen throat blocker treatments either.”

3rd Grade Teacher, Mr. Gay says, “Retirement can’t come soon enough. Lucky for me, Florida is flush with anti-aging clinics, grooming schools are us, not so much anymore, Disney’s new theme park attraction, Land Of 3rd Legged Beauties, excluded. Challah, 2 Live Crew lives, being funny enough naughty as I want to be, Challah! Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Operation Whack Speed 2

Jennifer Aniston has cut off all contact with her unvaccinated friends. In related news, Chandler still looks like shit regardless. You’d think he slept in a bat cave on the Warner Brother’s lot for Christ sake.

Biden officials even want vaccinated parents to wear masks at home to prevent their unvaccinated kids from getting COVID. In other words, vaccinations don’t matter.

Vaccines normally take a decade to get approval. But now the Biden administration is pushing the FDA to approve the COVID vaccine by the time Jared Kushner bursts in Ivanka whenever she talks dirty to him in Mandarin on his birthday again.

Biden just called all unvaccinated Americans the “new pandemic.” Did Obama give him the line or was it Valerie Jarret, Obama’s birthday party planner and live in Arabian horse whisperer, anyone following me yet? Mueller, Mueller, what did his testimony in front of congress prove again? Oh yeah, Mueller, Mr. Get A Haircut and Get a Real Job only parts his hair with gold old fashioned elbow grease. George Thorogood lives. The sky is crying a gulfstream of a hollas for some challahs wanted all over the world, holla. George Thorogood and The Destroyers demolish again, the best thing to come out of Delaware since Hunter’s forgotten I-Mac at the Wilmington computer repair shop. Ever heard of booking an appointment with the Genius Bar, genius, holla, thank you very much.

Unvaccinated Americans are the new “pandemic.” Mr. Unity whiffs again. Reality is, the experimental, non FDA approved vaccine is more useless than a mask on Biden at a brownie bakeoff for the PTA. Brownie Girls are getting inhaled whole regardless Jack.

Unvaccinated Americans are the new “pandemic.” I know, and all pro Desantis talk on Twitter is the new social disease.

Kids aren’t dying from COVID. But at this rate, the American spike sanctioned state isn’t giving them much to shoot for worth giving a shit about anymore either.

Get the vaccine for the kids. Woke bloke please. Democrats care less about child safety than photo ID for the open bar at John Podesta pool parties. Alex Jones lives, holla. Thank you very much.

The COVID vaccine works less than a stay at home dad who writes jokes about election fraud on WordPress for a living since the day election died.

The COVID vaccine being jammed down our throat with breathless fury isn’t safe like Stacey Abrams trying to steal home ever, regardless if it’s smothered in grits with indentions of Fabio’s dick.

China dumps it’s sewage into barrier reefs the way Stacey Abrams shits out crappy romance novels about finding love as congressional staffer after ditching the Ann Taylor suit for a sleeveless parachute jumper on casual Friday.

Did know you they banned spitting in Major League Baseball because of COVID spreading concerns. Yeah, and Stacy Abrams is allergic to Spanx. Now America’s favorite pastime in newsrooms, Hollywood backlots, corporate boardrooms and in Congress is swallowing whatever batshit sandwich China force feeds these sell out bitch propagandists to dump on the American public next. F your declaration of independence. Yuan money rules everything around us. You better mask up all, because the never ending shit show has only begun, unless you can move to Florida that’s a no go zone area for mask mandates, giving parents the choice of masking up their kids at school or not, Florida got love it. In Desantis we trust, thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth