Hop O Rama Swami on Success:
Swami says, “Be better than best or be nobody worth giving a shit about.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Life:
Swami says, “Live life in fear and you’ve got less to live for than a monologue joke writer for Stephen Colbert does. It’s too bad Bill O’ Reilly is no longer important enough to impersonate. At least Bill O’ Reilly gave Colbert gravitas.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Love:
Swami says, “Loving the one you’re with is an overrated experience, especially when they resent being expected to suck off even an inch-ling of your existence every other 6 months ever again.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Creativity:
Swami says, “If you’re mom doesn’t laugh at your jokes nobody will.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Attachment:
Swami says, “Don’t get too attached to flashes of alleged genius that came out of your creatively jacked dome if they’re not embraced online or off.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Status:
Swami says, “Status updates on LinkedIn scream respectability straining.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Money:
Swami says, “Money grants greater middle finger power, just ask Stone Cold or Adam Carolla on his podcast.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Fame:
Swami says, “Doing anything for fame alone is gayer than Roger Ebert’s aghast fueled review on The Foot Fist Way, his 3rd movie by the way.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Choice:
Swami says, “You’ll be fucked over by life with your face rubbed in your feces if you allow others to push you in whatever preferred direction they choose.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Want:
Swami says, “Stroke yourself if nobody else will do it for you.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Self-Love.
Swami says, “Overpriced IPA’s only leave you bloated with self-importance inside.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Your Problems.
Swami says, “Find a new lover of you and they’ll go away.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Darkness.
Swami says, “The extent of your impact on this earth can be writing disposable ad copy for a big pharma pimping marketing firm in San Diego. So, stop acting more depressed than your Euro-Pass being rendered useless once Europe transforms into one seemingly endless no-go zone without any access to WI-FI in your Youth Hostel after the next man-made plague made in Wuhan is released to finish off our collective pursuit of happiness again.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Unnecessary Suffering:
Swami says, “I didn’t tell you to vote for Mr. Groper. And you call the other side mongoloid morons, douche bags are us.
Hop O Rama Swami on Facing Fears:
Swami says, “I’d triple wrap by super soaker before playing around with Madonna’s kick the can clit to.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Pain Management.
Swami says, “Take up blow painting and leave me out of it.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Bullshit.
Swami says, “If it sounds like bullshit, it means the person is underselling distressment again. ”
Hop O Rama Swami on Science:
Swami says, “Experimenting on kids with an experimental form of gene therapy that weakens their immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyers Club makes you culpable of 2nd degree murder if their heart goes before your mind does when the greatest mass murdering sham throughout the history of man is revealed in full-blown harrowing detail on Pay-Per-View with Alex Jones hosting to help pay off our national debut to mankind for allowing this never ending shit show of biblical proportions to ensue under our alleged all loving, morally grounded, shit don’t stink watch. In other words, there are no benefits from taking the COVID 19 vaccine outside of rapidly fleeting airs of invaluable importance because you’re dumb enough to trust anything the FDA and whatever The Icky Shuffle administration jams down your throat with such Mao worshiping, misinformation molesting authority.”
Hop O Rama Swami on Hard Seltzer’s that are Gluten Free.
Swami says, “Acceptable to drink during your year without beer after 30 days but only if your brain is absolutely screaming out for some shishy bitch dad lightening relief.”