Tag: FDA

Burning Burnouts

by doitalldadyear, posted in fiction, humor, writing

I stopped taking weed edibles because I got tired of feeling like a moron while trying to answer my daughter’s questions that were keeping her up, after I thought she was asleep already. Edibles kick in, Daughter asks, “Daddy, if God created the universe, then who created God? I say, “God went back in time, in a Time Machine, made by Elon Musk. Daughter says, “Keep on doing edibles daddy. Thanks for making me an Atheist at 4.”

Pothead dad texts, “You got to see Jurassic Park 3, Jeff Goldblum.” I text back, “Why, because your wife told you to follow fake news scientists on Twitter like Dr. Gnocchi. After you gave your kid clot shots to prevent them from catching an itchy esophagus. Let me guess, you got your wife pregnant because you got stoned and forgot to ask her if she was on the morning after pill? Join the club. Actually, had a pothead friend in college who had a Production Assistant job on the Universal lot. So, we’d sneak into Universal Studios through the parking lot into the Jurassic Park ride all the time. At the same time, this was before California became a giant tent city sponsored by REI. We didn’t have to show ID or a wrist band to enter the park once we snuck in through the Jurassic Park ride through the parking lot. Today, we wouldn’t have to show proof of vaccination if we had a good tan holmes. It’s not as if Universal Studio’s was giving away free parking passes so anybody under the sun could enjoy all the rides for free. California Democrats didn’t have to steal elections and woo new voters in broad daylight just yet, those were the days. When Spielberg’s daughter didn’t do porn to keep up with Kim Kardashian. I know, she’s studying to become a social justice lawyer now. Social Justice Lawyers are so hot right now. Hot enough to snag Pete Davidson in his prime who looks like Annie Leibowitz and Barney from the Simpsons had a baby. The voice of Generation Z, the boy toy king of Staten Island shouldn’t get burnt out on pimping for Big Pharma by shaming clot shot resistors on SNL for a living. So, what difference does burning burnouts make? Burning Burnouts, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Castration Nation

by doitalldadyear, posted in poetry, politics, writing

I think the Pentagon invented the Monkeypox, so they’d scare the rest of our military into chopping their dicks off. They already forced out those who refused to get the clot shot. So, what difference does it make? Our general in charge is a glamorized HR manager with sloppier tits. His only tour of duty is playing Russian Roulette with his dick at the nearest glory hole in Biloxi, Mississippi for basic training. So, what difference does it make? We already abandoned our own military and citizens in Afghanistan along with 85 billion dollars’ worth of military equipment for Al-Qaeda with our dick between our legs. So as Hillary Hammer Time Cankles would say, “What difference does it make?”

Drag Queen reading hour under fluorescent library lights is a scary enough image burned into our troop’s craniums for those responsible for teaching gender fluid reader fluency to kids tiring of Chekov plays in the Ukraine, when nobody is liberal enough to go ass to mouth even if you ate caviar out of the Count’s anus hole first. So, what difference does it make? At least, now, rapes in the military will dip dramatically. The only thing getting rapped will be free will, but that was happening already over the clot shots. So, what difference does it make? We don’t intend on winning another war again. So, what difference does it make? The Capital Police are free to murder American vets in broad day light like Ashly Babbit. So, what difference does it make? Michelle Obama will still find a way to be pissed despite Joan Rivers being the one who got dicked over permanently by Tina Turner, 2.0, What’s Talent Got To Do With It? So, what difference does it make?

Britney Spears can’t even get her memoir published because we’re running out of paper because the Sunday New York Times hogs up the paper market, by publishing enough shit about taking cannibalism and eating cockroaches back for the privilege of saving mother earth like it’s worth saving at this point. So, what difference does it make? If they steal another election, the military will shoot to kill us like a bunch of crazed Jihadists against any patriotic citizens left. So, what difference does it make? At least now, charges of the Supreme Court being soft on pedophiles in the military, won’t hold as much water in court. So, what difference does it make? Critical Race Theory doesn’t include do shit mayors who’ve let the criminals run wild because they don’t want to be called racist pieces of shit. So, what difference does it make?

Sudden Adult Death Syndrome from the clot shot isn’t going away, neither is Aids and the common flu rebranded as an itchy esophagus through COVID. So, what difference does it make? My kids aren’t joining the military to study military strategy, which has always been bend over and take it or get court marshalled you maggot eating piece of shit. So, what difference does it make? Tibetan Monks aren’t supporting themselves on nude meditation videos on Great Minds On Fire.Com. So, what difference does it make?

Castration Nation has no balls left to prosecute and punish those who push the clot shot at nauseum. So, what difference does it make? Castration Nation oms on and is threatened with loss of liberty, their job and pursuit of happiness if they dare to protest out in public against our stolen election outside the Capital Building while ANTIFA, and BLM get to burn down our cities at will while Corporate America pushes clot shots to placate the rape enablement Democrat party in our land of Democrat Deterioration not that Republicans who rubber stamped this sham presidency are any better. So, what difference does it make?

Uncle Sam wasn’t getting much action in the 1st place and is past his prime money shot blasting years. So since, the day Democracy died, and all forms of humanity left our medical profession after Cuomo found a way to kill Italian grandma without throwing her off the train. So, what difference does it make? Bruce Springsteen will stall call all his fans racist anyway. Even the ones who got jealous of Bruce Springsteen inviting Obama be Good to dance with him on stage to Dancing in the Dark on the Broadway. So, what difference does it make? Getting in last licks good. Last licks live, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

American Made Prayer

by doitalldadyear, posted in beauty, faith, poetry

Aaron Rodgers, Kyrie Irving and the gluten tennis guy enter the hotel bar at the Pierre just to make Michelle Obama uncomfortable while in town for the U.S Open.

Bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind.”

Gluten Tennis guy says, “I piss Beetroot brighter than you.”

Kyrie Irving says, “Still educating yourself on Hydroxychloroquine for Dummies, merchant of liquid death?”

Aaron Rodgers says, “Even my bud Joe Rogan thinks you smirk too much.”

Bartender says, “Deplorable douchebags, what will you do when Michelle Obama becomes our next President?”

After they’re all done laughing and coughing out lungs without any blood clots in them.

Kyrie Irving says, “Just what America needs, Obama’s, Five O’ Clock Shadow Part 2.”

Never forget the new terrorists that pushed Operation Death Speed on us, that’s ripped the heart out of our American Dream that’s barely hanging on to life support in front of our children’s undimmed eyes, if you’re lucky.

Bury these demonic shitbags and force Hunter to snort up their dusty remains and have LA famed street artist Babo spray paint the pic all over the Smithsonian in D.C. to hang for all eternity. God’s speed, Lord, God’s speed.

Michael Kornbluth

Spirit Of Internet Radio

by doitalldadyear, posted in books, fiction, poetry

What’s racist about Voter ID? Does Julio have to pass a height requirement, I don’t know about yet?

Aren’t white boy’s plagued with white man’s disease, more marginalized in the NBA than their fellow brother man? Who knew that guaranteed money despite zero moves to the left was so oppressive?

And what’s racist about not wanting to wear a mask? Unless John Kerry’s wife demanded the mask mandate be lifted at their Illuminati gang bang retreat in Sun Valley because she considers banging faceless Jew nerds like Good Will Hoodie at Facebook beneath her.

Who wears masks past Halloween, besides serial killers like Leather Face in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Jason past the NHL playoffs? Rob Zombie isn’t wearing one unless he’s attending an open house at Marilyn Manson’s house after making a killing off the Halloween film’s he directed while slicing Wes Craven’s ego into pieces.

And what’s racist about refusing to get vaccinated with an experimental, potentially deadly vaccine, fake news hippie in the tie dye hoodie? I don’t think doctors in the Nazi party who pushed deadly, experimental vaccines on Jewish kids, gays, and cripples with no regrets are no better than physicians today who don’t condemn the FDA wanting authority to give clot shots on little girls, so their wombs become more polluted than Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. How can I be racist if I’m against vaccine mandates, especially on kids, if I think doctors of all creeds, who push an experimental, deadly vaccine on kids to avoid catching an itchy esophagus instead, deserve to be hung at the exact same time Fauci is after’s he’s kicked off his booster seat for Fauci Fright Feast Ends directed by Rob Zombie on Pay-Per-View. Plus, you’re the one that said, “Don’t N lip the Philly blunt like you never got your crack pipe addition under control since the Regan years either. Democrats pushed for Jim Crow, founded the Klan and gave us Obama, the most divisive, Jew hating president of all time, so why don’t you shine your war of the hoodies spiel, and jam it up your Rock loving ass, who endorsed Mr. Groper who called Obama “clean” for an African American by the way. The same Rock who’s also guilty of cultural appropriation for exploiting the Rocky brand name 6 movies later, 8 if you’re counting the Creed’s, for all the HGH it’s worth. You’re the racist one for acting above highbrow, historical fiction humor. Or else you’d retweet this a plus gem joke blast to the Rock on Twitter immediately, “Why wasn’t DMX ever accused of cultural appropriation for thuggin up Teddy Rosevelt’s brand of Rough Riders for all it was worth?” But Biden got more votes than Obama Be Good ever did. Yeah, and DMX gave up weed for catnip for Lent, Challah. Yonker’s finest lives, Yonker’s is getting black as shit up here, Challah, thank you very much.”

Spirt of The Internet Radio: Take down anyone who thinks deplorable is anybody who’s glad Jussie Smollett took a shot.

How is masking up our kids in school the right thing to do like my wife on her birthday? Masks are the new condoms, not. I can’t cream in my wife wearing one either, screaming, “Woo, sex is fun again.”

Masks on little girls, don’t scream Woman’s Lib. They cry, “I’m afraid to die. And my parents haven’t even exposed me to Ingmar Bergman films with subtitles about the random, inevitability of heaven free death yet.”

New York City’s only shot of rescinding all vaccine mandates is if Woody Allen comes out as an anti-vaxer on the View. Can you imagine, the most famous neurotic New Yorker of all time, comes out on the View and says, “I’m not an anti-vaxer. I’m just against turning into you Joy.” Whoopie says, “What does that mean Woody?” Woody says, “It means I’ve got a Soon-Yi and won’t die alone after annoying my partner to death like a bat shit crazy cat lady on the Upper West Side like booger face Joy Whoopie? Plus, I’ve been exposed to more deadly threats than COVID? Like waking up next to the head of Seabiscuit after Mia accused me of molesting all the kids on the UNICEF box after her family. Sure, and Joy Behar is going to picked as the new chief happiness officer for Breitbart.”

I interview for an internal recruiter position with Westchester Jewish Community Service in White Plains, NY. Later, a funny thought emerged. It’s hard to recruit candidates in this climate because Florida and Anti-Semitism are so hot right now.

I’m the only Jew I know who takes Adderall before attending synagogue because organized religion makes me feel so disorganized. Normally, I’d lose my place easily during the never-ending prayer service and peak at other congregation member’s prayer books to see what page we’re on like a direction challenged peeping tom.  Now, I just speed reed at my own pace on Adderall in Synagogue to feel like a more focused Billie Madison in Back to Hebrew School. Who’s more at one with pleasing God by making an effort to focus on his holy presence within his transcribed book to Moses more so than being in tune with the ebbs and flows of hyper organized Jews who can sing these, intended sung, sung prayers without the aid of congregational sing along assistance or use of Karaoke machines to drive greater engagement during Shul singles mixers for Neil Diamond appreciation night.

Nowadays, The Guitar Center should be right of center instead of left. Instead, all their guitar technicians and sales personal wear masks like Buckethead without the career gimmick excuse to hide from in the process. How does the Store Manager for The Guitar Store in Danbury, CT consider himself a rock and roll deviant of any kind by forcing his employees to wear masks at work? What’s his justification exactly? Joni Mitchell got my back, so I don’t have to strangle myself with her haggard hippie shawls from the Capital Records Building while screaming, “Free Falling Mom.” The wildflower crooner from Gainesville lives, Traveling Wilburys forevermore, 2 out of 5 left ain’t bad, Meatloaf shines on to, Challah, thank you very much.

Not everyone at The Guitar Center sucks. The guitar tech on staff laughed when I said, “Becoming in tune with what clear tonalities sound like throughout the neck of my guitar is still a work in motion like trying to get a grip on jerking off with my left for vigorous 15-minute stretches at time, which feels less natural than Neil Young singing about opening the Keystone Pipeline again during Farm Aid because he’s another cheap rocker who prefers cheap gas over demonizing fracking on Twitter, knowing all the Mountain Dew consumption down south will offset all those deplorable low birth rates in no time. At the same time, fuck Spotify and Lisa Simpson. Imagine Trump debating Lisa Simpson through Zoom on the Joe Rogan podcast before it gets killed off permanently. Trump says, “Fracking actually reduces our Co2 emissions Lisa. Lisa Simpson shrieks like Daryl Hannah after Neil Young bruises an avocado from throwing it at the TV after Fox News shows a protest sign from the vaccine mandate trucker protest in Ottawa that says, “COVID Damage Done”, before replying to The Donald in dejected disgust, “”So, Neil Young is full of shit now to?” Trump says, “Neil Young doesn’t take showers to reduce his carbon footprint, so that much you share in common babe.” But say hello to Greta Thunberg for me Lisa. Feel free to tell her I don’t sweat global warming because Al Gore’s film career has cooled considerably. Plus, this winter in Palm Beach is colder than Harvey Weinstein’s casting couch at the Four Seasons. Last, I don’t see your messiah Obama Be Good sweating rising water levels at his beachfront estate in Hawaii or in Martha’s Vineyard unless Jimmy Kimmel filled up his bong with extra Smart Water, which add extra bounce to your step, making you feel like Jennifer Aniston on the rebound, but hey, that’s what friends are for. Especially for Obama Be Good Joe, because if Obama is such baller, then why would he ride the bench at an all-Asian private school in Hawaii? In case you’re wondering Lisa, the debate is over like whether Obama run Netflix would ever do a remake of the Bush Dynasty to make Nazi war profiteering great again.   The librarian wife isn’t a fan of me Joe. At least, Hillary took a risk to get rich or die trying bitch. And who saw Ellen coming out as friend of W? Joe says, “Ellen is friends with W?” Trump says, “Joe, I know you smoke a ton of dope, but how do you blank on the image of Ellen palling around in the VIP seats with W at a Cowboys game? You live in Texas now for Christ’s sake. Let me make your standup comedy act a thing of beauty for a change. Ellen’s friends with W, she even admitted it on her show to prove what a non-divisive comedian she is because Ellen is pro Bush all the way.  But what do they do together for fun Joe? Invite Michelle Obama to play a game of Operation, Gender Reassignment edition, if W isn’t too busy inspiring his art apprentice Hunter Biden, the Queen calls him Sir Snort A Lot, with painting more water colors of maimed vets bleeding red and white and blue that he gave PTSD to, since Collin Powell shilled for the war machine, like Kareem Abdul Jabbar does for Big Pharma by pushing vaccine mandates on NBA players like his Pharma mutual fund at Prudential was riding on it. Joe interrupts, “But aren’t you being a fence sitting cunt Donald, by espousing individual choice while pushing booster shots on stage with Bill Oreilly, despite your Operation Warp speed approved vaccine working less than Donald Westbrook running the Triangle Offense? Plus, Dr. Malone, an infectious disease expert, claims kids don’t have to sweat COVID like a pool party invite to Tony Podesta’s house, which has enough pedo installation artwork on the walls to make Marilyn Manson blush. More importantly, if you follow the science or read independent research done by our own military doctors, it’s been proven how these COVID vaccines are responsible for causing enlarged hearts, higher fertility rates, even increased cancer rates, that’s causing young athletes in their prime to collapse and die of heart attacks on the field. If ESPN wasn’t just a safe space for Lebron James’s ego, they’d be reporting on these soccer players being dropped faster than Obama on Broadway after Bruce invites him on stage to Dancing In The Dark. Granted, American’s don’t watch soccer, and Fox News cares less about dead Europeans than OJ’s golf handicap, so how else would Americans know? Have you even contemplated condemning all the doctors pushing these dangerous clot shots on kids Donald, or in some cases, mandating them to attend school like they do in California, when the survival rate for COVID is 99.8 percent? Or are you afraid to be associated with vaccines you put a spit shine on ad nauseum because you prefer to have Dr. Gnocchi be associated with playing fake news God by forcing us to sacrifice our children’s lives to prove our undying love of tyrant Nazis doctors in bed with the FDA and the CCP, Sucking?” Alex Jones lives, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Supply Chain Solved

by doitalldadyear, posted in entertainment, humor, writing

Require every dreamer crossing our border to work as a delivery driver for UPS for one year in exchange for the free social security cards and I-Phones they’re getting at the border that comes with Waze, and our supply chain problem is solved.

Illegal immigrants flown into JFK on Jet Blue are given a license to vote Democrat anyway. Plus, illegal immigrants are exempt from the clot shot, so they’ll be healthy enough to do more ballot stuffing for UPS during the midi-term election season.

Michael Kornbluth

Off The List Museums

by doitalldadyear, posted in Parenting

Taking down the Teddy Rosevelt statue outside the Museum of Natural History is bad enough, especially knowing how I named my 3rd child Samuel Teddy Kornbluth. Now, Kyrie Irving can play home games at the Barclay’s Center, but I can’t take my kids to the Met without them sporting a Monet mask on either.

Cump Dumpster Queens like Cardi B can teach kids about making facials great again as a form of money shot birth control to a bunch of 2nd graders at Bronx Science, since they loosened their admission standards for rap ho guest speakers to. But let’s mask up our kids on class trips like Michael Jackson’s kids on holiday in Bahrain till their voices crack under their ball gag muzzles made in China, because the CDC, FDA, WHO, and Hunter’s Art Dealer in Wuhan, already painted COVID as the scariest virus imaginable on par with entry into the Dalla’s Buyer’s Club while smashing their age of innocence into ancient ruins. So, at this point, what difference does it make? Hillary Hammer Time Cankles strikes again, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Sacred Cow Cooking

by doitalldadyear, posted in entertainment, fiction, sports

Wife had a Hillary Clinton spotting during lunch recently with my son. Wife says, “Hillary was nice. She smiled at baby.” I said, “Of course Hillary smiled at baby. Hillary was getting warmed up for dessert.”

Emotionally Compelling Situation:

A Coroner who gives an honest toxicology report about fake news media manipulation for a change. Let’s call the book, “The Coroner Conspiracy Theorist.” Soon after, the Funeral Director calls in Zombie backup once the Deep State sends in hit men silencers to prevent the COVID clot shot expose otherwise.

Emotionally Compelling Situation part II.

A Supreme Court Justice nominee receives a thank you note from a convicted sex offender for being soft on pedophilia. “Thanks for the Pete Townsend, just doing opposition research defense for a song about the proliferation of kiddie porn today called, “Cherry Picking Private Parts, It’s So Easy, Easy, When Everyone Under 10 Years of Age Is Out to Please Me Baby.”

Emotionally Compelling Situation part III.

A big brother asks for his wedding gift back after his ex-wife already pawned off her engagement ring. Big bro calls, “Hey bro, with my 46th birthday around the corner, I was thinking you could regift my Nintendo wedding gift, especially those added games like Pro Wrestling and Double Dribble knowing how your marriage lasted longer than Knick playoff runs during the Carmelo Anthony era. Who should be the co-spokesperson with Westbrook for Tampax Tampons because name another offensive duo responsible for stopping so much flowage. Little bro asks, “Why would I do that?” I say, “Because it would be a gift for all 3 kids and when you add up their ages 8, 11 and 5 and your 23 gifts behind. And you’ll be off the hook for 23 more years, when they won’t expect you to be another uncle to be uninvolved with anymore.”

Emotionally Compelling Situation Part IIII:

How does an autistic pastry chef/activist/models bring an autistic perspective to the BLM movement? Does he count all the ways BLM leaders burned their credibility through charges of tax evasion while blowtorching tops on rows of Creme Brulees?

Just read about an all-girl Muslim prom in Detroit. So, their prom was like mine, pork free.

Minneapolis Mosques are allowed to blast the call to prayer on outdoor speakers all year around now. I didn’t realize they were struggling to amplify their cries of Islamophobia despite averaging 5 shoutouts a day of Allah Akbar already.

Fuck your Pandemic talk. The real pandemic is the vax shot which depresses your immune system more than entry into the Dallas Buyers Club.

1 kid only means your diaphragm is for walls after all.

Why does Planned Parenthood need a 20 million donation from Jeff Bezos’s ex -wife? Planned Parenthood only made 184 million in revenue after teaming up with Gate’s ex-wife to fight off the surge in global warming by selling their own brand of umbilical chard stump smoothies, while rebranding them as Century Club Elixers in honor of Bill and Fauci. In other words, year of the Four Eyed Snakes, Challah. Cooking Sacred Cows rule. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Trucking To Zion

by doitalldadyear, posted in entertainment, faith, family

“Daddy, Jews for Mormonism doesn’t make any sense. So why are you converting to Mormonism again? Is it because you hate your people since you got fired from your intern blogger position for The Times of Israel for insisting China has resisted Wuhan lab investigations more than AquaFresh?, Little Samuel says. Do It All Dad takes his right hand off the steering wheel of his giant rig renamed Misinformation Machine and rubs his son’s head and says, “Your mother has a younger brother in Utah who’s a high ranking, Generation Z preacher of the Mormon Church, who with a little convincing, can grant me a religious exemption for the COVID vaccination after I convert. Then, I won’t have to worry about the fake news vaccine shot killing me more than the prospect of receiving a career consultation from LinkedIn ever again, my chest. This is an impersonation of Dr. Dre telling Eminem about Microsoft paying 4.5 billion for LinkedIn. Eminem says,” Worrddddddddd, LinkedIn, is lamer than ever yoh!” Thank God, I trusted my gut, cut myself off from Mimi and Papa and got my trucker License instead.”

Little Samuel says, “I’ll always be on your team to make more comedy records daddy, because more comedy records for you is more comedy records for me, moron Son. When will you record comedy record 91, putzy moron butt carrots?” You’re taking forever already. Mama wouldn’t want you to put the brakes on your comedian career on my behalf, not that it hasn’t stopped you before, but you get the gist Boozy Beer Daddy.” Do It All Dad gets a tad misty, overwhelmed with a surge of heart aching emotion and says, “Her dreamy blond looks live through you kid, which should help bolster our case when we ask her Mormon brother Blair Rittenhouse Square The 3rd to give us that religious exemption after he converts me to Mormonism. How can you not get big love in Utah kid? One time, a MILF bum rushed you at the supermarket when you were only 2 and says, “When you get older, you’ll have 3 girlfriends to juggle.” And I said, “If James Woods had this kid’s face, your estimates wouldn’t be so conservative.”

Little Samuel says, “Do most mommies die of heart attacks at 42 Daddy?” Do It All Dad says, “Not unless they’re employed by the WWE kid. Mama died from the COVID clot shot and she didn’t have the strained heart I had from all the cocaine I did in my twenties throughout my thirties, only hearing last call from the bathroom stall while yelling, “Where’s Hunter?” Who is else is going to pay for this shit? Shit, we’re running low on gas. You know the routine Samuel. Money equals freedom and we can’t make it to Utah if we don’t sell some bumper stickers fast. The GPS says there’s a Shell station in 1.2 miles, we should have enough to make it. Still not banking on Obama Be Good lickers like Dave Chapelle getting his cousins Trump voiced GPS systems for Kwanza. On your far left, is Mohegan Sun, Elizabeth Warren’s home away from home. Now, grab the COVID Damage Done bumper stickers and get ready to sell with divine powered authority like Kevin Hart’s agent in convincing Universal Studio’s anyone who calls him a poor man’s Eddie isn’t a jealous hater, just a short on laughs spectator.”

Little Samuel approaches a Karen type going to the bathroom at the Shell station and says, “Hi, can I interest you in a bumper sticker to support the Freedom Trucker Convoy, called COVID Damage Done?” Karen says, “Is that supposed to be a stupid Neil Young reference kid?” As far as I’m concerned you can’t vaccinate kids young enough. Thank God New York state doesn’t allow you to attend Pre-K without wearing a mask on. Wear the damn mask kid, they still work. Do It All Dad interjects, “Hey Karen, why don’t you suck the hate speech and white privilege out of my chosen person schlong first. Consider it elongated love. Pretend Justin Trudeau ordered you to leak it.” A group of truckers overhear the commotion and crack up in unison. One of the truckers raises his voice among the deafening shriek of laughter and says, “I’ll take 100 bumper stickers kid.”

Do It All Dad and Little Samuel arrive at Zion National Park to have a moment with God before plowing forward with the Do It All Dad Does Mormonism pitch to his dead wife’s brother preacher. Do It All Dad says, “God, I’m half a fag, so the polygamy thing isn’t that much a driving force behind my decision to forsake my Jewish side for Mormonism. Plus, most Mormons voted for Mitt Romney, so their judge of good character is questionable at best. The exalted, all-knowing Mitt called Trump the Anti-Christ for Christ’s sake. But in the Bible part 2, Jesus returns from heaven to defeat the Anti-Christ. So have some faith, in the Jesus comeback story, won’t you, people?” Little Samuel says, “Does this mean you’re not converting to Mormonism now Dad?” Do It All Dads beams with divine powered light and says, “Looks like it doesn’t kid. How many bumper stickers do we have left?” Samuel says, “We got 52” and one hardcore hilarious joker.” Do It All Dad says, “That should be enough gas money to get us to Vegas. There’s a new Stand-Up Comedy Festival there called, “Seriously Clowning”, the winning comedian gets 25 grand and a co-hosting audition for the Russell Brand’s podcast. I’ll take those odds kid.” Little Samuel looks up to his cherished, Dear Dada and says “You’re going to kill them Daddy, you’re going to kill them. Don’t forget to open with your bit about me confusing Grandma for Kurt Cobain on the TV, which isn’t the most flattering look.” Do It All Dad says, “Nirvana didn’t kill Hair Metal, Aids did, before Magic Made HIV disappear. Courtney Love is Mia Farrow with better husband selection. If Kurt Cobain killed himself at the height of his popularity, then Woody Allen just got book advance from Random House on a book about hands off parenting called Crimes and Misdemeanors, The Early Years. I miss Trump’s relentless optimism and over the top salesmanship. If Trump was stabbed with the deep state needle used to take out Easy E, he’d tweet the next morning on whatever hate speech platform he’s allowed to rumble on next, “Do I have HIV? Yes, but my t-cell count numbers have never been stronger. Can I get a holla for some Challah? Mongoloid Moron lives, running on schtick till the end of the time and I feel fine, Challah. Thank you very much.”

Michel Kornbluth