Once upon a time there was a stay at home dad who launched his stand-up comedy centric, Do It All Dad Year Podcast to reuse his shadow banned jokes on Twitter, prove he’s funny enough to be a headlining American comedian on a weekly basis and to rise from slug to paid stud as the star voice behind the remote work revolution. 124 podcast episodes later, Do It All Dad proclaims, John Lennon wishes he was this productive during his stay at home dad years. On the podcast, Do It All Dad constantly preaches, controlling our kids with comedy, can make our kids great again.
Do It All Dad picks a new race to win, becoming a bestselling author, knowing his Pro Trumpian stance hasn’t won him any fans in Cupertino to put his podcast on new and notable anytime soon, making it nearly impossible to monetize his A list headliner stand-up comedy material, he’s amassed so far.
But now Do It All Dad is being refunded the money he paid somebody to review his books because it violates hate speech standards. In other words, Do It All Dad supports our president and hates what’s become of the lying, Jewish smearing media for all its worth. What’s a proud New Yorker Jew to do, knowing his hometown has lost its collective mind? Hurling Nazi analogies about a President working free, defeating ISIS and pulling out out of never ending wars, trying to denuclearize the most dangerous parts of the world, just because they’re stiil with her for some reason and Baby Boomer arrogance never dies. Neither does east coast smug elitism and thinking they’re morally superior because they’ve taken the subway from Harlem once in their lifetime.
All Do It All Dad wants is to get paid from his comedy and writing from home so he can hang out with kids more, because he feels the kids need Dad around more than mama out of fear that if he leaves New York for another job down south in Atlanta or to open for a headliner comedian on the road throughout the American heartland, mama will bore his 3 kids to death in his absence. Also, Do It All Dad has grandparents in different states, far away, so he’s got nobody to look after the kids during his pursuit of elusive comedic glory.
One day, his wife, makes an ultimatum, “Get a job any job or move out, enough horsing around with jokes you’re not getting paid for already.” I’ve been patient for 10 Years. ” Do It All Dad replies, “Whistling helps.”
Because of the ultimatum, which his 3 kids overhear over dinner, Do It All Dad ‘s daughter makes an Alley-Oop prayer to Vishnu after spotting a White Rainbow from her bedroom window. She says, “Vishnu, my daddy is really funny but can’t make any money. Please, help my daddy pick a new race to win with the help of beautiful Palomino Horse, to act as his Jockey, his trainer, his Mick from Rocky if you will. I don’t know if there’s a Bollywood version of Rocky, but I think you get the gist about now.”
In the meantime, Do It All Dad is applying for writing jobs, recruiter jobs, but nobody is chasing him down for interviews because of the dreaded gap years on his resume. For once, Do It All feels like he’s being discriminated against because of his age, pro Trumpian stance and for his happy disposition for being a stay at home dad, who actually wants to stay at home in his castle instead of darting back to the commuter line again, despite his parents, friends, and society’s insistence on guilting him into doing otherwise.
Then, Do It All Dad gets a call from a new friendship ad, his daughter paid for in Town and Country. She took money out of her saving account to pay for it and got an advance on her prototype for Slim Girl Dolls through Kickstarter.
Do It All Dad gets a call. The voice on the other end claims to work in talent relations at Yonkers’s Raceway, and they’re looking for an in-house sports blogger to cover the races. They agree to an interview time there at Yonkers’ Raceway in their HR office.
During the interview, Do It All Dad meets the so-called HR Director who turns to be a Talking Palomino Horse, who sounds like the understated yet poetically deep biting, writer Charles Bukowski. The Talking Horse, AKA, Hollywood Royalty gives Do It All Dad a long shot bet to make at the track tomorrow. Do It All Dad has been horsing around studying Hinduism and asks the horse if he’s a medium for Charles Bukowski? Hollywood Royalty replies, Enough horsing around. Let’s get this show on the road. What show? Barnstorming USA Farmer’s Markets. I’ll play the straight man in our comedy act. You can’t pull it off down South as well, Midwest included. But first we need money for a horse trailer. Sell all your hair metal records, your wife thinks they’re crap anyway and come here with the money to put on Harlan Hurler at 50-1, got it.
Do It All Dad sells his cherished record collection and throws in his leather bomber Faconnable jacket his wife almost divorced him over, to close the deal, they he got from his 1st TV writing break in Manhattan for getting paid to write all the TV Host script reads for WWE star Chris Jericho, for America’s Hard 100, which ranked the greatest hard rock and heavy metal videos of all time.
Do It All Dad takes all 3 of his kids to track the night mama hangs out with her best friend for the big wager. Do It All Dad wins big at the track, turns out the female Palomino had a tip on the horse because every Palomino from North Salem, NY is only five degrees of Separation from Martha Stewart. The Dark Horse, who nobody has seen race much, wins. Do It All Dad’s alley oop prayer came through due her belief in Vishnu and Karma miles Dada has amassed in his favor for making the Indian Comedy Gods Laugh With You long time. Now, it’s time for Do It All Dad to take his 2-person food review comedy act on the road, for Barnstorming USA Farmer’s Market, pitching it as Anthony Bourdain No Reservations Meets Fashion Police. One way out by the Allman Brothers plays as the horse trailer on the open highway with the license plate, Hollywood Royalty, as we fade out.