Uptown Balling

Brother says, “I wouldn’t move to Juneau, Alaska, too many Republicans.” I say, “Move to Oregon or Washington then man, ANTIFA apartheid, represent. You’ll find a dose off park community to identify with in no time, which reminds me. I’m tired of seeing kids in Steph Curry jersey’s today back east who never stepped over shit throughout the streets of San Franciso. How do these kids identify with Steph Curry exactly? Unless they’re mom won Mrs. Washington Heights and is hot enough to charge the price of Hamilton tickets per hour for some high-end chlamydia. Can I get holla for chlamydia from Steph Curry’s mom being worth 500 bones per pop? Uptown Balling, resist this Lin-Manuel, Hamilton is worse than Obama rapping, Challah. Thank you very much.

Michael Kornbluth

Hamilton Is Worse Than Obama Rapping

Wife says, “The Hamilton soundtrack is so good.” I say, “I prefer Martin Lawrence making fun of white voices, between his customary, banging, slaying flow on Def Comedy Jam. Also, there’s no Public Enemy menace, when these black guys rap. It’s like hearing what our founding fathers sounded like if Don Lemon could sell an English accent with a smidgen of Shakespearian soul.  But I’m positive you blaring the Hamilton soundtrack has nothing do with your interior rah, rah, for ANTIFA punks burning Portland and Seattle to the ground because they never outgrew their pyro phase in elementary school.  Last, Hillary Hammer Time Cankles, referencing Hamilton during her debate against Trump is more elitist than Spike Lee’s Louie the 14th matters Chandelier in his 3 floor townhouse on the Upper East Side, to put his white financier pals at JP Morgan at ease.

Michael Kornbluth