Joan Lives

My son asks, “Daddy, why do get so annoyed by Harry Potter movies again? I say, “It’s too many English accents for me to handle at once.” I can handle Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes every other year, but that’s it. I’d watch a reboot of the Harry Potter franchise with renewed interest if Russell Brand played  Voldemort as a coked out dark prince of stoner metal, who snorted his nose off, because he needed a perpetual boost out of the dark gallows of crippling depression for birthing such a pure blooded unhuggable cunt like Kelly Osbourne. Who killed off Fashion Police prematurely, after teaming up with Trans Chucky forever.”

Michael Kornbluth

 

Lego Stores Post Corona Are Off The List

How can I be transphobic? If I’d rather suck off Bruce Jenner with no makeup and be forced to swallow every last demon drop, than have to go into The LEGO Store again to buy a Harry Potter LEGO set, after the coast was clear, with my 3 kids faces all covered, including my own, which made me feel like Michael Jackson on holiday in Dubai after Magic made HIV disappear.

Michael Kornbluth