Do you remember when it took Hillary Hammer Time Cankle’s 5 times to get her MetroCard to work, for a failed photo op in a subway station in Harlem? Before swipe number 5, you can see Hillary Hammer Time Cankles, give herself a pep talk, muttering, underneath her stank afternoon Chardonnay breath, “Super predators, I mean black people are watching. You can do it.”
Do It All Dad pitches his new book The Great American Jew Novel to his wife’s friend.
It’s very Jewy.
Do It All Dad
Jews don’t have a monopoly on being stingy with emotive praise either.
But I’m glad my ultra Jewy, unapologetic title has you 2 non-believing gentiles clutching for the comfort from the missing crucifix around your necks.
Beyoncé sitting out the National Anthem during the Super Bowl, when J Lo put her kids in fake news cages and banged a stripper pole hoping Ben Affleck would drunk dial her again. Meanwhile, the Queen of England is watching the Superbowl on the Teli, 2 gin and tonics in and says to her royal bartender, “And I thought Meghan Markle was a royal pain the ass.