The Brainwashing Projectors

How does Fox or Breitbart have a monopoly on so called brainwashing? For almost 4 years, Google, Twitter, ABC, NBC, CNN, ESPN, Facekbook, holier than now NPR included, has done nothing but perpetuate blatant lies like the Russian collusion tale with less legs than Lieutenant Dan, the sham impeachment trial, for the President questioning why Hunter was getting paid 50 grand week to push Borscht as the new Kombucha or blame President Trump not China for making a commie made virus to kill our recording breaking economy in one swoop. All lies, to wrestle back power in order to avoid prosecution and hide the real crimes of a failed coup to remove still your President Trump and real life election interference by illegally spying on the Trump campaign when he was running against Hillary Hamme Time Cankles in addition to bankrupting and shitting all over General Flynn’s name, a former Democrat by the way, because Obama didn’t like the fact how he disapproved of the fake news hopeful one gifting Iran, the number one sponsor of terrorism in the world, 150 billion to make their economy less reliant on the sale of hair removal products for the Kardashians, which has zero to do with Drago popping up in election booths 4 years ago, declaring vote Trump or I’ll break you.

Michael Kornbluth

Jeff Ross Roasting Jay Z

Jay Z sat out the anthem during the Super Bowl because back in the VIP room before the game, Jeff Ross busted his balls, saying, “Hey Jay, don’t you think child separation could be a good thing? I mean look how you turned out. Plus, if Coco never got separated from his parents, he never would’ve become a mini Los Lobos in the making.”

Michael Kornbluth

 

Notes From A Triggered Proofreader

You know your editor isn’t enamored with your fellow Israelites, when she insists you’re arrogant for making a crusade joke, because I point out how killing Jews who refuse to acknowledge Jesus as their lord and savior is as arrogant as it gets. But I’m the one perpetuating negative stereotypes of Jewish people for being greedy about making all the Nazi jokes I want, because Nazis require safe spaces now to. Go woke yourself. The Swastika does look like 2 stick figures doing a sixty nine on Crystal Meth. Also, you gotta love comments such as, “I’ve never met any Muslim Holocaust deniers.” I didn’t know Plano, Texas turned into a no-go zone for Farrakhan licker jokes, my bad. Also, name a comic who isn’t cocky, and I’ll be glad to tell you how much he sucks in real time, long time.

Michael Kornbluth

Resisting Unsolicited Parenting Advice

I hate woman who give me unsolicited advice whenever I’m out in public with my 3 kids because they’re being passive aggressive buzz kills, who never get anyone high off their presence alone ever.  I’m in the process of putting a mask on my 3-year-old before entering a fancy cheese chop in the burbs because I’m grooming shishy bitches on the rise and I hear, “The mask is covering his eyes.” I blurt out, “Don’t act you’re a must-see star attraction all of a sudden babe. I’ve been entertaining 3 kids for 3 summers in a row with no centralized AC or virtual grandparents in sight and loving almost every second of it. So, when your blah brained, hubby, starts to outshine you in the parenting department, it means, you’re a more annoying cunt, than you give yourself credit for babe. If you had big tits, it would at least soften the blow of you trying to characterize me as a bumbling jerkoff putz who can’t tell whether he’s getting his son ready to enter a store post Corona for an overpriced grilled cheese, with gooey gruyere or a pinata smack off for my white privileged seed because their father doesn’t treat them like a shameful, resurgent herpes sore on the spot, runs off to his hack golf buds, as deep as the eighteen hole, whenever he likes, or just abandons their kid all together with his baby mama, because he’s got fresher snatch to spew into next, which trumps being in position to do cartwheels into his kid’s hearts which matters most, unless you want to be responsible for birthing another kid stuck in an endless cycle of violence or drugs to rebel against a chillingly indifferent world, that never gave me him a fighting chance to become somebody to believe in, yeah, yeah.

Michael Kornbluth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Masks Are The New Condoms, Not

Masks are the new condoms, not. I’d rather attend a Marti Gras parade in Brazil and flash my flap free Kosher grade schlong for some beads, without a mask on, than go bare backing with a gorgeous She-Male with 0.0 body fat on her stomach and legs, despite me getting a leg up on the competition before Bill Maher throws some anal beads into the mix.  Fine, Charlie Sheen is the sole source behind millions of page views on primoshemalemixes.com.

Michael Kornbluth

Essential Baby Boomer Abortions

The Archbishop of New York just said, “The left wing is snotty over my dealings with Trump.” Off the record, the Archbishop tells a reporter at Breitbart, “I never believed in essential abortions for Baby Boomers, until Trump became President because baby boomer arrogance never dies.”

Michael Kornbluth